1、Chapter 11,人际关系 Personal Relationships,人际关系Personal Relationships,三个基本特征Three basic characteristics 在相对较长时间里不断的频繁接触Frequent interaction over a long period of time 亲密关系中包含了各种不同的活动或事件Many different kinds of activities 人与人之间的相互强烈的影响Strong mutual influence,Relationships with Siblings: Usually (Although
2、Not Always) Positive,Long-Term Friendships: Friends for Life Many friendships formed during childhood fade away, but a few survive for decadesor even an entire lifetime.,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,社会交往牵扯到相互依赖的同伴之间对结果的交换协调和交换Analyzes the exchange and coordination of outcomes between interdependent
3、 partners,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,回报是指一个人从交往中获得的任何收益A reward is anything a person gains from an interaction 特定性的或是普遍的Particular or universal, 象征性的或是具体的symbolic or concrete 基本的回报类型Basic types of rewards: 爱Love 信息Information 金钱Money 物品Goods 地位Status 服务Services,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,成本是发生
4、在交往和关系中的消极结果A cost is any negative consequence that occurs in an interaction or relationship 时间Time 精力Energy 大量的冲突Conflict 其他人不赞同这种交往Others Disapproval 如果剥夺了我们进行其它有益活动的机会，它也会是高成本的An interaction may also be costly of it deprives us of the opportunity to do other rewarding activities,相互依赖理论 Interdepen
5、dence Theory,结果=回报-成本Outcome = Rewards Costs 几个标准来评价结果We evaluate outcomes with standards 赢利性Profitability 比较水平（Comparison level）：反映个人认为他应该获得结果的质量 基于个人在关系上的过去经验Based on past experience 备择关系的比较水平（Comparison level of alternatives）：对某个关系与我们目前可以得到的其它关系相比，作出评估 基于目前其它可得的关系Based on other currently availabl
6、e relationships,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,在诸多关系中，我们需要协调行动以使两个人的利益都实现最大化In relationships, we need to coordinate activities to maximize benefits to both partners 两人之间对结果的协调是容易还是困难，取决于他们有多少共同的兴趣和目标，即相似程度Easier to do when partners are similar 即便十分般配的同伴也会有冲突，当发生冲突时必须通过协商找出解决办法。In case of conflicts of
7、 interest, partners must negotiate a settlement 社会规范和社会角色帮助我们解决冲突的方法Social norms and social roles help provide solutions to some coordination problems,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,当人们知觉到他们的社会关系是公平的时候，他们会非常满足（不喜欢感到被他人剥削，通常也不喜欢占他人便宜）People are most content when they perceive their relationships to be
8、 fair 公平的原则Rules for Fairness 相等原则Equality Rule 考虑每个人的相对需要“To Each According to Need” 公平原则Equity Rule: 贡献和收益成比例profits proportional to inputs Ps outcome = Os outcome Ps contributions Os contributions,社会交换理论中的公平理论 Equity theory,公平理论的基本假设Basic Assumptions of Equity theory 处于关系中的人们设法最大化他们的结果Individuals
9、 try to maximize their outcomes in a relationship. 通过不断改善公平分配回报的规则或规范，两个人和群体可以最大化他们的回报Rewards can be maximized by evolving rules or norms about fairness. 知觉到不公平会感到不开心Perceived inequity fosters distress. 对于被剥削的人和过度收益的人都会烦恼For both the under-benefited and the over-benefited 知觉到关系不平等的人将会试图恢复公平People wh
10、o perceive inequity will try to restore equity. 恢复实际的平等和恢复心理上的平等Either actual or perceived equity may be restored.,社会交换理论中的公平理论 Equity theory,对于公平理论的实验研究Research on Equity Theory 对公平的关注在关系建立的初期和长期关系中面临有压力性的改变时是非常重要的Concerns with fairness may be highest at the beginning of a relationship, and in a lo
11、ng-term relationship when it encounters stressful changes 公平对于亲密关系中的幸福感的影响小于一个人从关系中得到的绝对回报水平Equity is less important to happiness than the absolute level of rewards,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,社会交换原则有助于我们理解许多不同类型的关系。大多数人承认，社会交换会影响偶然发生的关系，但他们并不认为交换问题会主导我们非常亲密的关系。,相互依赖理论 Interdependence Theory,交换关系
12、Exchange RelationshipsPeople give benefits expecting a return of benefits soon after 陌生人、偶然认识的人和业务关系上的人Strangers & Casual AcquaintancesClark & Mills (1979),共有关系 Communal RelationshipsPeople feel responsible for meeting their partners needsFamily, Friends, Romantic PartnersIncluding other in self mea
