1、此资料由网络收集而来，如有侵权请告知上传者立即删除。资料共分享，我们负责传递知识。TED英语演讲：脆弱不是懦弱与脆弱相比，羞耻(shame)，是一个更加让人觉得恐怖的话题。实际上光谈论这个话题就足以勾起人的羞耻感。下面是小编为大家收集关于TED英语演讲：脆弱不是懦弱，欢迎借鉴参考。TED演讲：脆弱不是懦弱，而是衡量勇气最准确的标尺演讲者：Brené Brown演讲稿I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk. I woke up the morning after I gave that tal
2、k with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life. And I actually didn't leave my house for about three days.The first time I left was to meet a friend for lunch. And when I walked in, she was already at the table. I sat down, and she said, "God, you look like hell." I said, "Tha
3、nks. I feel really - I'm not functioning." And she said, "What's going on?" And I said, "I just told 500 people that I became a researcher to avoid vulnerability. And that when being vulnerable emerged from my data, as absolutely essential to whole-hearted living, I told
4、these 500 people that I had a breakdown. I had a slide that said 'Breakdown.' At what point did I think that was a good idea?"And she said, "I saw your talk live-streamed. It was not really you. It was a little different than what you usually do. But it was great."And I said,
5、"This can't happen. YouTube, they're putting this thing on YouTube. And we're going to be talking about 600, 700 people."And she said, "Well, I think it's too late."And I said, "Let me ask you something." And she said, "Yeah." I said, "Do
6、you remember when we were in college, really wild and kind of dumb?" She said, "Yeah." I said, "Remember when we'd leave a really bad message on our ex-boyfriend's answering machine?Then we'd have to break into his dorm room and then erase the tape?"And she goes,
7、 "Uh. no."Of course, the only thing I could say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. Yeah - me neither."And I'm thinking to myself, "Brené, what are you doing? Why did you bring this up? Have you lost your mind? Your sisters would be perfect for this."So I l
8、ooked back up and she said, "Are you really going to try to break in and steal the video before they put it on YouTube?"And I said, "I'm just thinking about it a little bit."She said, "You're like the worst vulnerability role model ever."Then I looked at her and
9、 I said something that at the time felt a little dramatic, but ended up being more prophetic than dramatic. "If 500 turns into 1,000 or 2,000, my life is over."I had no contingency plan for four million.And my life did end when that happened. And maybe the hardest part about my life ending
10、 is that I learned something hard about myself, and that was that, as much as I would be frustrated about not being able to get my work out to the world, there was a part of me that was working very hard to engineer staying small, staying right under the radar. But I want to talk about what I've
11、 learned.There's two things that I've learned in the last year. The first is: vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.Let me ask you honestly - and I'll give you this warning, I'm trained as a therapist, so I can out-wait you uncomfortably - so if you cou
12、ld just raise your hand that would be awesome - how many of you honestly, when you're thinking about doing or saying something vulnerable think, "God, vulnerability is weakness." How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously? The majority of people. Now let me ask yo
13、u this question: This past week at TED, how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here, thought it was pure courage? Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives. And I've come to the belief - this is my 12th year d
14、oing this research - that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage - to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.One of the weird things that's happened is, after the TED explosion, I got a lot of offers to speak all over the country - everyone from schools and pare
15、nt meetings to Fortune 500 companies. And so many of the calls went like this, "Dr. Brown, we loved your TED talk.We'd like you to come in and speak. We'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention vulnerability or shame."What would you like for me to talk about? There's three b
16、ig answers. This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector:innovation, creativity and change.So let me go on the record and say, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.To create is to make something that has never existed before. There's nothing mor
17、e vulnerable than that. Adaptability to change is all about vulnerability.The second thing, in addition to really finally understanding the relationship between vulnerability and courage, the second thing I learned, is this: We have to talk about shame. And I'm going to be really honest with you
18、. When I became a "vulnerability researcher"and that became the focus because of the TED talk - and I'm not kidding.I'll give you an example. About three months ago, I was in a sporting goods store buying goggles and shin guards and all the things that parents buy at the sporting g
19、oods store. About from a hundred feet away, this is what I hear: "Vulnerability TED! Vulnerability TED!"I'm a fifth-generation Texan. Our family motto is "Lock and load." I am not a natural vulnerability researcher. So I'm like, just keep walking, she's on my six.And
20、then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!" I turn around, I go, "Hi." She's right here and she said, "You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown."At this point, parents are, like, pulling their children close."Look away." And I'm so worn out at this
21、point in my life, I look at her and I actually say, "It was a fricking spiritual awakening."And she looks back and does this, "I know."And she said, "We watched your TED talk in my book club. Then we read your book and we renamed ourselves 'The Breakdown Babes.'"
