1、The Million Pound Note When I was twenty-seven years old, I was a mining-brokers clerk in San Francisco, and an expert in all the details of stock traffic. I was alone in the world, and had nothing to depend upon but my wits and a clean reputation; but these were setting my feet in the road to event
2、ual fortune, and I was content with the prospect. My time was my own after the afternoon board, Saturdays, and I was accustomed to put it in on a little sail-boat on the bay. One day I ventured too far, and was carried out to sea. Just at nightfall, when hope was about gone, I was picked up by a sma
3、ll brig which was bound for London. It was a long and stormy voyage, and they made me work my passage without pay, as a common sailor. When I stepped ashore in London my clothes were ragged and shabby, and I had only a dollar in my pocket. This money fed and sheltered me twenty-four hours. During th
4、e next twenty-four I went without food and shelter. About ten oclock on the following morning, seedy and hungry, I was dragging myself along Portland Place, when a child that was passing, towed by a nurse-maid, tossed a luscious big pearminus one biteinto the gutter. I stopped, of course, and fasten
5、ed my desiring eye on that muddy treasure. My mouth watered for it, my stomach craved it, my whole being begged for it. But every time I made a move to get it some passing eye detected my purpose, and of course I straightened up then, and looked indifferent, and pretended that I hadnt been thinking
6、about the pear at all. This same thing kept happening and happening, and I couldnt get the pear. I was just getting desperate enough to brave all the shame, and to seize it, when a window behind me was raised, and a gentleman spoke out of it, saying: “Step in here, please.“ I was admitted by a gorge
7、ous flunkey, and shown into a sumptuous room where a couple of elderly gentlemen were sitting. They sent away the servant, and made me sit down. They had just finished their breakfast, and the sight of the remains of it almost overpowered me. I could hardly keep my wits together in the presence of t
8、hat food, but as I was not asked to sample it, I had to bear my trouble as best I could. Now, something had been happening there a little before, which I did not know anything about until a good many days afterwards, but I will tell you about it now. Those two old brothers had been having a pretty h
9、ot argument a couple of days before, and had ended by agreeing to decide it by a bet, which is the English way of settling everything. You will remember that the Bank of England once issued two notes of a million pounds each, to be used for a special purpose connected with some public transaction wi
10、th a foreign country. For some reason or other only one of these had been used and canceled; the other still lay in the vaults of the Bank. Well, the brothers, chatting along, happened to get to wondering what might be the fate of a perfectly honest and intelligent stranger who should be turned adri
11、ft in London without a friend, and with no money but that million-pound bank-note, and no way to account for his being in possession of it. Brother A said he would starve to death; Brother B said he wouldnt. Brother A said he couldnt offer it at a bank or anywhere else, because he would be arrested
12、on the spot. So they went on disputing till Brother B said he would bet twenty thousand pounds that the man would live thirty days, anyway, on that million, and keep out of jail, too. Brother A took him up. Brother B went down to the Bank and bought that note. Just like an Englishman, you see; pluck
13、 to the backbone. Then he dictated a letter, which one of his clerks wrote out in a beautiful round hand, and then the two brothers sat at the window a whole day watching for the right man to give it to. I would have picked up the pear now and eaten it before all the world, but it was gone; so I had
14、 lost that by this unlucky business, and the thought of it did not soften my feeling towards those men. As soon as I was out of sight of that house I opened my envelope, and saw that it contained money! My opinion of those people changed, I can tell you! I lost not a moment, but shoved note and mone
15、y into my vest pocket, and broke for the nearest cheap eating house. Well, how I did eat! When at last I couldnt hold any more, I took out my money and unfolded it, took one glimpse and nearly fainted. Five millions of dollars! Why, it made my head swim. I must have sat there stunned and blinking at
16、 the note as much as a minute before I came rightly to myself again. The first thing I noticed, then, was the landlord. His eye was on the note, and he was petrified. He was worshiping, with all his body and soul, but he looked as if he couldnt stir hand or foot. I took my cue in a moment, and did t
17、he only rational thing there was to do. I reached the note towards him, and said, carelessly: “Give me the change, please.“ Then he was restored to his normal condition, and made a thousand apologies for not being able to break the bill, and I couldnt get him to touch it. He wanted to look at it, an
