1、,The Power of Precise Languages,Languge Training,Line and Line,“丢”与“被偷”：言语不慎，或冤他人,“听说xxx把车丢了.”“不, 是车被偷了，而不是他把车丢了。”纠正为什么是必要的: 不同的表达体现了不同的责任。,表达不当,“订金”非“定金”：定订不分、损失万金！,新华网广州9月30日电（陈阳阳） 深圳市罗湖区的王女士为了儿子上学方便，决心学“孟母三迁”，委托房地产中介买一套靠近儿子学校的二手房。按照购房委托合同，王女士交给了中介商5000元人民币作为“订金”。谁知一个月过去了，房子仍然没着落。王女士一纸诉状将中介告上法庭，要求
2、对方双倍返还“定金”。 深圳市罗湖区人民法院近日判决此案。法院说，此“订金”非彼“定金”，不能适用“定金罚则”，王女士败诉。,“中止 ”岂能“终止”：一字不慎，诉讼缠身,“营五本部南通分公司服务员王某在今年2月份隐藏服务收入445元未上缴公司，给分公司工作造成困扰，同时带来极大的负面影响。”“为严肃公司纪律，依据奖惩管理办法第15条第5款规定，中止与王某的劳动关系，并依法追回应缴之款。”王某说，他对“公告”中“中止”与他的劳动关系理解为暂停他与公司的劳动关系，但当他接信后到公司，发现不是这么回事，而是公司解除与他的劳动关系。他认为公司这样做没有道理。他向公司申诉，7月3日，他又向南通市劳动争议
3、仲裁委员会提起劳动争议仲裁。他在申诉书中请求立即恢复劳动关系，签订劳动合同，补发今年4月至6月工资4290元，补缴1997年3月至1998年3月的基本养老保险金等,此“基”非彼“吉”，诈骗有嫌疑！,北京的“高空飞人”，已被上海大世界基尼斯总 部认定为“飞行器高空蹦极第一人”的张迪，认为基尼斯总部涉嫌欺诈。记者今天从西城法院了解到，该院已受理张迪的诉讼。 - 北京晚报,2002年09月20日报道,胡言又乱语、青史留笑名,We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen. -George W. Bush,CNN.CO
4、M,But in some area we have good relationship with AQSIQ, they will not test our system and no one will disturb us on it. So the RELEATIONSHIP with them is very important. they are more care about our attitude when we deal with them, timely contact is necessary: just talk about product knowledge or c
5、onsulted something will build some credit in their mind. By relationship with them, I am sure you meant that we need to enhance our communication and interaction and maintain such contact with the AQSIQ so that they can understand our products and processes better.,Real Examples,翻译不当，档次立降！,低档,普及型,Lo
6、w End,Low End,Real Examples,“否则本许可证所述的许可软件将原样并带有各种故障加以提供,而不提供书面的或口头的、明示的或默示的或法律推定的保证。”“否则本许可证所述的许可软件将原样且在不排除存在某种故障的情形下加以提供, 而不提供书面的或口头的、明示的或默示的或法律推定的保证。”,XXX操作和基本维修软件有限许可证第5条“许可软件有限保证书”,XX销售合同1. 上述全部价款须在发货前以电汇或支票方式汇入公司。,Real Examples,前后矛盾,一次性付款,分期付款,4. 客户与公司遵循以下的付款条件：总金额30的首期付款；总金额20在公司发货后2星期内付款；其余货
7、款在公司发货后每月支付总货款10。,I thought you were shooting a little bit from the hip the other day - you could have chosen your words better. -BossRephrasing the comment back to the Boss: So you are happy with me having a professional difference of opinion, but what youd like to see is me watching my words bette
8、r? - Employee,表达不当,Real Examples,What puzzles me is that we are cutting our back room resources at a time controllership is getting more important.“We are not cutting, we are simply digitizing the backroom.,Real Examples,Tips on Document Retention and Writing,Enron and Arthur AndersonMicrosoft - “Le
9、verage”,Obstruction of Justice,Email from Nancy Temple, an in-house lawyer, asking David Duncan to take her name off a memo and delete a reference to consultation with the legal group, to ensure that there would be no waiver of the attorney-client privilege,Andersen ,Microsoft ,Court found that Micr
10、osoft purposefully leveraged its monopoly power in the relevant market to thwart competition in other software markets.“I dont understand how IE is going to win. The current path is simply to copy everything that Netscape does packaging and product wise. Lets suppose IE is as good as Navigator/Commu
11、nicator. Who wins? The one with 80% market share. Maybe being free helps us, but once people are used to a product it is hard to change them. Consider Office. We are more expensive today and were still winning. My conclusion is that we must leverage Windows more. Treating IE as just an add-on to Win
12、dows which is cross-platform means losing our biggest advantage Windows marketshare. We should dedicate a cross-group team to come up with ways to leverage Windows technically more. . . . We should think about an integrated solution that is our strength.”,Antitrust in China,Prohibition of Abuses of
13、Market Dominance,Market dominance is presumed if:,An operator has a share exceeding 50% of a designated market Two operators jointly occupy over 2/3 of the market Three operators together have over a 75% share of such a market,Operators with market domination shall not:,Sell their products at a pric
14、e higher than normal Sell their products at a price lower than normal to exclude competitors Treat trading counter partner differently Refuse without sound reason to sell products to willing purchasers Impose resale price restrictions on wholesalers Other activities to reduce competition,Market domi
15、nance is confirmed if:,Sole operator in a given market make other operators unable to enter into that market Be at predominant position in a given market and make other operators unable to enter Two operators in a given market without essential competition,Document Creation: Examples of Potential Al
16、ternative Language,“Market”“Market Share”“Leverage”“Dominance”“Preempt”“Exclude”“Block”“Foreclose”Cooperation with CompetitorsPrice LeadershipDisciplining CompetitorsSignaling CompetitorsRational BehaviorIrrational CompetitorDestructive Pricing,Category; Segment; Product Line; IndustrySalesUse; Util
17、ize; EmploySubstantial Sales Volumes; Significant PositionInitiate; Act First; Achieve Business Objectives;Pursue OpportunityCompetition with CompetitorsPrice CompetitionIndependent Pricing DecisionsCompetitive Margins; Competitor SeekingShare Through Pricing,Avoid,Encourage,Industry Price Structure
