1、第七单元令人烦恼的二十年岁盖尔希伊The trying twenties confronts us with the question of how to take hold in the adult world. Incandescent with our energies having outgrown the family and the formlessness of our transiting years, we are impatient to pour ourselves in the exactly right formour own way of living in the
2、 world. Or while looking for it, we want to try out some provisional form. For now we are not only trying to prove ourselves competent in the larger society but intensely aware of being on trial.令人烦恼的二十年岁使我们面临的问题是应如何在成人世界里立足。这时的我们精力最为充沛，已不再需要家庭的呵护，也已度过了转型期的稚嫩，正急于寻求一种最适合自己的生活 在这个世界上属于我们自己的生活方式。或者说，在寻
3、求生活模式之际，我们想尝试一下某种过渡性的方式，因为此刻我们不仅在努力证实自己在较大社会环境中的能力，而且还强烈地意识到正在进行尝试。Graduate student is a sage and familiar form for those who can afford it. Working toward a degree is something young people already know how to do. It postpones having to prove oneself in the bigger, bullying arena. Very few American
4、s had such a privilege before World War II; they reached the jumping-off point by the tender age of 16 or 18 or20 and had to make their move ready or not. But today, a quarter of a century is often spend before an individual is expected or expects himself to fix his lifes course. Or more. Given the
5、permissiveness to experiment, the prolonged schooling available, and the moratoria allowed, it is not unusual for an adventurer to be nearly 30 before firmly setting a course.对那些经济上能承受的人来说，读研究生是一种既稳妥又熟悉的方式。攻读学位已是年轻人所熟谙的生活。它使得我们不必过早地投身于令人生畏的社会大竞技场上去证实自己的能力。在二战前，很少美国人有这种深造的荣幸；在十六、十八或二十这样尚未成熟的年纪他们就到达了人
6、生的出发点，并且不论他们是否已作好准备，就必须采取行动。但今天，常常是在四分之一世纪的时间过去之后，一个人才被指望或自我期盼去选定自己的人生道路。或者所需时间更长。对一个冒险者而言，既然容许他去试验人生，延长求学的时间，或是暂且搁置一下学业，那么临近三十岁才确定人生道路也毫不为奇了。Today, the seven-year spread of this stage seems commonly to be from the ages of 22 to 28.今天，这一跨越七年的求学阶段似乎都介于 22 岁至 28 岁。The tasks of this period are enormous
7、 as they are exhilarating: to shape a dream, that vision of ones own possibilities in the world that will generate energy, aliveness, and hope; to prepare for a lifework; to find a mentor if possible; and to form the capacity for intimacy without losing in the process whatever constancy of self we h
8、ave thus far assembled. The first test structure must be erected around the life we choose to try.这一时期的任务令人振奋，同样也艰巨繁重：使梦想成形，即在这个激发能量、活力和希望的世界中发现自身的潜在价值。为毕生将从事的工作作些准备。可能的话，寻求一位良师益友。并且培养与人亲近的能力，在此过程中又不致丢失迄今为止所形成的真实的自我。人生的第一个考验必须围绕着我们选择尝试的生活而展开。One young man with vague aspirations of having his own cre
9、ative enterprise, for instance, wasnt sure if his torte would be photography or cabinetmaking or architecture. There was no sponsor in sight; his parents worked for the telephone company. So he took a job with Ma Bell. He married and together with his wife decided to postpone children indefinitely.
