1、2007年英语专业八级考试分析,翻译部分宁波大学科学技术学院 王进祥,试看案例一此乃案例之一，来自网络翻译高手，请大家鉴别。,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。这儿水草肥美，让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,Right beside thi
2、s gorgeous picture, a flock of sheep are hanging their heads in search of food by the riverside. Almost none of them have raised their heads to have a glance at the beautiful dusk. Perhaps, they want to make use of every minute to enjoy their last chew before being driven home. This is a scene of th
3、e Yellow River bank, where the shepherd has disappeared and no one knows where he is resting himself. Only these creatures are appreciating the dusk freely. Here, the exuberant water and grass have nourished them, with each of them growing very fat. When approaching, you will find their white teeth
4、and rich but innocent facial expressions.,试看案例二此乃案例之二，来自网络翻译高手，请大家鉴别。,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。这儿水草肥美，让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,Beside th
5、is picture with profusions of colors, a group of sheep are lowering their heads, eating by the river bank. Hardly any of them would spare some time to raise their eyes to have a glance at the beautiful dusk. They are, perhaps, taking use of every minute to enjoy their last chew before being driven h
6、ome. This is a picture of the Yellow River bank, in which the shepherd disappears, and no one knows where he is resting himself. Only the sheep, however, as free creatures, are joyfully appreciating the dusk. The exuberant water plants have nutrited the sheep, making them grow as fat as balls. When
7、approaching near, you would find their lily-white teeth and a variety of innocent facial impressions.,试看案例三此乃案例之三，来自网络翻译高手，请大家鉴别。,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。这儿水草肥美，
8、让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,Just beside this splendid picture, a herd of sheep are grazing with bent heads by the riverside. However, none of them cares to look up and throw a glance at the beautiful twilight. Perhaps they are using the last moment for another chew before goin
9、g home. This is a scene taking place on the shore of the Yellow River. The shepherd, who is nowhere to be seen, is having a rest in an unknown place, leaving these living things to enjoy this moment of dusk with full ease and freedom. Here the water is so fresh and the grass so tender that all of th
10、em are well-fed and chubby. If you approach them, you will see their snow-white teeth as well as their rich innocent expressions.,试看案例四此乃案例之四，来自书本上的专八参考答案，请大家鉴别。,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何
11、处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。这儿水草肥美，让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,Just beside this splendid picture, a flock of sheep are grazing with bent heads by the riverside. Hardly any of them cares to look up and throw a glance at the beautiful twilight. Perhaps they are using thelast moment
12、 for another chew before going home. This is a scene taking place on the shore of the Yellow River. The shepherd, who is nowhere to be seen, is having a rest in an unknown place, leaving these living things to enjoy this moment of dusk with full ease and freedom. Here the water grass is so luxuriant