22、;And she said, "Our tagline is: 'We're falling apart and it feels fantastic.'"You can only imagine what it's like for me in a faculty meeting.So when I became Vulnerability TED, like an action figure - Like Ninja Barbie, but I'm Vulnerability TED - I thought, I'm go
23、ing to leave that shame stuff behind, because I spent six years studying shame before I started writing and talking about vulnerability. And I thought, thank God, because shame is this horrible topic, no one wants to talk about it. It's the best way to shut people down on an airplane."What
24、do you do?" "I study shame." "Oh."And I see you.But in surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule - not a research rule, but a moral imperative from my upbringing -"you've got to dance with the one who brung ya". And I did not learn about vulne
25、rability and courage and creativity and innovation from studying vulnerability. I learned about these things from studying shame. And so I want to walk you in to shame. Jungian analysts call shame the swampland of the soul. And we're going to walk in. And the purpose is not to walk in and constr
26、uct a home and live there. It is to put on some galoshes - and walk through and find our way around. Here's why.We heard the most compelling call ever to have a conversation in this country, and I think globally, around race, right? Yes? We heard that. Yes? Cannot have that conversation without
27、shame. Because you cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. We heard a brilliant simple solution to not killing people in surgery,which is, have a checklist. You can't fix that problem without addressing s
28、hame, because when they teach those folks how to suture,they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth to being all-powerful. And all-powerful folks don't need checklists.And I had to write down the name of this TED Fellow so I didn't mess it up here. Myshkin Ingawale, I hope I did righ
29、t by you.I saw the TED Fellows my first day here. And he got up and he explained how he was driven to create some technology to help test for anemia, because people were dying unnecessarily. And he said, "I saw this need. So you know what I did? I made it." And everybody just burst into ap
30、plause, and they were like "Yes!" And he said, "And it didn't work.And then I made it 32 more times, and then it worked."You know what the big secret about TED is? I can't wait to tell people this. I guess I'm doing it right now.This is like the failure conference.No,
31、 it is.You know why this place is amazing? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not failed. I've failed miserably, many times. I don't think the world understands that, because of shame.There's a great quote tha
32、t saved me this past year by Theodore Roosevelt. A lot of people refer to it as the "Man in the Arena" quote.And it goes like this: "It is not the critic who counts. It is not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better and how he falls and stum
33、bles. The credit goes to the man in the arena whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat. But when he's in the arena, at best, he wins, and at worst, he loses, but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly."And that's what this conference, to me, is about. Life is
34、about daring greatly, about being in the arena. When you walk up to that arena and you put your hand on the door, and you think, "I'm going in and I'm going to try this," shame is the gremlin who says, "Uh, uh.You're not good enough. You never finished that MBA. Your wife
35、left you. I know your dad really wasn't in Luxembourg, he was in Sing Sing. I know those things that happened to you growing up. I know you don't think that you're pretty, smart, talented or powerful enough. I know your dad never paid attention, even when you made CFO." Shame is tha
36、t thing.And if we can quiet it down and walk in and say, "I'm going to do this," we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing, 99 percent of the time is who? Us. Shame drives two big tapes - "never good enough" - and, if you can talk it out of that one, "w
37、ho do you think you are?" The thing to understand about shame is, it's not guilt. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad." How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing t
38、o say, "I'm sorry. I made a mistake?" How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake.There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here's what you need to know. Shame is highly, highly correlat
39、ed with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here's what you even need to know more. Guilt, inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. I
40、t's uncomfortable, but it's adaptive.The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame. We're pretty sure that the
41、only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy. Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath. So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame. Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.For women
42、, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial. "I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man." For women, shame is, do it all, d
43、o it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be.
44、 And it's a straight-jacket.For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as what? Weak. I did not interview men for the first four years of my study. It wasn't until a man looked at me after a book signing, and said, "I love wha
45、t say about shame, I'm curious why you didn't mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said, "That's convenient."And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because you say to reach out, tell our story, be vulnerable. But you see those books
46、you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said, "Yeah." "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and t
47、he dads. Because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."So I started interviewing men and asking questions. And what I learned is this: You show me a woman who can actually sit with a manin real vulnerability and fear, I'll show you a woman who's done incredible work. Y
48、ou show me a man who can sit with a woman who's just had it, she can't do it all anymore, and his first response is not, "I unloaded the dishwasher!"But he really listens - because that's all we need - I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work.Shame is an epidemic in
49、 our culture. And to get out from underneath it - to find our way back to each other, we have to understand how it affects us and how it affects the way we're parenting, the way we're working, the way we're looking at each other. Very quickly, some research by Mahalik at Boston College. He asked, what do women need to do to conform to fem
