1、Skills for Effective Communication,vivi,有趣的故事,一位青年人拜访年长的智者。青年问：我怎样才能成为一个自己愉快、也能使别人快乐的人呢？智者说：“我送你四句话，第一句是：把自己当成别人。即当你感到痛苦、忧伤的时候，就把自己当做别人，这样痛苦自然就减轻了；当你欣喜若狂时，把自己当做别人，那些狂喜也会变得平和些；第二句话是：把别人当做自己，这样就可以真正同情别人的不幸，理解别人的需要，在别人需要帮助的时候给予恰当的帮助；第三句话：把别人当成别人，要充分尊重每个人的独立性，在任何情形下都不能侵犯他人的核心领地；第四句话是：把自己当做自己。”青年问道：“如何理解
2、把自己当自己，如何将四句话统一起来？”智者说：“用一生的时间、用心去理解。”,Focus on what your audience wants to know, their background knowledge, their interest in the topic, their relationship with you and anything else about them that will help to make your communication effective.,沟通技巧,沟通技巧步骤 事前准备 确认需求 阐述观点 移情说服 处理异议 达成共识 共同实施,沟通技巧
3、,积极的倾听原则 站在对方的立场，仔细地倾听 要能确认自己所理解的是否就是对方所讲的 要能表现诚恳，专注的态度听对方的话,沟通技巧,倾听的技巧 倾听回应 提示问题 重复内容 归纳总结 表达感受,沟通技巧,听的重要性,不同的场景需要不同的听法几个聆听的原则。,听的技巧,移情换位,4种不同的回应方式。,作适当回应,主动的听，能听懂信息。,沟通技巧,移情换位的听,站在别人的立场去理解 理解信息内容 理解对方的感情成分 理解隐含成分,表层和深层： . 表层的移情换位 . 深层的移换位,甲：我用了整整周时间来帮助这个客户，但客户的销量还是不高。,Listening,“Seek first to unde
4、rstand, then to be understood,“ this precept规则 is paramount in interpersonal relations. To interact effectively with anyone-teachers, students, community members, even family members - you need first to understand where the person is “coming from.“,the greatest need of a human being is psychological
5、 survival - to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.“ When you listen carefully to another person, you give that person “psychological air.“ Once that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing or problem solving.,Good listeners: dont interrupt, especially 特别地t
6、o correct mistakes or make points; dont judge; think before answering; face the speaker; close enough to hear; watch nonverbal不用语言的 behaviour; aware明白的、意识到的 of biases偏见 or values that distort歪曲 what they hear; look for the feelings and basic assumptions假设 underlying潜在的 remarks备注、评论、谈及; concentrate集中
7、 on what is being said; avoid rehearsing背诵、复述 answers while the other person is talking; dont insist on having the last word.,积极倾听,Asking questions,Asking questions is an excellent way to initiate开始、发起 communication because it shows other people that youre paying attention and interested in their re
8、sponse. ask open-ended自由回答的 questions ask focused聚焦的 questions that arent too broad ask for additional details, examples, impressions,Give Feedback,Several types of feedback praise赞扬, paraphrasing解释, perception理解、感知-checking检查, describing描述 behaviour, and “I-messages. One especially important kind o
9、f feedback for administrators is letting staff members know how well they are doing their jobs.,沟通技巧,回应方式,鼓励：促进对方表达意愿。 询问：以探索的方式获得更多的信息。 反应：告诉对方你在听，同时确定对方完全了解你的意思。 重述：用于讨论结束的时候，确定没有误解对方的意思。,鼓励,询问,反应,重述,Paraphrasing解释,The real purpose of paraphrasing is not to clarify澄清 what the other person actually
10、 meant, but to show what it meant to you. This may mean restating重申 the original最初的 statement陈述 in more specific terms, using an example, or restating it in more general terms.,Perception Checking,Perception checking is an effort尽力、成就 to understand the feelings behind the words. One method is simply
