1、To many parents, childrens fears make no sense at all. Neverthe-less, to children, monsters lurking in the dark or scary noises coming from the attic are quite real. Around your childs second birthday, he or she may become frightened by things that did not cause fear beforethe neighbors dog, the dar
2、k, the bathtub drain, and loud noises. Several factors contribute to a child developing fears by age 2. Children between the ages of 2 and 6 have experienced real fear or pain from being lost, injured, or bitten. They also have vivid imaginations and struggle with the idea of cause and effect. A tod
3、dler knows some-thing about size and shape, but not enough to be sure that he or she wont be sucked down into the bathtub drain or into a fl ushing toilet. Older children also are aware of dangers that they hear about or see on TV. Its hard to know what is real and what is not. Common fearsFear of s
4、eparation Toddlers anxiety about separa-tion is an indication of growth. Be-fore your toddler turned 2, he or she forgot you after you left, and settled down quickly. Now your child worries about and puzzles over your departure. Always tell your child that you are leaving. Sneaking out decreas-es tr
5、ust. It may help to get your child absorbed in an activity be-fore you leave. An elaborate ritual of waving bye-bye and blowing good-bye kisses also may help. Preschoolers are more self-assured than toddlers, but occasion-ally experience fears about being separated from a parent when starting a new
6、school or child care arrangement, staying overnight with a relative, or moving to a new home. Ease into new situations gradually. Visiting the new school several times before the fi rst day, or staying with your child for the fi rst day or two can make a big difference. FearsPM 1529d Revised Novembe
7、r 2003Younger children fear monsters and snakes that lurk in the bed-room shadows. Older children may fear burglars and thieves. It is not at all uncommon for chil-dren who are 10 and 11 to still use a night light. A gradual reduction of light works for many families, while some children decide on t
8、heir own to turn lights off. It is important not to rush your child.School-age children have fears tooDuring the school-age years, imaginary monsters disappear, but other fears begin to surface. School-age children often have to deal with bullies, the fear of rejection or embarrassment, and sometime
9、s the reality of being home alone after school. School-agers also are aware of TV and news events that showcase murder, drug abuse, kidnappings, and burglaries.About one-third of school-age children experience fears that re-occur. Often these children develop strategies that help them cope. One comm
10、on strategy children use is to turn the TV on when they arrive home so they dont hear scary noises. Other strategies include hiding under beds or in closets, turning all the lights on in the house, and using the phone for comfort and com-panionship. Older kids often feel embarrassed about feeling af
11、raid and are reluctant to share their feelings. Asking specifi c questions like “Do you have a special hiding place? Do you walk home a cer-tain way? When you come home Fear of baths Many young children worry about going down the drain with the water. No amount of logical talk will change this. Avoi
12、d letting the water drain out while your child is still in the tub or even in the bathroom. If your child seems fearful of water, you might try letting him or her play fi rst with a pan of water, then in the sink, and fi nally over the edge of the tub (dont leave a child alone in the bathroom). Fear
13、 of dogs Dogs are often loud, fast moving, and unpredictable. Many children fear them. Respect your childs fear of strange dogs; a childs instincts may be right. If you wish to intro-duce your child to a friendly dog, fi rst try sharing pictures of the dog with your child. Next watch the dog from a
14、distance, and fi nally approach the dog together. You may want to demonstrate how to pet the dog, but dont force your child to pet the dog, too. If he or she refuses, you can try again later. Fear of loud noises Although your toddler loves to pound on a toy drum, the loud noise from a vacuum cleaner
15、 or a hair dryer may be very fright-ening. Even preschoolers can develop fear of loud noises. Try letting your child look at and eventually touch things in your home before you turn them on. If the fear seems intense, save “loud noise jobs” for times when your child is rested and in a good mood, or
16、better yet, when he or she is not around. Fear of the darkParents often sheepishly admit that their child sleeps with a night light (or the room light) on. Children can sleep with lights on without damag-ing their health. Many children sleep with a night light well into the school-age years. Fear of
17、 the dark is usu-ally one of the last child-hood fears to be conquered. do you check the doors?” will help parents identify concerns that their children might have. A very elaborate plan for self protection may indicate that the child is feeling threatened and very afraid. How parents can helpYour c
