1、You better get married soon.2Youre starting to look old.3My dad has been saying that to me since I was 15.4because nice Greek girls are supposed to do three things in life.5Marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone.6until the day we die.7When I was growing up, I knew I was different.8Th
2、e other girls were blond and delicate.9And I was a swarthy 6-year-old with sideburns.10I so badly wanted to be like the popular girls.11all sitting together, talking.12eating their Wonder Bread sandwiches.13Whats that?14Its moussaka.15Moose ka-ka?16And while the pretty girls got to go to Brownies.17
3、I had to go to Greek school.18At Greek school, I learned valuable lessons like.19“If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?“20My mom was always cooking foods filled with warmth and wisdom.21and never forgetting that side dish of steaming-hot guilt.22Niko, dont play with the
4、food.23When I was your age, we didnt have food.24- Ma? - What?25Why do I have to go to Greek school?26When you get married, dont you want to be able to write your mother-in-law a letter?27Niko, come on, eat!28We lived in a normal, middle-class Chicago neighborhood of tasteful, modest homes.29Our hou
5、se, however, was modeled after the Parthenon.30complete with Corinthian columns, and guarded by statues of the gods.31In case the neighbors had any doubts about our heritage.32they could just check out our subtle tribute to the Greek flag.33My dad believed in only two things.34that Greeks should edu
6、cate non-Greeks about being Greek.35and that any ailment, from psoriasis to poison ivy, could be cured with Windex.36Six years later, I was 12. Athena, my older, perfect sister, was 15.37And my brother, Nick, was 11.38Every morning, my dad would lecture us on the “history of our people.39“the great
7、civilization, the Greeks. “40Now, name three things the Greeks did first.41Astronomy, philosophy, and democracy.42Bravo! Very good.43Now, give me a word.44any word.45and I show you, how the root of that word.46is Greek.47Sweet Lord, again.48How about “arachnophobia“?49“Arachna,“ that comes from the
8、Greek word for spider.50and “phobia“ is a phobia, it means “fear. “51So, “fear of spiders. “ There you go.52Okay, Mr. Portokalos, how about the word “kimono“?53- “Kimono. “ - Good one.54Kimono, kimono.55Of course, “kimono“ comes from the Greek word.56“cheimonas,“ which means “winter. “57So, what do
9、you wear in the wintertime.58to stay warm? A robe.59You see, “robe,“ “kimono. “ There you go.60- Bye-bye. - Goodbye, Mr. Portokalos.61Toula!62You should be proud to be Greek.63A couple more years went by.64and my dad brought his mother from Greece to live with us.65because we werent weird enough.66-
10、 Where is she going? - Mama, please!67The Greeks and the Turks friends now.68We told my grandma the war was over.69but she still slept with a knife under her pillow.70Stop hitting me!71Niko, be careful. She has a very mean punch.72Nice Greek girls who dont find a husband work in the family restauran
11、t.73So, here I am, day after day, year after year.74Thirty, and way past my expiration date.75My God. Its freezing.76Fotoula! You closed last night, youre opening this morning?77I have no life.78Fotoula, you talk to me sometime.79Ma, youre gonna make me swallow my tongue.80Toula! Is Nikki here?81Wha
12、ts up?82No, my Nikki. She was supposed to come over to curl my hairs.83Nick, did you check the meat before you signed for it?84- Dad checked it. - It better be fresh.85My brother has two jobs, to cook and to marry a Greek virgin.86Voula, have something to eat before you go to work.87If nagging was a
13、n Olympic sport, my Aunt Voula would have a gold medal.88Taki, you couldnt wait for me?89Sorry.90Sorry, sorry. Dont “sorry“ me.91Look at this. Rash. Somebody gave me the mati.92- Put some Windex on it. - Oh, Gus, please.93Voula! This works.94Last night, my toe was as big as my face.95Why you not wai
14、t for me?96Gus. He wants to talk.97Anyway, I tell her.98- I will send her to Greece to find somebody. - Shes not too old.99Shes okay.100In Greece.101dont tell anyone how old she is.102- She wont go. - She wont go?103Its like she dont want to get married.104Come on, boys. Go in there.105My sister mar
15、ried young and became a Greek baby-breeding machine.106Hey, guys. Come on, get out.107Just a quick coffee.108I have to drop the boys off at hockey and then I got to get to the Jewel.109- Bread? - Pantyhose are on for 99 cents.110Then the priest is coming to bless the new house, so I have to make dip
16、les.111Can you believe it? Im out of honey. Put that back for me.112You dropped my tzatziki.113- Angelo! - Nikki, shut up.114My cousins have two volumes, loud and louder.115.your big-ass girlfriend. Thanks, Toula.116Hey, Toula.117Were not that late.118Hi, everybody.119Nikki, how come you didnt come
17、to curl my hair this morning?120Ma, I had to drop Dimo at work.121Now I got to go open the travel agency, because some jack-off.122and his big-ass girlfriend are too busy.123Tell her I open up the cleaners every day. Its time she does something for a change.124You know whos there this morning?125- Y
