1、Writing Effective Sentences,Coordination and SubordinationUsing 3 Ways of Coordination Using Subordination Qualities of Good Sentences1 Unity 2 Coherence3 Conciseness4 Emphasis5 Variety,I. Coordination and Subordination RevisionSimple sentence = one independent clauseCompound sentence is the combini
2、ng of two independent clauses of equal importance joined by coordination. Complex sentence is the combining of two independent clauses containing ideas that are not equally important. More important idea ( Independent clause )Less important idea ( dependent clause ) Connecting words : subordinating
3、conjunctions relative pronouns,I) Coordination,Proper coordination can eliminate choppy sentence structure and reveals the precise relationship between similar ideas. E.g. Choppy: There are no classes held on Saturday. The school library is open until 5:00 p.m. for students convenience. Coordination
4、: There are no classes held on Saturday, but the school library is open until 5:00 p.m. for students convenience.,3 Ways of Coordination,1st Method: Use a comma + a coordinating conjunction2nd Method: Use a semicolon + an adverbial conjunction+ comma3rd Method: Use only a semicolon,1st Method to for
5、m a compound sentence: Use a comma + a coordinating conjunction,The speaker rose to his feet, and the room became quiet. His words were electric, so the crowd was attentive.( coordinating conjunctions: and , but , so , nor, or , for , yet, etc.),2nd Method to form a compound sentence,Use a semicolon
6、 + an adverbial conjunction+ comma He was late, and he had the wrong documents.( IC ) ( IC )He was late; furthermore, he had the wrong documents.(adverbial conjunctions: in addition , besides, moreover, likewise, similarly, instead, otherwise, however, indeed, in fact, hence, therefore, thus, etc.),
7、3rd Method of Coordination,Independent clause + ; + Independent clause He arrived at ten ; he left at midnight. The assistant wrote the speech; the manager delivered it at the national meeting.(Use this method if the grammatical structure of each independent clause is similar or if the ideas of each
8、 independent clause are very closely related.),II) Subordination,A sentence with subordination contains one dominant idea that is modified by grammatically subordinate words, phrases and clauses. Two parts - it contains only 1 major idea.e.g. Because he was tired, he went home.more importantTherefor
9、e “he was tired “ is subordinated to the main clause “ he went home “ “ because” is a subordinator.,Subordination helps a writer to avoid building a series of choppy, look-alike sentences that have the similar grammatical structure. Faulty: Our university is famous for its medical school. It has rec
10、ently added a new school of International Relations. Subordinated: Our university, which is famous for its medical school, has recently added a new school of International Relations Put the main idea in the main / independent clause , and the lesser or subordinate idea in the subordinate or dependan
11、t clause.,The choice of coordination or subordination is mainly decided by the relationship between the ideas to be expressed. EX. Combine the following pairs of sentences.The rich man went to church every Sunday. He never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood.,The rich man went to chur
12、ch every Sunday, and he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood. The rich man went to church every Sunday, but he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood. Although the rich man went to church every Sunday, he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood,
13、Ex. How to make this group of short sentences more impressive ?,I woke up at 6:30. I thought I was late. I washed quickly. Then I went into the kitchen. I found something to eat. I finished eating in a few minutes. I took my bike and hurried out . I rode very fast along the streets. Soon I was at th
14、e school gate. But it was closed. Then I realized that it was Saturday.,New version It was already 6:30 when I woke up. Thinking that I would be late for school, I washed and ate something in a hurry, got on my bike and set our for school. On the streets I rode as fast as I could , and in no time I