13、 and tender that the sheep have battened on them. If you approach them, you will see their snow-white teeth as well as their rich innocent expressions.,这些案例分别出了什么问题？,1. 这是一篇散文，非常写意，可谓“托物言志，借景抒情”。译者读完原文，心中画面感犹如高帧数拍摄的视频，非常清晰，且有远近不同的特写镜头。如何把这种意境用英语如实再现，是本文翻译的核心任务。本文的主角是一群被称作“生灵”的羊，它们在暮色中的黄河滩头悠闲地吃草。原文借羊
14、的单纯与自由凸显人类对自然美景和闲逸世界的向往。散文的翻译，必须神形兼顾。译者对原文的这种认识，便是神之所在。2. 遗憾的是四个案例中，开头都用了beside这个介词，都把主角“羊吃草”与画面隔离开了，这是不对的。原文第一句的“在旁边”实质上是以“绚烂的图画”为背景来烘托这种意境。用against，哪怕是on the side/corner of都要比beside准确。“一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来”,前部分是写实，后部分写意。羊不像人，或者对这种河边暮色早就习以为常，不会去欣赏美景，此处应该淡化，用非谓语形式处理。埋头吃草是它们的本能，是画面的主旋律，应该用主句处理。暮
15、色降临倒似乎在催促羊群赶紧吃草。Hardly any of them caring to raise their eyes for the beautiful twilight, the sheep seem to take every second as their last chew of the day before driven home. 然而四个案例中都是遵规蹈矩地分句去译，失去了译文的生动性。“这是黄河滩上的一幕”指的是什么？上文（用that）还是下文（用this）？应该说上下文皆是，所以用it，而非四个案例中都用的this。It is a picture of vividnes
16、s on the Yellow River, with the shepherd resting himself in nowhere, leaving his lovely animals alone enjoying the dusk heartedly in a leisure fashion.“如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。”翻译这句话，就需要生活经验了。羊吃草时不停地露出牙齿和舌头，仿佛在做表情。Take a close-up look, you may notice their rich innocent expressions as well
17、 as white teeth. “表情”是借助牙齿等器官表现的，显然要处于强调位置，而牙齿应处于弱化位置。但是四个案例都紧跟原文语序，做出了错误的处理。,原文分析及其参考译文,原文及分析,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。1. 在图画旁边，属不属于这幅图？应该属于。那就不应该用beside。2. 此处的“觅食”，是在寻找食物吗？不是。根据后文，不难知道是羊群在吃草。,参考译文,Right against the gorgeous background image, a herd of sheep
18、are bending their heads grazing on the riverside.,原文分析及其参考译文,原文及分析,它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。一头头膘肥体壮憨态可掬的羊赶在天黑之前抓紧吃草的情景栩栩如生，它们不会留恋美景。吃草要紧，那就要凸显。主人不见了（就是“他不知在何处歇息”，无须反复翻译），更显得羊群的自由享受。这种静谧安详的场景应该多由-ing形式在译文中来重现。,参考译文,Hardly any of
19、 them caring to raise their eyes for the beautiful twilight, the sheep seem to take every second as their last chew of the day before driven home. It is a picture of vividness on the Yellow River, with the shepherd resting himself in nowhere, leaving his lovely animals alone enjoying the dusk hearte
20、dly in a leisure fashion.,原文分析及其参考译文,原文及分析,这儿水草肥美，让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,参考译文,The exuberant water plants are nutritious enough to make the sheep well-fed and chubby. Take a close-up look, you may notice their rich innocent expressions as well as white teeth.,翻译原文及其参考译文,翻译
21、原文,暮色中，河湾里落满云霞，与天际的颜色混合一起，分不清哪是流云哪是水湾。也就在这一幅绚烂的图画旁边，在河湾之畔，一群羊正在低头觅食。它们几乎没有一个顾得上抬起头来，看一眼这美丽的黄昏。也许它们要抓紧时间，在即将回家的最后一刻再次咀嚼。这是黄河滩上的一幕。牧羊人不见了，他不知在何处歇息。只有这些美丽生灵自由自在地享受着这个黄昏。这儿水草肥美，让它们长得肥滚滚的，像些胖娃娃。如果走近了，会发现它们那可爱的神情，洁白的牙齿，那丰富而单纯的表情。,参考译文,Right against the gorgeous background image, a herd of sheep are bendin
22、g their heads grazing on the riverside. Hardly any of them caring to raise their eyes for the beautiful twilight, the sheep seem to take every second as their last chew of the day before driven home. It is a picture of vividness on the Yellow River, with the shepherd resting himself in nowhere, leav
23、ing his lovely animals alone enjoying the dusk heartedly in a leisure fashion. The exuberant water plants are nutritious enough to make the sheep well-fed and chubby. Take a close-up look, you may notice their rich innocent expressions as well as white teeth.,一点请求,看了我ppt的同学，找我私聊反馈。内容包括：A.你对我ppt的评价； B.你想提出的建议；C.你的译文；（此项可不选in case你没做）D.你最近的备战情况。王进祥,
