1、1从黄西（Joe Wong）脱口秀演讲 ，看美式幽默和美国人的包容黄西（Joe Wong） ，曾在中国科学院攻读硕士，后获得德克萨斯州莱斯大学博士学位，全职工作从事科学研究。美国深夜节目收视率冠军的“大卫赖特曼秀” ，2009 年 4 月 17 日晚上破天荒邀请中国口音极重的黄西(Joe Wong)亮相，以英语讲美式笑话，近六分钟的演出，观众反应热烈。黄西一炮而红。美式幽默强调的是是双关语的巧用，前后文包袱的对接，还有对现在问题的嘲讽，joe wang 的幽默在于每个段子简短但是需要观众思考并且前后的段子对接起来就了不起了，很连贯。黄西脱口秀视频精选全集 2011-12-08 一个来自中国的生
2、化博士，居然能在美国破天荒靠讲笑话脱口秀成为一名笑星，不得不令人佩服！用黄西自己的话说就是“他在美国比中国唯一的好处就是浑身散发着异域的光芒。 ”你是笑星黄西的粉丝吗？黄西（Joe Wong）在 2010 年美国记者年会上的脱口秀视频黄西 Joe Wong on the Late Show 视频(字幕版黄西“人生大不同”复旦公益演讲视频黄西 Joe Wong 在美国 Ellen Show 讲笑话视频2011ZhenPitch-特别嘉宾黄西即兴脱口秀视频黄西 Joe Wong 再度登上 “Late Show”视频(双语字幕美国的著名脱口秀节目主持人 Ellen Degeneres 毕业演讲Joe
3、 Wong(黄西)在美国记者年会上的脱口秀(very funny) 2010-03-31Good evening everyone, my name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as “Who?“ which is actually my mothers maiden name and the answer to my credit card security question.各位晚上好，我是 Joe Wong（黄西） 。但是对你们中的很多人来说，听到我的名字，你们会问“谁啊？” （注意看他说这句话时侯的表情） ，who （同音“胡
4、” ）恰恰是我妈妈出嫁前的姓，这也是我信用卡密码问题的答案。 （和很多网站注册一样，美国的信用卡也会设置密码问题，比如“你妈妈姓什么” ， “你家小狗叫什么” ）But joking aside I just want to reassure everybody that I AM invited here tonight.但是玩笑归玩笑，我想要提醒大家我的确是受到邀请而来的（他重读了 I am 的am） （这里是讽刺 Salah 的夫妇闯入白宫晚宴的新闻，大家可以搜索 Michaele and Tareq Salahi）I grew up in China. Who didnt? And m
5、y childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I had to work in a rice paddy right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that was when I learned light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as
6、a flying rock. My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would cheer me up with jokes. But he doesnt do it right. When I was seven one day he said to me, “Hey, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?“ So five minutes later I 2said “why?“ He said because I said so!我从小在中国长大。谁不是呢
7、？（这是讽刺美国人的自大，以为世界只有一个美国）而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。 （这句话可能是和后面的炸药玩笑有关）读小学的时侯，作为课程的一部分，我不得不去一个稻田里劳动，这稻田的旁边就是一个采石场，在那里他们用炸药来炸开石头。也就是在那个时侯，我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快，声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。我爸爸是的脾气很暴躁，但是有些时侯他会用笑话来鼓励我。可是他的表达方式有问题。当我还是七岁的时侯，有一天他对我说， “嘿，儿子，为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好？”我想了五分钟，然后问他“为什么呢？” ，他说“因为我说好就是好！” （这段笑点在：豆腐，计划经济，极端的父权。豆
8、腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性，就好像这种“我说了算”的父权也很不可理喻，让人又好气又好笑）I came to the United States in, when I was twenty four to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasnt a joke, until now.我 24 岁的时侯来到美国，在 Texas 的 Rice University 求学。 （下面的观众在笑。）我不是在讲笑话，不过现在是了。And I was driving this used car that had a lot of bump sticker
9、s that were impossible to peel off. One of them said “If you dont speak English, go home“. And I didnt know this for two years.我当时开了辆二手车，保险杠上贴了好多贴纸（就类似于我们贴的“注意有熊出没”那种） ，那些贴纸贴的很牢，根本没可能撕下来。其中一张写着“如果你不会说英文，那就回家去” 。而我连着两年都没看懂这句话。And like many other immigrants, we all want our son to the become the presi
10、dent of this country and we are trying to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home, English in the public, which is really tough to do because many times I have to say to him in public, “hey, listen, if you dont speak English, go home.“ And he would say to me, “hey dad, why do I have to learn t