13、ns that benefiting partner benefits self too,自我中包含他人量表 Inclusion of Other in the Self (IOS) Scale,INSTRUCTIONS: Please circle the picture below that best describes your relationship.,Inclusion of Other in the Self (IOS) Scale,This scale can be, and has been, applied to a variety of interpersonal rel
14、ationships. It is typically used to assess closeness in romantic relationships. The scale is scored from 1 (no overlap) to 7 (almost complete overlap). When Aron, Aron, & Smollan (1992, Primary Study) administered this scale to a sample of 208 participants, the average score (across relationship typ
15、e) was 4.74 (SD = 1.48) FROM: Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Smollan, D. (1992). Inclusion of other in the self scale and the structure of interpersonal closeness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(4), 596-612.,自我暴露Self-Disclosure,自我暴露是交谈中的一种特殊形式，它是我们与他人分享私密信息与感受的过程。Self-disclosure is a spe
16、cial type of conversation in which we share intimate information and feelings with another person.,Self-disclosure in relationships, and a positive explanatory style help protect people from feelings of loneliness.,自我暴露 Self-Disclosure,Reasons we disclose 社会认可Social Approval 关系发展Relationship Develop
17、ment 自我表达（宣泄）Self-Expression 自我澄清Self-Clarification 社会控制Social Control,社会渗透理论Social penetration,人们之间亲密关系的发展与人际交往中沟通的水平有关，随着话题由浅入深，人们之间的关系也由一般向亲密转化。社会渗透理论还指出，与他人刚认识时，人们在自我展露的时候遵守相互性规范，即自己的展露水平与他人的展露水平相对应，他人展露水平高时自己的也高，他人展露水平低时自己的也低。,自我暴露Self-Disclosure,Liking Self-Disclosure 一般来说，我们喜欢那些逐渐进行自我暴露并且相互之间
18、彼此暴露的人In general, we most like people whose self-disclosure is reciprocal and gradual. 自我暴露对喜欢的影响取决于关系的本质The impact of self-disclosure on liking depends on the nature of the relationship. E.g., an intimate self-disclosure by ones roommate may be received very differently than an intimate self-disclo
19、sure by a random stranger in a lecture hall.,自我暴露Self-Disclosure,Self-disclosure also entails risks: 冷淡Indifference 排斥Rejection 控制感的丧失Loss of Control 出卖Betrayal Because of the risks of self-disclosure, we sometimes conceal our deepest feelings and keep secrets,自我暴露Self-Disclosure,Self-disclosure var
20、ies by culture E.g., Japanese are less self-disclosing than Americans across relationships,自我暴露Self-Disclosure,Self-disclosure varies by gender Women reveal somewhat more than men, particularly in same-sex relationships in the U.S. Men may be more revealing in same-sex relationships in cultures that
21、 encourage this Men and women often disclose at equal levels does not mean that they necessarily reveal the same kinds of personal information.,亲密Intimacy,仅仅暴露个人的信息还不足以形成亲密，只有当我们感到被同伴理解、认同和关心时，我们才会感觉到这种关系是亲密（Harry Reis，1996）Intimacy results not just from self-disclosure, but when self-disclosure evo
22、kes a response that makes a person feel understood, validated, and care for.,Gender and Intimacy,男人和女人对亲密的定义是不同的Men and women do not define intimacy differently. However, men experience less intimacy than women in their same-sex interactions (there are no difference in cross-sex interactions) Cultur
23、al norms may explain this.,权利的均衡The Balance of Power,社会权利是指一个人能够有意的影响他人行为思想或是感受的能力Social power = a persons ability to influence deliberately the behavior, thoughts, or feelings of another. In some relationships, power is balanced, in others, one person has more power than the other.,权利的均衡The Balance
24、 of Power,Heterosexual couples in the U.S.: Equal power 64% Male-dominant 27% Female-dominant 9% Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983 同伴之间可以通过各种方式达成权利的平衡Equal power can mean shared or “separate but equal” decision-making Consensus between partners is generally the key to happiness However, female-dominant rel