11、 to describe描写 your impressions of another persons feelings at a given time, avoiding any expression of approval赞成 or disapproval.,Describing Behaviour,Useful behaviour description reports specific, observable actions without value judgments, and without making accusations指控、谴责 or generalizations一般化
12、 about motives动机, attitudes, or personality人格 traits特性. “Youve disagreed with almost everything hes said” is preferable更好的 to “Youre being stubborn固执的.“,Use “I” messages,“I”-messages reflect反应 ones own views and rely on依靠 description rather than criticism批评, blame责备, or prescription命令. One form of “
13、I“-message includes three elements: the problem or situation, your feelings about the issue, the reason for the concern.,For example, “When you miss staff meetings, I get concerned that were making plans without your input.“ For expressing feelings you can refer directly to feelings (“Im angry“), us
14、e similes, (“I feel like a fish out of water“), or describe what youd like to do (“Id like to leave the room now“).,Non verbal口头上的 messages,Notice facial expressions. Some people mask掩饰 emotions by not using facial expression; others exaggerate夸大 facial expression to belie掩饰 their real feelings. If
15、you sense contradictions矛盾、反驳 in verbal and nonverbal messages, gently probe deeper.,Frequent频繁的 eye contact communicates interest and confidence信心. Avoidance避免 communicates the opposite. The less distance between people, the more intimate亲密的 and informal the relationship. Staying behind your desk w
16、hen someone comes to visit gives the impression that you are unapproachable.,People tend to show more respect尊敬 and respond more positively肯定的 to individuals who are well dressed, but not overdressed穿的太讲究. Vision, humour, accessibility可接近的, team-building skills, and genuine真实的、真正的 praise can all hel
17、p to create a positive emotional climate思潮 and enhance提高 communication.,对于个体成员来说，要进行有效沟通，可以从以下几个方面着手：,一是必须知道说什么，就是要明确沟通的目的。如果目的不明确，就意味着你自己也不知道说什么，自然也不可能让别人明白，自然也就达不到沟通的目的。二是必须知道什么时候说，就是要掌握好沟通的时间。在沟通对象正大汗淋漓地忙于工作时，你要求他与你商量下次聚会的事情，显然不合时宜。所以，要想很好地达到沟通效果，必须掌握好沟通的时间，把握好沟通的火候。三是必须知道对谁说，就是要明确沟通的对象。虽然你说得很好，但
18、你选错了对象，自然也达不到沟通的目的。四是必须知道怎么说，就是要掌握沟通的方法。你知道应该向谁说、说什么，也知道该什么时候说，但你不知道怎么说，仍然难以达到沟通的效果。沟通是要用对方听得懂的语言包括文字、语调及肢体语言，而你要学的就是透过对这些沟通语言的观察来有效地使用它们进行沟通。,心靈戰士,我們經常被負面且被動的思考所影響!“ Words have POWER!”文字力量不可輕忽與人溝通的用語、用字務必小心!,Choose Your Words,我以前都說我有問題Problem這個有困難Difficult我會試試看I will try my best,我今天以後只說我要挑戰Challeng
19、e這個有意思,有趣Interesting我會全力以赴I will do my best,Choose Your Words,我以前都說我不知道I do not know我必須做I have toOh No,我今天以後只說我來找答案I will find out我想要做I want toOh Yeah,最重要的是一切就從自己開始!,信任别人的人，比不信任别人的人犯较小的错误！,人性的弱点之二,要想钓到鱼，得问鱼儿吃什么,每次当你们拿到那张跟别人的合照时，你最先注意到的是哪一个人？,回忆：,人性的弱点之三,你吝啬微笑吗？,微笑的真谛！,人性的弱点之四,可以是招呼示意、是原谅理解、是激励赞赏、是 ,
20、好朋友之间有秘密吗？,人性的弱点之五,人际沟通的艺术,秘诀：,建立自信的方法,多注意自己的长处和优点,相信自己拥有它们,我的数学不好，可是捉蝴蝶，我最拿手了,我是天上最没用的月亮，被打下人间,不要否定自己贬低自己可以从失败和错误中记取教训嘛,学习接受有建设性的批评 不要因为被批评而全盘否定自己的能力,什么都别说， 先充电吧！,做最好的准备，然后全力以赴！,Yeh!庆祝月亮找回力量,适时为自己的努力，给予奖赏与鼓励,多学习，扩大自己的视野,与自己信任的人 培养友谊 互相砥砺,培养谦虚的 态度，相信世 上还有许多 有待学习的事物,所以，你希望你的一生是怎么过的？,我可以我可以- （你可以做什么呢？） 第一名只有一个,从今天起，我们要,亲如一家,精诚合作,奔腾直前,憧憬美好未来,我们要多陪陪父母,还要加强我们的学习,朝着心中目标,一往无前,我们有时会很倒霉,也会遇到难题,一筹莫展,或是面临上司的压力,挨了批评,甚至有人用异样的目光看你,但你都要保持微笑与乐观,要勇于攀登,不畏险阻,积极探索,敢于创新,相信你终将获得成功！,你还要会享受生活,热爱绿色,享受美食,要对生活充满好奇,广交朋友,