11、wo languages?“ I said， “son, once you become the president of the United State, you are gonna have to sign the legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese.“和很多其他的移民一样，我们都希望自己的儿子能成为这个国家的总统，于是我们努力让他们说两种语言，在家说中文，在外说英文，真的操作起来其实挺困难，很多时侯我不得不对他说“嘿，听着，如果你不说英文，就给我回家去。”（这段对应了他上文说的汽车贴纸
12、的笑话）我儿子总是会问我“爸爸，为什么我一定要说两种语言呢？”我告诉他：“儿子，一旦有一天你成为了美国总统，你就必须要用英文来签署立法议案，然后用中文跟债主们讨论债务问题。 ”（这段经地主大人提醒：讲到用中文讨论债务时，你看底下美国人反应并不剧烈，只有部分人狂笑，因为美国人压根儿不知道，中国是他们的大债主。 ）When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the United States because in China, I cant do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. And in or
13、der for me to become a US citizen, I had to take these American history lessons, where they ask us questions like “Who is Benjamin Franklin?“ I was like “Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?“ “What is the second amendment?“ I was like “Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?“
14、“What is Roe versus Wade?“ I was like “Ah, two ways of coming to the United States?“ Later on, I read so much about American 3history that I started to harbor white guilt.从 Rice 毕业后，我决定留在美国，因为在中国，我做不到我在这里做的最好的事情-成为一名外来民族。而为了让我自己成为一名美国公民，我必须学习美国的历史，于是就有被问到诸如“谁是 Benjamin Franklin?”我只能：“啊！这莫非就是我们便利店遭抢劫
15、的原因？” （Benjamin Franklin 的头像被印在百元美钞上。 ） “什么是第二修正案？”我只能：“啊！这莫非就是我们便利店遭抢劫的原因？” （第二修正案允许合法拥有枪支） “Roe vs. Wade 是什么？” “啊！来到美国的两种途径？” （Roe vs.Wade 是一个著名的堕胎官司，最高法院因此判定堕胎合法化。他在这里则是说那些偷渡到美国的人，要不就是通过 row a boat（划船，和人名 Roe 同音）,要不就是靠游到河对岸（wade 是跋涉的意思） ）后来了解了更多的美国历史，我开始为自己是白人而有了负罪感。 （white guilt是指身为白人，因为种族偏见而有负罪
16、感。但很明显他不是白人，他不应该会有这样的负罪感。 ）And in America they say that all men are created equal. But after birth, it kind of depends on parents income for early education and health care. I read in the Mens Health magazine that President Obama, every week, has two cardio days and four weight lifting days. You see
17、 I dont have to excise, because I have health insurance. I live in Massachusetts now, where we have Universal Health Care. Then we elected Scott Brown. Talk about mixed messages. I think there was a movie about him. Its called Kill Bill.在美国，大家都说人生来是平等的。但是出生后，那就取决于父母收入所能给予你的早期教育和健康医疗。我在 Mens Health 杂
18、志里看到奥巴马总统每周有两次心脏检查，四次举重锻炼。你们看，我根本不需要锻炼，因为我有健康保险。 （这是是在嘲讽美国的健康医疗体系）我现在住在马塞诸塞州，在那里我们有 Universal Health Care（某种医疗保险） 。然后我们选了 Scott Brown 做了州长，他反对现有的医疗制度。我想到了一部电影很适合他，就是杀死比尔 （Kill Bill） 。 （bill 在英文里有议案的意思，这里讽刺州长否决议案）I am honored to meet Vice president Joe Biden here tonight. I actually read your autobio
19、graphy. And today I see you. I think the book is much better. They should have cast Brad Pitt, or even Angelina Jolie.我很荣幸今晚能见到副总统 Joe Biden。事实上，我曾经读过你的自传。今天见到你了，我觉得书写的比本人要好的多（然后镜头就给了副总统，副总统笑的哈开心） （后面提到了 Brad Pitt 和 Angelina Jolie，但当中那个单词 cast 不确定）So to be honest, I was really honored to be here ton
20、ight and I prepared for months for tonight show and I show the white house and the jokes about President Obama, that was when he decided not to come. And he started to talk about immigration reforms. Take that, Steven Colbert.坦率的说，我真的很荣幸今天能来到这里，为了今晚的节目我也已经准备了好几个月了。我还把关于奥巴马总统的笑话呈给白宫看，于是奥巴马总统就在那一刻决定不出