18、d keep on looking at it; he couldnt seem to get enough of it to quench the thirst of his eye, but he shrank from touching it as if it had been something too sacred for poor common clay to handle. I said: “I am sorry if it is an inconvenience, but I must insist. Please change it; I havent anything el
19、se.“ But he said that wasnt any matter; he was quite willing to let the trifle stand over till another time. I said I might not be in his neighborhood again for a good while; but he said it was of no consequence, he could wait, and, moreover, I could have anything I wanted, any time I chose, and let
20、 the account run as long as I pleased. He said he hoped he wasnt afraid to trust as rich a gentleman as I was, merely because I was of a merry disposition, and chose to play larks on the public in the matter of dress. By this time another customer was entering, and the landlord hinted to me to put t
21、he monster out of sight; then he bowed me all the way to the door, and I started straight for that house and those brothers, to correct the mistake which had been made before the police should hunt me up, and help me do it. I was pretty nervous; in fact, pretty badly frightened, though, of course, I
22、 was no way in fault; but I knew men well enough to know that when they find theyve given a tramp a million-pound bill when they thought it was a one-pounder, they are in a frantic rage against him instead of quarreling with their own near-sightedness, as they ought. As I approached the house my exc
23、itement began to abate, for all was quiet there, which made me feel pretty sure the blunder was not discovered yet. I rang. The same servant appeared. I asked for those gentlemen. “They are gone.“ This in the lofty, cold way of that fellows tribe. “Gone? Gone where?“ “On a journey.“ “But whereabouts
24、?“ “To the Continent, I think.“ “The Continent?“ “Yes, sir.“ “Which wayby what route?“ “I cant say, sir.“ Maybe those men mean me well, maybe they mean me ill; no way to decide thatlet it go. Theyve got a game, or a scheme, or an experiment, of some kind on hand; no way to determine what it islet it
25、 go. Theres a bet on me; no way to find out what it islet it go. That disposes of the indeterminable quantities; the remainder of the matter is tangible, solid, and may be classed and labeled with certainty. If I ask the Bank of England to place this bill to the credit of the man it belongs to, they
26、ll do it, for they know him, although I dont; but they will ask me how I came in possession of it, and if I tell the truth, theyll put me in the asylum, naturally, and a lie will land me in jail. The same result would follow if I tried to bank the bill anywhere or to borrow money on it. I have got t
27、o carry this immense burden around until those men come back, whether I want to or not. It is useless to me, as useless as a handful of ashes, and yet I must take care of it, and watch over it, while I beg my living. I couldnt give it away, if I should try, for neither honest citizen nor highwayman
28、would accept it or meddle with it for anything. Those brothers are safe. Even if I lose their bill, or burn it, they are still safe, because they can stop payment, and the Bank will make them whole; but meantime Ive got to do a months suffering without wages or profitunless I help win that bet, what
29、ever it may be, and get that situation that I am promised. I should like to get that; men of their sort have situations in their gift that are worth having. I got to thinking a good deal about that situation. My hopes began to rise high. Without doubt the salary would be large. It would begin in a m
30、onth; after that I should be all right. Pretty soon I was feeling first- rate. By this time I was tramping the streets again. The sight of a tailor-shop gave me a sharp longing to shed my rags, and to clothe myself decently once more. Could I afford it? No; I had nothing in the world but a million p
31、ounds. So I forced myself to go on by. But soon I was drifting back again. The temptation persecuted me cruelly. I must have passed that shop back and forth six times during that manful struggle. At last I gave in; I had to. I asked if they had a misfit suit that had been thrown on their hands. The
32、fellow I spoke to nodded his head towards another fellow, and gave me no answer. I went to the indicated fellow, and he indicated another fellow with his head, and no words. I went to him, and he said: “Tend to you presently.“ I waited till he was done with what he was at, then he took me into a bac
33、k room, and overhauled a pile of rejected suits, and selected the rattiest one for me. I put it on. It didnt fit, and wasnt in any way attractive, but it was new, and I was anxious to have it; so I didnt find any fault, but said, with some diffidence: “It would be an accommodation to me if you could
