1、9到 10人 英语剧本 -孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版英文 2011-05-03 17:47Performance College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)Characters: Prologue(J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一个纸筒，J 被打中，狼狈不堪)J: Everybody says that Im henpecked, but in fact, Im as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍门大叫)Im not afraid of you! （内砸出一脸盆，J 接
2、着当成盾牌护着）Then,Im afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. Shes braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isnt! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!Act One(序幕结束时，JM 作窃
3、听状)JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?L：（揸住锅铲，扎着围裙，从门内跳出来）Im here!Im cutting chicken. Whats up mum?JM: Ive told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law“.L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, whats up?JM
4、:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy.L: But.JM:Never interrupt me!L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chic
5、kens and.JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, dont you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. Im leaving!(扔下围裙，扔到 JM脸上，下台)Act Two(LM坐在台上打毛线，L 拿着锅铲上台)L: Mum, Im back.LM: Youre back? Why? What happened?L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, grac
6、eful and dearest mother-in-law.LM(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didnt listen to me. Look at yourself now!L: But, mum.LM: Never interrupt me!L: Mum, Im not interrupting you. I jus
7、t want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And Ill marry whomever you want me to.LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayors Son in the market. He said,“If your daughter havent been married, I really really want to marry her!“ Now that youre free again, Ill go and tell him (下台).L: (惊愣)What?
8、 The Mayors Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下台)Act Three(J 睡眼惺忪上台)J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步，在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER.How smelly! Theyre still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）
9、Oh, Im so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunchs apron(围裙)! I miss her.EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself.JM:(上台) Wheres my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasnt she got up yet? J：Mum, cant you remember? Lunch has gone!JM:
10、(沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM!ACT FORE(J 开心地走着，忽然跳出三强盗)A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上)B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头)C: If you want to go by this stre
11、et.(欲踩石头，但踩到 A的脚)B：Give us.A: AllC: your money!J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一 1角硬币）Is 1 mao enough?(ABC晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!B: If we cant rob any money today, well have nothing to eat tonight.C: I heard that the Mayors Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob t
12、he wedding!AB: Good idea!J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!A:Why?B: A pretty girl and a rich man.C: What a good couple!J: But Lunch is my wife, we havent got divorced yet.(突然有主意) Ive got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, arent you? Ill go with you. you take the mon
13、ey, and I take the bride.B: Have you got any experience?J: No, but Ive got this!(J 脱下鞋子，从里面抹出一张支票，上书：$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着 J下台，目光跟着钱)Act Five(转眼已到婚礼之期，MS 意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台，L 盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台)（J A B C 跃至台中）A: Hey you!BCJ: Stop and listen to us!A: The road is built by me.B: And I planted one tree!C: If you wan
14、t to go by this street.J: Give us all your money!(L 听到 J 的声音，掀起了盖头)L: （惊喜万分）Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到 J 的身后)（MS 大怒，挥拳向 J 打来，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中 J 身后的 L , L晕倒）J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向 MS)(J与 MS 混战，JM 悄悄上在 MS后)J: (指着 MS后向 MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl!(MS向后一望，JM 用拐杖将其打倒)（J 将 MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来，戴在自己的胸前）J: (扶起 L,关切地问)Honey, How are you?L:(Crying.) Thurtalot!J: Dont cry baby, Ill fetch some medicine for you (下台)L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台)（音乐起：罗密欧与祝英台）END.