21、席今天的晚会。接着他就开始谈论移民改革了。Steven Colbert, 你看人家够狠吧。 （Steve 是专攻政治人物访谈的主持人，布什就对他很害怕，而奥巴马索性就不参加他的节目）And President Obama has always been accused of being too soft. But he was 4conducting two wars, and they still gave him the Nobel Peace prize. And he accepted it. You cant be more badass than that. Well actual
22、ly, I am thinking the only way you can be more badass than that is if you take the Nobel Peace Prize money and give it to the military.奥巴马总统被指责太过于软弱。尽管他正在发动两场战争，他还是获得了诺贝尔和平奖。而他也接受了。怎么可能有比这更混蛋的事情。好吧，事实上，我在想，唯一有可能比这个更混蛋的事情，就是你接受了诺贝尔和平奖的奖金，然后把它们派发给军队。We have many distinguished journalists here, whom I
23、consider as my peers because I used to write for campus newspaper. I think journalism is the last refuge for puns. Only on the newspaper can you say things like “I was born in the year of the horse, that is why I am a naysayer.“ My point exactly.我们这里坐着很多出类拔萃的新闻记者，我把你们看作是我的同行，因为我曾经也为校刊写过文章。我觉得新闻业是双关语
24、最后的避难所。只有在报纸上你才能说类似于“我出生在马年，这就是为什么我爱唱反调。 ”（美国人形容马叫的象声词是 neigh，发音和 nay 一样，naysayer 就是 no sayer，总是说不，总是唱反调的人）这就是我要表达的意思。And tonight is my first time on C-span, which is a channel I obviously always watch when I couldnt stand the sensationalism and demagoguery of PBS and QVC. If I still couldnt fall as
25、leep after watching C-span, there is C-span 2 and C-span 3. Thank you very much.今晚是我第一次来到 C-span 频道，通常当我无法忍受 PBS 和 QVC 的鼓吹与煽动时我就会选择看你们的频道（PBS 的节目以主观著称，QVC 则是购物频道，说这段的时侯镜头给了下面人一个特写，莫非是这两个频道的老板？） 。如果我看了 C-span 还是睡不着，那还有 C-span 2 和 C-span 3（C-span 频道总是会转播一些无聊的国会辩论） 。非常感谢！So I became a US citizen in 200
26、8, which I am really happy about. Thank you very much. America is number one. That is true because we won the World Series every year. WS played between US baseball teams so US always wins. Great joke我在 2008 年成为了美国公民，为此我很高兴。 （下面观众鼓掌）非常感谢。美国永远是老大。这句话是真的，因为我们每年会赢 World Series（WS 是美国垒球队比赛，参赛的都是美国球队，所以无
27、论如何都是美国人赢。 ）After becoming a US citizen, I immediately registered vote for Obama/Biden. （pause, turn to Biden） You are welcome.You had me at “Yes we can“. That was their slogan. So after getting Obama/Biden elected, I felt this power trip. And I started to think maybe I should run for president myse
28、lf. Well I have to take a step back and explain a little bit. You know, cause I had always been a morose and pessimistic guy. I felt that life is kind of like peeing into the snow in a dark winter night. Youve probably made a difference but it is really hard to tell. But now we have a president who
29、is half black and half white. It just gives me a lot of hope. Because I am half not black, half not white. Two negatives make a positive. You maybe say even “hey, what will be your campaign slogan?“ You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade. Oh, you too? OK. So I understand that American people a
30、re suffering. So my campaign slogan will be “Who cares!“5成为美国公民后，我立刻登记了选票，把票投给而了奥巴马和拜登。 （他回头看着拜登，对拜登说）不用谢。你们的口号“是的，我们可以“ 征服了我。这是他们的口号。在奥巴马和拜登当选后，我感受到自己对权力的渴望。于是我开始想，或许我也可以竞选总统。好吧，我必须退回去解释一下。我其实一直是一个忧郁且悲观的人。我觉得生活就像是在漆黑的冬夜里往雪地上撒尿。你认为这么做有差别，但其实根本看不出来。但是现在我们有了一位半黑人血统半白人血统的总统。这给了我很大的希望。因为我一半不是黑人，一半不是白人。负