10、Once the structure was set, he could throw all his free-time energies into experimenting within it. Every weekend would find him behind a camera or building bookcases for friends, vigorously testing the various creative streaks that might lead him to a satisfying lifework.一个年轻人，对于如何展开自己富有创意的事业，志向未定，
11、他拿不定主意到底他最擅长的是摄影、木工还是建筑。眼前他找不到赞助人；他的父母都在电话公司工作。所以他最后在贝尔大妈那儿找了份工作。接着他结了婚，并与妻子一起决定无限期地延迟生孩子。一旦选择了这样的生活，他就能将所有业余时间的精力投入各种试验中。每个周末，他要么在忙着拍照，要么在为朋友做书橱，精力充沛地试验着各种创造性，这些创造性或许能引导他找到一种富有满足感的终身事业。Singlehood can be a life structure of the twenties, too. The daughter of an ego-boosting father, taught to try any
12、thing she wished so long as she didnt bait out before reaching the top, decided to become a traveling publicist. That meant being free to move from city to city as better jobs open up. The structure that best served her purpose was to remain unattached. She shared apartments and lived in womens hote
13、ls, having a wonderful time, until at 27 she landed the executive job of her dreams.单身同样也能成为二十几岁年轻人的一种生活方式。有一位女儿，她的父亲是一个自我意识很强的人，他教育女儿去尝试她所希望做的一切，只要她不达到最高的目标决不罢休，这女孩最终决定成为一名旅行广告员。这意味着只要有更好的工作机会，她就能在城市之间自由地迁移。最符合她目标的生活方式便是单身无牵挂。她与别人合住公寓，或住女子旅馆，日子过得十分快乐，直到 27 岁时她获得了梦寐以求的主管的职位。“I had no feeling of root
14、lessness because each time I moved, the next job offered a higher status or salary. And in every city I traveled, I would look up old friends from college and meet them for dinner. That gave me a stabilizing influence.”“我一点儿也没有飘泊不定的感觉，因为我每次搬迁，下一份工作都会带给我更高的职位或薪水。并且在每个我所游历的城市，我都会去探望一下大学时代的老朋友，并与他们共进晚餐
15、。这对我来说就起到了一种安定的作用。 ”At 30 Shazam! The same woman was suddenly married and pregnant with twins. Surrounded by totally new and unforeseen life structure, she was pleasantly baffled to find herself content. “I guess I was ready for a family without knowing it.”到了 30 岁 变！这位女士突然结了婚并怀上了一对双胞胎。一下子被一种全新而未曾预料
16、的生活所包围，她既困惑又高兴，发现自己对此十分满足。 “我猜想自己在不自觉中已做好成家的准备了。 ”The Trying Twenties is one of the longer and more stable periods, stable, that is, in comparison with the rockier passages that lead to and exit from it. Although each nail driven into our first external life structure is tentative, a tryout, once we
17、 have made our commitments we are convinced they are right ones. The momentum of exploring within the structure generally carries us through the twenties without a major disruption of it.令人烦恼的二十年岁是人生中一段较为漫长且更为稳定的一个阶段，说它稳定，则是与它之前和之后更为不稳定的人生阶段相比较而言的。虽然我们在外部世界初次寻求生活方式所进行的每一个实践都是不确定的、试探性的，然而一旦我们作出承诺，我们便
18、会坚信自己作出了正确的选择。而探索这种生活方式的动力通常会推动我们走过二十年岁的人生阶段，并不会瓦解而导致大的变化。One of the terrifying aspects of the twenties is the conviction that choices we make are irrevocable. If we choose a graduate school or join a firm, get married or dont marry, move to the suburbs or forego travel abroad, decide against childr
19、en or against a career, we fear in our marrow that we might have to live with that choice forever. It is largely a false fear. Change it not only possible; some alteration of our original choices is probably inevitable. But since in our twenties were new at making major life choices, we cannot imagi
20、ne that possibilities for a better integration will occur to us latter on, when some inner growth has taken place.二十年岁中令人害怕的一个方面是，我们都深信，一旦作出选择，便无可挽回。无论我们选择读研或参加工作，结婚或单身，搬入郊区或放弃出国旅行，放弃孩子或放弃事业，我们都会从骨子里害怕自己的一生就此定型了。而这种恐惧大都是没有道理的。变化不仅是可能的，而且对我们最初的选择作些更改甚至有可能是不可避免的。但既然我们在二十几岁时对于作出人生重大选择都没有经验，我们便无法想象到将来可能
21、会有更好的融合机遇出现在生活中，而那时我们的内心将变得成熟起来。Two impulses, as always, are at work during this period.在这一阶段往往有两股冲动的力量在发挥作用。One is to build a firm, safe structure for the future by making strong commitments, to be set. Yet people who slip into a ready-made form without much self-examination are likely to find them
22、selves following a locked-in pattern.一种冲动是通过作出郑重承诺，为将来选择一种稳定可靠的生活方式,并不再改变。然而许多人未经充分自省便进入某种现成的生活模式，却往往可能发现自己正过着一种固定不变的生活。The other urge is to explore and experiment, keeping any structure tentative and therefore easily reversible. Taken to the extreme by people who skip through their twenties from on