15、was at the school gate, only to find it closed. Then I remembered that it was Saturday.,II. Effective Sentences,An effective sentence is like a skilled athlete moving toward a goal.,Qualities of Effective Sentences1 Unity 2 Coherence3 Conciseness4 Emphasis5 Variety6 Aoid Chinglish,Unity（统一性）,Theres
16、only one main idea in a sentenceThe idea is complete.E.g. Born in Sichuan, he later became a famous writer.Dream of the Red Mansions is one of the best-known novels.,Unrelated: We paid a porter two dollars for taking our luggage to our room, and the hotel lobby was very elegant.Related: We paid a po
17、rter two dollars for taking our luggage to our rooms. We found that the hotel lobby was very elegant.Bring into a sentence only related thoughts and put unrelated thoughts in another sentence or sentences.,Unrelated: I was nervous, and I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the mirror over a
18、nd over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued. Related: I was nervous before my first date. I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the mirror over and over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued.,Ex. Improve the following.,Extracurricular activities mean
19、what a person does in his spare time and are very important for university students. (unrelated) 2. He had won several prizes in the competition, and we dont like the way he treated other people. (unrelated) 3. An example of discrimination is a cafe owner, especially after he has refused to serve fo
20、reigners. (incomplete),2. Coherence (连贯性）,Coherence means clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence. A sentence is coherent when the words are properly connected and their relationship is clear. To achieve coherence, we can resort to parallelism and subordination and keep consistency
21、in voice, mood and person.,一道题目要求把以下四句话用关联词连接：,1、张海迪姐姐瘫痪了； 2、张海迪姐姐顽强地学习； 3、张海迪姐姐学会了多门外语； 4、张海迪姐姐学会了针灸。 正确答案应该是：“张海迪姐姐虽然瘫痪了，但顽强地学习，不仅学会了多门外语，而且还学会了针灸。,结果有一个孩子写：虽然张海迪姐姐顽强地学会了针灸和多门外语，可她还是瘫痪了。 一个更猛的孩子写道：张海迪姐姐不但学会了外语，还学会了针灸，她那么顽强地学习，终于瘫痪了。,1) Faulty Parallelism (不对称结构）,Faulty: A man is judged not only by
22、 what he said but also by his deeds.Revised: A man is judged not only by what he said but also by what he did. Parallel ideas had better be expressed in parallel construction.,Faulty: We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman.,Revised: We thought she was a charming, in
23、telligent, and capable young woman.,Faulty: We have great faith and high hopes for her.,Revised: We have great faith in and high hopes for her.,Ex. Improve the following.,1.Friends I. Definition of Friends II. The Importance of Friends III. How to Make Friends,2. My job includes checking the invento
24、ry, initialing the orders, and to call the suppliers. 3. We painted the trim in the living room; the wall paper was put up by a professional. 4. Because the dying woman was dignified and with courage, she won everyones respect.,2) Dangling Modifiers悬垂修饰语,A modifier that opens a sentence must be foll
25、owed immediately by the word it is meant to describe. Otherwise, the modifier is said to be dangling, and the sentence takes on an unintended meaning.,Examples:Faulty: Looking out of the window, the grassland stretches as far as the eye can see.Revised: Looking out of the window, I can see the grass
26、land stretching as far as the eye can see. Outside the window, the grassland stretches as far as the eye can see.,Faulty: On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, “Good morning!”Revised: When the teacher entered the classroom, the students stood up and said, “Good morning!”On enter
27、ing the classroom, the teacher was greeted by the students who stood up and said, “Good morning!”,Ex. Improve the following sentences.,1. To impress the interviewer, punctuality is essential. 2. While pitching his tent, a snake bit Tony on the ankle. 3. The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.,3
28、) Misplaced Modifiers修饰语错位Misplaced modifiers are words that, because of awkward placement, do not describe what the writer intended them to describe. A misplaced modifier can make a sentence confusing or unintentionally funny. To avoid this, place words as close as possible to what they describe,E.