31、负得正。你或许会问：“嘿，那你的竞选口号会是什么？”你看，我花了 10年在过去 10 年里（decade 和 10 years 都是 10 年的意思） 。什么，你也是？好吧。所以我很理解美国人正经历的痛苦。所以，我的竞选口号将会是“胡在乎你！”（注意他发 hu 的时侯，故意读的像 who 一样，也就是 who cares， “谁会在乎你”的意思）If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal but required. That will get me the youth vote. You see I am married n
32、ow. I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like “wow, 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting forever.“如果我当选，我不但会把同性恋结婚合法化还会把它作为要求。这会帮助我赢得年轻人的选票。你们也知道我已经结婚了。我过去对婚姻是非常恐惧的。我会想：“哇噻，50的婚姻结局是大家要一辈子在一起。 ”And I will eliminated unemployment in this country by reducing the productivity of Americ
33、an work force. So two people will have to do the work of one, just like the president and the vice president, or the Olsen twins.我也会通过降低美国的生产率来消灭这个国家的失业率。所以必须让两个人做一个人能做的事，就好像总统与副总统，又或者是 Olsen 姐妹（她们是双胞胎，一起演真人秀，一起设计服装） 。And despite heart disease and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes. So if
34、elected, I will find a cure for natural causes. You seem to like that one, but it wont be covered by health insurance though, because of pre-existing conditions.扣除心脏病和癌症，大多数美国人是自然死亡的。所以如果我当选，我就要找出一种治愈自然死亡的疗法。你们看上去很期待这个，但是你们的医疗保险可不能报销，因为这是在保险前就有的毛病。And I have quick solution to global warming. If elec
35、ted, I will switch form Fahrenheit to Celsius. It was 100 degrees before. Now its forty. You are very welcome.我还有解决全球变暖的特效措施。如果我当选了，我就把华氏改成摄氏。这样以前的 100 度就会变成 40 度。And I am great with foreign policy. Because I am from China. And I can see Russia from my backyard. I believe that unilateralism is too e
36、xpensive and open dialogue is too slow. So if elected, I will go with text messaging. I will text our allies just to say hi, and text our enemies whenever they are driving. OMG, you are making a nuclear weapon? But you are doing it wrong, LOL.我也很擅长外交政策。因为我来自中国。我从我家后院就看得到俄罗斯（这里讽刺 Sarah Palin 曾经说“我从我家
37、门廊就看得到俄罗斯 “） 。我认为单边主义代价太高，公开对话效率太低。如果我当选，我会选择发送短信。我会发短信给我的联盟说 hi, 我会在敌人开车的时侯发消息给他们。OMG, 听说你们在造核武器？但是你们的做法不对，LOL（OMG 和 LOL 都是短信流行用语, OMG 是 Oh 6My God, LOL 是 Laugh Out Loud） 。2010 年 3 月的年会上，作为唯一受邀的谐星为总统和全国的媒体代表们表演 15 分钟的脱口秀。如何理解美式幽默-JOE WANG2010 年美国记者年会演讲把黄西最著名的那个段子分析一下，大家好好看看。My name is Joe Wong. But
38、 to most people, I am known as “Who?” which is actually my mothers maiden name, and the answer to my credit card security question.开场先是自嘲下自己默默无闻不为所知，然后利用中英文谐音，再联系到信用卡密码保护，因为网上注册时选择用于取回密码的验证问题里，最常见的就是妈妈的姓氏是什么。Joking aside, I want to reassure you that I am invited here tonight.因为前一阵子白宫举行一个活动，美国一对夫妻混过白
39、宫层层保安，装作是白宫邀请的贵宾，还跟这些政客合影留念并发到网上，其中就有坐在边上的副总统 Joe Biden，被曝光后，在美国引起很大争议，白宫的安保问题被质疑。I grew up in China. Who didnt?我在中国长大，谁不是呢？装作无知，认为每个人都是中国人，暗讽了一些美国人的自大，以为世界就是美国。Most of my childhood memories are ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I worked at a rice pa
40、ddy next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. Thats where I learned that light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock.主要是用生动而夸张的语言形容小时候生活环境的恶劣，光速比声速快，后者跟石头飞散的速度差不多，就是远处一道闪光，几秒后隆隆爆炸声伴着小石子飞溅过来。另外提到 rice paddy，呼应后文自己在 rice university 读 phd。My dad was a grum