18、oure always at the beauty parlor. - My husband.126- Your nails, hair, everything. - Dont talk about my hair.127Youre lazy. You and your big-ass girlfriend do nothing.128Did somebody sit on your hair? It looks a little flat.129Angelo, bite me.130Disgusting, be a lady.131Ma.132Angelo.133Ande. Come on,
19、 boys. Lets go.134- Athena, when did you come? - Hi, Ma. Bye, Ma.135Youre going?136Im going to the Jewel. Ill get you some pantyhose.137No queen size. They make me look fat.138No more fun and games.139I didnt do it!140Who put the menus there?141Toula, whats this?142Toula, what is this?143- I dont kn
20、ow. - Mama.144Now dont forget, I need the plates and-145And the pizza for the buffet. You told me at dinner. Go. My God.146All right, were gonna go.147- I wanna drive. - Youre driving me crazy, lets go.148Just watch. Dont run.149- To me, she looks okay. - Okay? What okay? Nokay.150Shes not okay. Loo
21、k. Athena is married with three children.151And Ill get married, Pops, I promise.152You have plenty of time, Niko.153And youll always have Toula to run the restaurant.154Its true. Toula will never leave you.155I wish I had a different life.156I wish I was braver and prettier.157or just happy.158But
22、its useless to dream, because nothing ever changes.159- Hey, whats going on? - Hi. How are you?160- Good. You? - Oh, good.161- Cool place. - Yeah, its adorable.162You missed a hell of a party the other night.163Look at that.164That could have been you with that arm around her.165You set me up with h
23、er already.166- Nancy? - Hansons picnic.167No, that was Pamela. This is Nancy.168They look the same.169Well, maybe.170So, you want me to set you up?171Theyre all the same, Mike.172- Hi. - Hi.173Sorry, my brain stopped.174You ever have one of those days, when its going along and then stops?175Here I
24、am, standing here, your own private Greek statue.176- Could I get some more coffee, please? - Sure.177Thank you.178All right, lets go.179- What do you mean? I just got here. - I got a class.180I love the spice on these potatoes. What is that?181Like I care. Come on.182Giving a pop quiz, and I cant w
25、ait to hear the groans.183Man, youre tough.184Im giving a test on Hamlet, but I give fair warning.185Hi.186Keep the change.187You like this, Pops? For the new menu?188- Where did you get that? - I drew it, Dad.189Dad, Ive been going through our inventory.190and Ive noticed that weve been doing a lot
26、 of unnecessary ordering.191Ive been thinking that maybe we should update our system.192We could get a computer.193I dont know if you remember, but I got all As in Computers.194But theres a lot of new stuff to learn now.195so, if you want, I could go to college and take a few courses.196Why?197Why y
27、ou want to leave me?198Im not leaving you.199Dont you want me to do something with my life?200Yes! Get married! Make babies!201You look so old!202Hey, Toula. Come on.203I know what you want.204You have, how you say, a spirit.205You want to see things. You want to learn.206I know, youre from my side.
28、207Come on. Dont you worry. Im gonna talk to him.208Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes.209“The man is the head of the house. “210Let me tell you something, Toula.211The man is the head, but the woman is the neck.212And she can turn the head any way she wants.213My baby.214Dont cry. Come on.215And
29、 what is wrong with Toula going to school downtown?216They use drugs downtown.217What are you saying? Are you saying that Toula will get involved with drugs?218No, but somebody will say to her:219“Take this bag down to the bus depot,“ and shell do it.220Shes not stupid. Shes smart.221I know shes sma
30、rt, so what for she needs more school?222Shes smart enough for a girl.223You think youre smarter than me?224No, I mean, you know-225What? What do you mean?226I run the restaurant, I cook, I clean.227I wash for you, and I raised three kids.228and I teach Sunday school.229You know, its lucky for me I
31、have you to tie my shoes.230Maria.231- Is this seat taken? - Sure.232Hi.233Thats what I want to talk to you about.234- Look at you. What are you talking about? - What?235I dont like my butt. Taki likes it.236I wont pretend the travel industry is something Ive always wanted to do.237Im not gonna pret
32、end that, but Im saying that its different.238You know Ive been learning about computers?239Theres this course, a seminar.240Its all about computers and tourism.241There are all the latest applications and programs.242I could apply it here, Thia. And your business would double or triple.243You could
33、 be with Thio more, and you could take a vacation.244I could book it for you. But, Thia, would you hire me?245Of course.246My God!247We must let Kosta think this was his idea, that he came up with it.248- Ma, hell figure it out. - Dont worry.249- I know what to do. - You dont know what to do, you ta