34、 wait some days for the money. I havent any small change about me.“ The fellow worked up a most sarcastic expression of countenance, and said: “Oh, you havent? Well, of course, I didnt expect it. Id only expect gentlemen like you to carry large change.“ I was nettled, and said: “My friend, you shoul
35、dnt judge a stranger always by the clothes he wears. I am quite able to pay for this suit; I simply didnt wish to put you to the trouble of changing a large note.“ The proprietor took a look, gave a low, eloquent whistle, then made a dive for the pile of rejected clothing, and began to snatch it thi
36、s way and that, talking all the time excitedly, and as if to himself: “Sell an eccentric millionaire such an unspeakable suit as that! Tods a foola born fool. Always doing something like this. Drives every millionaire away from this place, because he cant tell a millionaire from a tramp, and never c
37、ould. Ah, heres the thing I am after. Please get those things off, sir, and throw them in the fire. Do me the favor to put on this shirt and this suit; its just the thing, the very thingplain, rich, modest, and just ducally nobby; made to order for a foreign princeyou may know him, sir, his Serene H
38、ighness the Hospodar of Halifax; had to leave it with us and take a mourning-suit because his mother was going to die which she didnt. But thats all right; we cant always have things the way wethat is, the way theythere! trousers all right, they fit you to a charm, sir; now the waistcoat; aha, right
39、 again! now the coatlord! Look at that, now! Perfectthe whole thing! I never saw such a triumph in all my experience.“ I expressed my satisfaction. “Quite right, sir, quite right; itll do for a makeshift, Im bound to say. But wait till you see what well get up for you on your own measure. Come, Tod,
40、 book and pen; get at it. Length of leg, 32“and so on. Before I could get in a word he had measured me, and was giving orders for dress-suits, morning suits, shirts, and all sorts of things. When I got a chance I said: “But, my dear sir, I cant give these orders, unless you can wait indefinitely, or
41、 change the bill.“ “Indefinitely! Its a weak word, sir, a weak word. Eternallythats the word, sir. Tod, rush these things through, and send them to the gentlemans address without any waste of time. Let the minor customers wait. Set down the gentlemans address and“ “Im changing my quarters. I will dr
42、op in and leave the new address.“ “Quite right, sir, quite right. One momentlet me show you out, sir. Theregood day, sir, good day.“ Well, dont you see what was bound to happen? I drifted naturally into buying whatever I wanted, and asking for change. Within a week I was sumptuously equipped with al
43、l needful comforts and luxuries, and was housed in an expensive private hotel in Hanover Square. I took my dinners there, but for breakfast I stuck by Harriss humble feeding house, where I had got my first meal on my million-pound bill. I was the making of Harris. The fact had gone all abroad that t
44、he foreign crank who carried million-pound bills in his vest pocket was the patron saint of the place. That was enough. From being a poor, struggling, little hand-to-mouth enterprise, it had become celebrated, and overcrowded with customers. Harris was so grateful that he forced loans upon me, and w
45、ould not be denied; and so, pauper as I was, I had money to spend, and was living like the rich and the great. I judged that there was going to be a crash by and by, but I was in now and must swim across or drown. You see there was just that element of impending disaster to give a serious side, a so
46、ber side, yes, a tragic side, to a state of things which would otherwise have been purely ridiculous. In the night, in the dark, the tragedy part was always to the front, and always warning, always threatening; and so I moaned and tossed, and sleep was hard to find. But in the cheerful daylight the
47、tragedy element faded out and disappeared, and I walked on air, and was happy to giddiness, to intoxication, you may say. You know, I even kept my old suit of rags, and every now and then appeared in them, so as to have the old pleasure of buying trifles, and being insulted, and then shooting the sc
48、offer dead with the million- pound bill. But I couldnt keep that up. The illustrated papers made the outfit so familiar that when I went out in it I was at once recognized and followed by a crowd, and if I attempted a purchase the man would offer me his whole shop on credit before I could pull my no
49、te on him. About the tenth day of my fame I went to fulfil my duty to my flag by paying my respects to the American minister. He received me with the enthusiasm proper in my case, upbraided me for being so tardy in my duty, and said that there was only one way to get his forgiveness, and that was to take the seat at his dinner-party that night made vacant by the illness of one of his guests. I said I would, and we got to talking. It turned out that he and my father had been schoolmates in boyhood, Yale students together la