41、py guy. But occasionally he tried to cheer me up with jokes. When I was 7 he said to me, “Son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?” 5 minutes later, I said, “Why?” He said, “Because I said so!”形容父亲脾气暴躁，毫无逻辑，颐指气使。5 分钟后是笑点，如此荒谬的问题还想了那么久。这两段就是夸张描述下自己的童年，因为跟美国人的经历完全不同，观众会因为新鲜荒谬而发笑。In
42、1994, I came to the United States to study at Rice University in Texas, that wasnt a joke, until now. I was driving this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, “If you dont speak English, go home!” And I didnt notice it for two years.that wasnt
43、a joke, until now.这句是临场发挥，效果很好，因为前面提到 rice paddy，所以强调一下这个不是笑话，是真的。bumper sticker 这个牌子的内容和所用的语言本身的矛盾是一个笑点。 We always wanted my son to become the president. We try to make him speak Chinese at home and English outside in public. Sometimes I had to say to him in 7public, “If you dont speak English, go
44、home!” He said, “Why do I have to learn two languages?” I said, “When you become the president, you will have to sign legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese!”此处用到了刚才 sticker 上的话；间接表达了中国是美国的债权国，属于monologue 常用技巧：政治时事热点就那么几条，关键是能够委婉间接的通过不同的段子说到这个点上。After I graduated from R
45、ice, I decided to stay in the US because in China I cant do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. In order to become a citizen, we immigrants had to take American history lessons with questions like: Whos Benjamin Franklin? We were like, “Ahh, the reason our convenient store gets robbed?” Whats th
46、e second Amendment? We were like, “Ahh, the reason our convenient store gets robbed?” What is Roe vs Wade? We went, “Ahh, two ways of coming to the US?”我在中国有件事肯定不如在美国，那就是民族性。用同一个答案回答了两个美国历史问题，非常有笑果，用移民的角度“误解”美国的著名堕胎案判例，是一般美国人无法想象的视角。Later I read a lot about American history. So much so that I starte
47、d to feel white guilt.In America, all men are created equal, but after birth, it depends on their parents income for early education and healthcare.这段看上去很诡异，作为一个黄色人种，怎么会有这种优越感，去产生 white guilt，实际上在为后面跟总统比做铺垫。I read on Mens Health magazine that president Obama every week has two cardio days and 4 weig
48、ht lifting days. I dont have to exercise because I have health insurance. I live in Massachusetts where we had universal healthcare and then elected Scott Brown. Talk about mixed message! I think there was a movie about him. Its called “Kill Bill”这段是一种很微妙的搞笑，如果奥巴马那天不是临时有事，在边上坐着的话会很有意思。kill bill 的 bi
49、ll 不是指克林顿，应该指法案。 Scott Brown 是共和党人，刚当选麻省议员，反对全民医保。所以说他 kill bill “扼杀了（医保）法案” 。We have Mr. vice president Joe Biden here tonight. I have read your autobiography and today I see you. I think the book is much better. They should have cast Brad Pitt, or Angelina Jolie.美国政客是要被随时拿来开涮的，其他的 comedian 讽刺起来比黄西狠得多。这里提到皮特和朱莉可以做两种解释:一是自传的文字都可以用来形容明星了，二是若将自传拍成电影的话得请他俩来出演才够格。I was just thrilled to be invited to tonights event. I showed the White House my jokes about the president, and thats when Obama decided not to come and started the immigration reform. Take t