34、lk.250Do you want my help? Tell me what to say, but dont tell me what to say.251- Perfect. - Thats good.252So, Voula. How is business?253Woe to me. Business is bad.254Whats the matter? What happened? Do you need money?255No, what she means is that, with the two businesses, she suffers.256She suffers
35、. She has to be at the travel agency alone, all day.257because everybody else needs to be working at the big dry-cleaning store.258Thats right. I make Taki go to the dry-cleaner store.259and now I have no time with him.260So, send Angelo or Nikki.261to the travel agency, you be with Taki at the dry
36、cleaner.262- That would be good. - That would be no good.263Because.264neither Angelo nor Nikki know how to use the computer.265Thats why that no work.266Computer?267I have your answer.268Toula will go to the travel agency.269and you send Nikki here to work for us.270I cant believe this.271Wonderful
37、.272You see, a man.273Youre just so smart, I love you.274Bravo!275Hello, Mrs. Christakis. Thanks for holding.276Okay, your request pulled up “confirmed,“ so it is now PNRd.277Hold again, please. Hi, British Airways. Im gonna need a hard tick on that one.278Reading, Alpha, Bravo, Foxtrot, Charlie. Ro
38、ger, copy that.279Hi, Mrs. Christakis, your tickets are now in the mail.280under “Doreen Christakis. “ Okay, thank you, bye-bye.281Come on down!282Youre the next contestant on The Price is Right!283I got it.284Did you lose this?285Oh, Mrs. White. You find my mama again.286You know, she come from Gre
39、ece, the country I come from, too.287For Gods sake, I know.288Listen, keep your mother off my lawn.289out of my basement and away from my roof.290Mrs. White, come on. Give me a word, any word.291and Ill show you that the root of that word.292is Greek.293Look, everybody. Look whos back again.294Sit d
40、own, Yiayia. Very good.295Toula, there are two kinds of people.296Greeks, and everybody else who wish they were Greek.297Okay. Yes, we know.298Whats the matter with her?299Hi, Mount Olympus Travel Agency. May I help you?300Sure. Thats what we do.301What are you doing? Wait!302Absolutely. Right.303So
41、rry, lady.304Sure.305You can book it now.306I could reserve the seat for you. Be with you in a second.307That would be no problem. Call me back when youre ready. Bye-bye.308Hi.309Hi.310Did you wanna see some brochures?311Found them.312Look at this.313And then, whoosh, you were gone. I thought youd f
42、ainted.314Okay.315Yeah.316I was swept off of my feet by your very cool opening line of “hi. “317So, Toula?318Ian.319Ian Miller.320Toula Porkipakos?321Portokalos.322- Okay, Toula. - All right, then.323Was that a biker fight or a nose job?324Yeah.325No, really.326You dont wanna know.327I dont know abo
43、ut that. If Id survived an old-lady ass-kicking, Id brag about it.328Hey, Jesus! Ouch!329- You want to have dinner with me? - Yeah.330Actually, I wasnt in education first, I was prelaw.331My dads a lawyer and my grandfather is a lawyer and.332it just wasnt for me, so I picked a new major.333The pare
44、nts werent too pleased, you know?334Yeah.335I think it.336I think it takes a pretty strong person to do that.337Well, you know everything about me, then.338Im a pretty strong, vegetarian teacher.339over at Lincoln Park.340I dont know anything about you, except youre Greek.341Hey.342would you like to
45、 go have Greek food?343No, thats okay.344No, listen. I know this really great place, you probably know it, Zorbas something.345Anyway, Id like to take you there, if youd like to go.346- I dont wanna go there. - What do you mean? Why not?347That place.348Dancing Zorbas.349Dancing Zorbas.350My family
46、owns that restaurant.351Really?352I remember you.353Youre that waitress.354Seating hostess, actually.355I remember you.356I was kind of going through a phase.357up until now.358And.359I was Frump Girl.360I dont remember Frump Girl, but I remember you.361Okay, no Greek. Italian? Tomorrow night?362Oka
47、y.363Where are you going?364Im taking a pottery class.365The Greeks invented pottery.366So, it was just me, all alone.367up in the mountains in this cottage, with my parents, all summer.368Well, dont all your cousins go up, too?369No!370I only have two cousins. They live in Wisconsin.371- You only h
48、ave two cousins? - Yeah.372- How many do you have? - More than two.373Well, who else?374Didnt you have brothers and sisters? What are your parents like?375What?376Well.377Okay, Christmas.378What do you do for Christmas with your family?379My mom makes roast lamb.380- With mint jelly? - No.381And?382
49、And.383- Im Greek, right? - Right.384So what happens is my dad and my uncles.385fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain.386And them my Aunt Voula forks the eyeball, and chases me around.387trying to make me eat it, because itll make me smart.388You have two cousins. I have 27 first cousins.389Just 27 first cousins, alone.390And my whole family is big and loud.391and everybodys always in each others lives and business.392You never have a minute alone to just thin