18、hilds fears depend on his or her level of anxiety, past experi-ence, and imagination. If any fears persist, give your child more time and try to avoid events and situ-ations that can trigger them. Your child may be better equipped emotionally to deal with his or her fears in a few months. Avoid lect
19、ures. It is not helpful to ridicule, coerce, ignore, or use logic. Think back to your own childhood. How often did you hear phrases like: “There is no such thing as a monster,” “Dont be such a baby,” “There are no lions or bears for miles and miles from here,” or “Pet the nice doggie, he wont hurt y
20、ou.” Did statements such as these really make you feel any better? Accept your childs fears as valid. Support your child any time he or she is frightened. Use a matter-of-fact attitude and some reassuring words. Its OK to explain that monsters dont really live un-der the bed, but dont expect your ch
21、ild to believe it. Remember that some fear is good. Children should have a healthy sense of cau-tion. Strange dogs and strange people can be dangerous. As children grow older, they begin to have a better understanding of cause and effect, and reality versus fantasy. They also may gain some fi rst-ha
22、nd experience with the object of their fear and discover ways to control po-tentially dangerous situations. Eventually, most fears will be overcome or at least brought under control. Show your child how to cope. Young children can learn some coping skills that will help them feel like they have more
23、 control of their fear. Learning how to take deep breaths, using their imagination to turn a scary monster into a funny monster, or keeping a fl ashlight by the bed after lights are turned off are all good examples of coping skills. Reading childrens books about scary situations such as going to bed
24、 in the dark or having an op-eration in the hospital also can be helpful. It is best not to force a child into fearful situations all at once. Often the “shock” method will backfi re and intensify the fear. A small dose at a time is the best way to help a child over-come fear. A note about nightmare
25、s and night terrorsOne out of every four chil-dren between the ages of 3 and 8 experiences either night terrors or nightmares. Both of these situa-tions can be unnerving, but are generally short-lived.Night terrors generally occur within an hour of falling asleep. The child awakens suddenly from a s
26、tate of deep sleep in a state of panic. He or she may scream, sit up in bed, breathe quickly, and stare “glassy eyed.” The child also may seem confused, disoriented, and incoherent. Each episode can last from 5 to 30 minutes. A child who experiences night terrors is not aware of any scary thoughts o
27、r dreams and is usually able to go back to sleep quickly. In the morning, the child usually doesnt remember waking at all. Night terrors may occur for several years. Generally they go away with time and are not an indication of any underlying emotional problems. Nightmares generally occur in the ear
28、ly morning hours. Children who experience nightmares can often recall the vivid details of their scary dream and may have diffi culty going back to sleep. Nightmares will often center on a specifi c problem or life event that is troubling the child. Parents can help by remain-ing calm. Hold your chi
29、ld close and talk in a soft, soothing voice. Comfort and reassure your child. If possible, stay close by until he or she falls asleep. Calm, consistent handling of nightmares or terrors will help your child feel safe and secure. Books for childrenAre You My Mother? P. EastmanHow Many Kisses Goodnigh
30、t? Jean MonradThe Runaway Bunny, Margaret Wise BrownGoodnight Moon, Margaret Wise Brown Bedtime for Francis, Lilian HobanIra Sleeps Over, Bernard WalerFile: Family life 8Written by Lesia Oesterreich, extension family life specialist. Some material adapt-ed from 1-2-3 Grow by Pauline Davey Zeece and
31、Randy Wiegel. Edited by Muk-tha Jost. Illustrations by Lonna Nachtigal. Graphic design by Valerie Dittmer King. Read more about it!For more information about children and families contact your county extension offi ce and ask for the following publications.Understanding Children: Disciplining your t
32、oddler, PM 1529cUnderstanding Children: Disciplining your preschooler, PM 1529bUnderstanding Children: Self-esteem, PM 1529hGrowing into Middle Childhood: 5- to 8-year-olds, PM 1174a (cost)Also visit the ISU Extension Web site at:www.extension.iastate.edu. . . and justice for allThe U.S. Department
33、of Agriculture (USDA) prohibits discrimination in all its programs and activities on the basis of race, color, national origin, gender, religion, age, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, and marital or family status. (Not all prohibited bases apply to all pro-grams.) Many materials ca
34、n be made available in alternative formats for ADA clients. To fi le a complaint of discrimination, write USDA, Offi ce of Civil Rights, Room 326-W, Whitten Building, 14th and Independence Avenue, SW, Wash-ington, DC 20250-9410 or call 202-720-5964. Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in coop-eration with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Jack M. Payne, director, Cooperative Extension Service, Iowa State University of Science and Technology, Ames, Iowa.