25、ationships are less satisfying,权利的均衡The Balance of Power,三种因素决定权利中的关系是否平等Three things determine whether a relationship is equal in power: 社会规范和态度Social Norms and Attitudes 相对的资源Relative Resources Especially if the one with greater resources is a man 最小兴趣原则The Principle of Least Interest The person w
26、ho is least dependent on the relationship has the most power (Waller, 1938),满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,满意度是一个人对一段关系质量的主观评价Satisfaction = an individuals subjective evaluation of the quality of a relationship. Better when: 回报付出Rewards Costs 一般比较水平的影响Outcome Compared level Happy couples spend mor
27、e time in joint activities, use more humor, engage in more affectionate touching, and in less criticism, hostility, & arguing,满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,承诺是指维持个体不脱离关系的所有力量Commitment = all the forces, positive & negative, that act to keep a person in a relationship. Increased by 满意度Satisfaction
28、 价值&道德Values & morals 关系结束时的障碍Barriers that make it costly to leave 投资Investments Decreased by C.L. alt (available alternatives),满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,Generally, there is a close relationship between satisfaction & commitment However, sometimes couples stay together despite low satisfacti
29、on. Why? Higher investments Lack of alternatives Moral commitments Low feelings of personal control,满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,Factors that help in understanding commitment in heterosexual relationships are generally useful in understanding homosexual relationships as well. The major differenc
30、e is fewer barriers to breaking up for homosexual relationships.,满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,Factors that increase commitment: Positive Illusions about Relationships Misremembering the Past Forgoing（放弃） Tempting Alternative Partners Explaining a Partners Behavior in a charitable fashion Willing
31、ness to Sacrifice Accommodation（牵就） & Forgiveness,满意度与承诺 Satisfaction & Commitment,不满意的反映Reactions to Dissatisfaction: Voice表达：双方讨论所遇到的问题、寻求妥协 Loyalty真诚：希望自己的真诚能使对方回心转意 Neglect忽视：故意忽略对方，挑剔对方的缺点 Exit退出：认为没有必要挽回这种关系的时候 Rusbult, 1987,冲突Conflict,The process that occurs when the actions of one person int
32、erfere with the actions of another The potential for conflict increases as interdependence(相互依存) increases,Conflict,三种类型的冲突问题Three types of problems 特殊的行为specific behaviors 规范和角色norms and roles 个人特质personal dispositions,Conflict,冲突的利弊取决于如何解决Conflict can help or hurt a relationship, depending on how
33、it is resolved. On the one hand, it can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal, even threats and violence. On the other, it can provide opportunity for clarification of agreements, to discover their depth of feeling for each other, and renew efforts to create a satisfying relationship.,当矛盾出现的时候，女性更希望尽快结束
34、这种关系，并且没有恢复的余地，而男性则有可能回心转意。 对双方都会造成伤害，但是有研究发现谁先提出谁的痛苦就会少一些，对男性来讲更明显。原因与传统的性别角色有关；也可能与男性的情感专一有关。,关系破裂对谁的伤害大？,如何利用社会支持减少关系破裂造成的伤害？,社会支持是指人们感受到的来自他人的的关心和支持，社会支持的来源不仅包括家人、朋友、同事等，也可能来自与我们关系一般的其他人，甚至陌生人，而支持的形式既可能是情绪上的，也可能是物质援助。Gore认为当人们失去亲密关系的时候，家庭和朋友的社会支持往往会成为应付紧张的缓冲器。,中国人的人际关系,杨国枢先生认为，与西方人人际关系的个人取向相比，中国
35、人的人际关系是社会取向的。这种取向反映了中国文化的独特需求，这种取向表现在：,A. 家族取向 家族主义是中国社会最主要的特征之一，不论是在传统的中国社会，还是在现代的中国社会，家族主义一直占有举足轻重的地位。有甚至人认为中国社会的基本功能单位是家族而不是个人，并且它的盛行与中国农业社会的特征有关。,中国人的人际关系,B.关系取向 关系角色化：中国人强调在人与人的社会关系中来界定自己的身份。 关系的互赖性：中国人与他人发展关系目的就是要利用这种由互赖性所引起的回报。 关系的和谐性：在中国人的人际关系模式中，和谐性是非常重要的方面。 关系决定论：在中国社会中关系的作用却远远超出在其它社会中的影响。
36、,中国人的人际关系,C.权威取向 权威敏感：中国人对权威的存在非常警觉与敏感，他们在任何一个场合总是细心观察有没有权威的存在。 权威崇拜：中国人很崇拜权威，不论权威是死是活，并且采取绝对化的倾向。 权威依赖：由于认为权威是可信的、全能的、永远的，所以在行为上会对权威产生依赖。,中国人的人际关系,D.他人取向 顾虑人意：中国人对他人的意见非常敏感，往往花很多时间打听别人的观点。 顺从他人：无论是在意见上还是在行为上，中国人的社会顺从倾向都比较高。 关注规范：在中国人的心目中，社会规范是自己言行的主要依据。 重视名誉：中国人很看重自己的名誉，所以他们经常调整自我监控的方式与内容。,中国人的人际关系,