18、Industry Price Movement“Umbrellas”Coercing or PressuringInjuring CompetitorsAll Military and Pugilistic TermsRaising Competitors Costs“Disciplining” or “Sending Messages”Below Cost PricingBeating CompetitionUndercutting CompetitorsTargeting Specific Competitors(Especially Small Competitors),Individu
19、al Pricing DecisionsPersuading or Convincing; Offering; Providing IncentivesBenefiting ConsumersPlain, Straightforward, Low-Key LanguageSuperior Efficiency; Superior Quality; Lower CostsIncreasing Our Sales; Responding to Competitive InitiativesReduced Profitability; Limited Profitability overTime H
20、orizon; Introductory Discounts; Attemptsto Minimize LossesMeeting CompetitionEffective Sales and Marketing Efforts; Pursuing Marketing Opportunities,Document Creation: Examples of Potential Alternative Language,Avoid,Encourage,Mergers/Acquisitions/Joint Ventures to:Raise PricesProtect Price LevelsEl
21、iminate CompetitorEliminate Potential CompetitorDefend Market PositionEliminate Disruptive orAggressive FirmReduce OutputEliminate OvercapacityRationalize CapacityIncrease MarginsEnhance ProfitabilityPreempt RivalsBarriers To Entry,Mergers/Acquisitions/JointVentures to:Reduce CostsIncrease SalesGene
22、rate EfficienciesIncrease OutputReduce Or Share RisksAcquire Or Combine Complementary Technology; Lower CostsGenerate EfficienciesReduce Costs; Expand Sales;Develop New Products;Achieve Scale EconomiesExpand Capacity; Take Advantage of Growth OpportunityCompetitive Marketplace; Intense Competition,D
23、ocument Creation: Examples of Potential Alternative Language,Avoid,Encourage,Document “Quality” Tips,Newspaper Test - Before sending any e-mail or memo, ask yourself how you would feel if it appeared the next day in The New York Times. Note: Some newspapers have published transcripts of internal voi
24、ce mails from companies.Stick to Facts - Opinion or speculation is troublesome and can be exaggerated. From a productivity point of view, anything other than facts rarely helps. No Privileges - Putting Attorney-Client Privileged on a document doesnt make it so, unless expressly working with counsel.
25、 Privilege may not even be available under local law.Cool It - Eliminate competitive rah-rah, even if in jest. GE is committed to succeeding by providing quality products and services at a fair price.An E-mail Saved - Could be a lawsuit earned. Keep what should be kept, but get rid of anything that
26、is no longer needed and not required to be retained by our applicable policies.,Writing Tips,Whenever possible, use short, concrete subjectsUse short, active predicateWhenever possible, use active rather than passive voiceKeep your sentence relatively short (shorter, sweeter)Maintain parallel senten
27、ce structureAvoid misplaced and dangling modifiersEliminate unnecessary wordsMake your comparisons complete and logicalCheck that the words in your sentence have a rational relationship. Select concrete, familiar and specific words: avoid vagueness and impressionAvoid jargon, informal and esoteric l
28、anguageAvoid sexist language,Not: Defense counsels use of racially discriminatory peremptory challenges arising out of a state-created statutory privilege deprives excluded jurors of their equal protection rights.But: Jurors are deprived of their equal protection rights by defense counsels use of ra
29、cially discriminatory peremptory challenges arising out of a state-created statutory privilege.Not: The actions of the company in firing its employee for criticizing salary increases were a violation of Chinese law. But: The company violated Chinese law when it fired the employee for criticizing sal
30、ary increases.Not: In balancing the interests, full factual development is needed in order to ensure the fair process. (Who needs full factual development? Who is balancing?)But: In order for the courts to balance the interests, the parties should fully develop the facts.,Writing Tips,Not: A duty of
31、 care to the customer was breached by the store worker when the slippery floor was left unmopped by him.But: When the store worker failed to mop the slippery floor, he breached his duty of care to the customer.Not: Undercover agent Jones walked up to a group of teenagers standing in front of a store
32、 with the intention of buying some cocaine. (Did Jones intend to buy cocaine or did the teenagers?) But: Intending to buy cocaine, undercover agent Jones walked up to a group of teenagers standing in front of a store. Not: By reason of the fact that Chih was out of the country, the meeting was postp
33、oned. But: The meeting was postponed because Chih was out of the country.,Writing Tips,Example: The attorney must represent his client to the best of his ability.Rewrite: Attorneys must use their best abilities in representing their clients. Example: The judge handed down his opinion on June 1st.Rewrite: The judge handed down the opinion on June 1st.,Writing Tips,