29、g. She bought several picture books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children. (faulty)Revised: She bought several picture books for her children and put them into her bag. She put into her bag several picture books that she had bought for her children.,E.g. The speaker d
30、iscussed the problem of crowded prisons at the college.I ordered a new telephone from the mail-order catalog shaped like a cartoon character.,4) Confusing Shifts,Unnecessary shifts in subjectE.g. He hated to study and, as a result, the grades he got were poor.The man disliked to work and, consequent
31、ly, the money he got was much less than any other employee.,Awkward shifts in voicee.g. After I locked the door, my key was left in the room.After a lot of time had been spent in preparation, they started on their journey.I spent most of the time in the library, but most of his time was spent in the
32、 laboratory.,Awkward shifts in numbere.g. If one tries hard, they will succeed.The reader can imagine how eager Natasha is to try out the garbage disposal unit. They can see why Mr. Natasha is so eager to try it out. Since extracurricular activities are so important to university students, each of u
33、s should participate in it.,Awkward shifts in tensee.g. Extracurricular activities are important to people, especially for those who always buried themselves in work.Aunt Flo tried to kiss her little nephew, but he runs out of the room.,5) Unclear Pronoun Reference代词指代不清楚,A sentence may be confusing
34、 and unclear if a pronoun appears to refer to more than one word or does not refer to any specific word.E.g. Susans mother wondered if she was tall enough to be a model. His father told him that he could take one day off. She told the little girl a story and revealed to her that the heroine was her
35、mother.,Ex. Please improve the following sentences.A. Leave out the word in that sentence because it is too difficult. B. She told my sister that her idea was practicable. C. He is a man recommended by Dr. Smith who knows how to fix cars.,Keys,A. Leave out the word in that sentence because with it t
36、he sentence is too difficult. B. She told my sister that her own idea was practicable. C. He is recommended by Dr. Smith as a man who knows how to fix cars.,Ex. (coherence) Improve the following.,1. The report is chiefly about inflationary trends in the last decade and that the consumer has lost con
37、fidence in the quality of many products. 2. He rode that snowy night and slipped into a ditch, but it was not serious. 3. Look at that ridiculous ladys hat! 4. The campaign was successful and costly, but the victory was sweet. 5. One of the fringe benefits of my job is that you can use a company cre
38、dit card for gasoline. 6. Students who practise writing often will benefit.,Do relevant exercise Task 14 on P64-65.,3. Conciseness,A sentence should not contain unnecessary words. If the idea is fully expressed, the fewer words, the better.,Wordy: I saw a girl who is very beautiful. In my opinion, I
39、 believe your plan is feasible. Mary is a quiet and careful woman. Due to the fact that the printer was out of paper, she went to the store for the purpose of buying some. Lynn is one of those people who rarely admit being wrong, and it is very unusual to hear her acknowledge that she has made a mis
40、take.,Some hints for making concise and clear sentences:Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun.Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning.Do not repeat words or phrases, if possible, in a sentence or in one that follows. Do not
41、 use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence.Do not repeat the same idea in different sentences except for emphasis.,Some wordy expressions could be reduced to single words.,e.g. Wordy Form Short Form At the present time In the event that In the near future Due to the f
42、act that For the reason that Is able to In every instance During the time that A large number of Big in size Red in color Five in number Postponed until later,Keys,e.g. Wordy Form Short Form At the present time now In the event that if In the near future soon Due to the fact that because For the rea
43、son that because Is able to can In every instance always During the time that while A large number of many Big in size big Red in color red Postponed until later postponed,Ex. (Conciseness) Revise the following.,1) He gave many reasons for being late, but the reasons could not hold water. 2). With t
44、he purpose of giving you a general idea of our product, we decide to enclose a complete set of leaflets. You can see it. 3) Professor Smith likes drinking all kinds of wines that are produced in France. 4) She went back to her hometown in the early part of 2003.,4. Emphasis,Sentence emphasis can be
45、achieved by different methods.Short sentencee.g. The speaker asked the audience what they thought were the main problems the city government was facing, and how these problems should or could be solved, and he eagerly waited for answers. No answer came.To consume more, we must produce more and creat
46、e more wastes. These by-products of our consumption must go somewhere.The result is pollution.Cf. Long sentence,2) Sentence fragmente.g. The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.The plot is confusing, the characters are very queer people, and
47、the dialogue is hard to understand. A strange film.,3) Balanced sentence,Two parallel sentences (same structure and roughly the same length) with contrasted (or similar) meanings (impressive, forceful, formal) . e.g. He likes smoking; his wife hates it. To some, the future sounds exciting; to others
48、, frightening.,4) Periodic sentence （掉尾句）,In a periodic sentence, main idea comes last (climax, emphatic, formal). It is not complete in structure or meaning until it reaches the last word, which is the most important word of the sentence.e.g. When my father had been wheeled into the recovery room,
49、I finally relaxed. It is generally acknowledged that the sole criterion of truth is practice. She often said to her parents and friends that her greatest wish was to be an artist.,5) Loose sentence （渐进句） In a loose sentence, main idea comes first (simple, direct, natural).e.g. To be an artist was her greatest wish and she often talked about this with her parents and friends. Her hands were always moving, pushing her glasses back up her slim nose, patting her hair into place, and tapping a non-existent ash off the end of her cigarette.,