23、 trial job and one limited personal encounter to another, this becomes the transient pattern.另一种冲动是去探索和试验，使每种生活方式处于尝试性状态，因此很容易改变。有些人将这一冲动引向极端，他们在整个二十来岁阶段不停地更换工作，不停地结识新交。这便成为一种总在改变的生活方式。The balance stuck between these two impulses makes for differences in the way people pass through this period of pr
24、ovisional adulthood and largely determines the way we feel about ourselves at the end of it.如何平衡这两种冲动，便造成了人们在经历成年过渡期方面的差异，并很大程度上决定了我们在这个阶段结束时有怎样的自我感觉。The Power of Illusions幻想的力量However galvanizing our vision in the early twenties, it is far from being complete. Even while we are delighted to display
25、 our shiny new capacities, secret fears persist that we are not going to get away with it. Somebody is going to discover the imposter.无论我们在二十年岁早期如何激发着幻想，都远非十分完满。即使当我们高兴地施展着那些辉煌的新才能的时候，内心也始终害怕我们不会侥幸成功。总有人会发现我们其实是装模作样的骗子。To have seen the vivacious, 24-year-old junior executive at her work in a crack S
26、an Francisco public relations firm, one would probably not have guessed the trepidations underneath: “I realized that I had not grown up. I was amazed at how well I functioned at work. When clients would deal with me as an equal, Id think, I got away with it, but the feeling wasnt one of joy. It was
27、 terror that eventually they would find out I was just a child. Simply not equipped. The other half of the time, I would have tremendous confidence and arrogance about who I way a hotshot out there accomplishing all sorts of things and everybody thinking I was so terrific. I was like two people.”你见过
28、这位活泼的年仅 24 岁的初级女主管在旧金山一家第一流的公共关系公司上班的样子以后，你恐怕猜想不到她外表下内心的惶恐：“我知道自己还没有长大。我自己都惊讶在工作上我能表现得这么好。当客户平等地与我打交道时，我会想， 我侥幸成功了 ，但这种感觉并非喜悦，而是害怕他们最后会发现我只不过是个孩子而已。完全不具备什么能力。而另一半的时间里，我又对自己感到无比地自信和自傲，我 一个了不起的人，在工作中做到完成了各种各样的工作，每个人都认为我棒极了。我就像是两个不同的人似的。 ”Many of us are not consciously aware of such fears. With enough
29、surface bravado to fool the people we meet, we fool ourselves as well. But the memory of formlessness is never far beneath. So we hasten to try on lifes uniforms and possible partners, in search of the perfect fit.我们中的许多人尚未有意识地认识到这种恐惧。当我们表面的虚张声势足以愚弄我们所认识的人时，我们也在愚弄着自己。但是对自己尚未成型的记忆仍然清晰可寻。所以我们在追寻着最完美最合
30、适自己的一切的过程中，匆忙地尝试着各种生活方式和可能的伴侣。“Perfect” is that person, we imbue with the capacity to enliven and support our vision or the person we believe in and want to help. Two centuries ago, a fictional young poet in Germany, torn by his hopeless passion for the “perfect” woman, drank a glass of wine, raised
31、 a pistol, and put a bullet through his head. It was a shot heard round the world. The lovelorn dropout who fired it was the hero of Goethes novel The Sorrows of Young Werther, which contributed to the romantic movement that colors our expectations of love to this day. Goethe himself was a poet of 2
32、5 when he wrote the story. And like the fictional Werther, he suffered from an infatuation with a married woman, an unreachable woman, whose very mystery invited his fantasies of perfection. Goethes hero struck such a chord in young people throughout Europe that a wave of suicides followed the books
33、 publication.“完美”的人是那位被我们灌输在头脑中的能激活并支持我们幻想的人，或是那位我们信任并愿意帮助的人。两百年前，一个小说中的年轻德国诗人，他因对一位“完美”女人无望的爱情而备受折磨，喝下一杯酒后，举枪射穿了自己的脑袋。这一枪声响彻世界。打响这一枪的那位失恋的弃世者是哥德小说少年维特的烦恼书中的男主人公，这本小说促成的浪漫主义运动直到今天仍影响着我们对爱情的期望。当哥德写这本小说时，他自己正是个 25 岁的诗人。像小说中的维特一样，他痛苦地痴迷于一位结了婚的女人，一个得不到的女人，正是她的神秘激起了他对完美的幻想。哥德的主人公是如此地打动着全欧洲青年的心弦，以致于书出版后，掀
34、起了一股自杀的浪潮。Today, as then, its enlightening to speculate the degree to which a young man invents his romanticized version of the loved woman. She may be seen as the magical chameleon who will be a mother when he needs it and in the next instant the child requiring his protection, as well as the seduc
35、tress who proves his potency, the soother or anxieties (who shall have none of her own), the guarantor of his immortality through the conversion of his need. And to what degree does the young woman invent the man she marries? She often sees in him possibilities that on one else recognizes and pictur
36、es herself within his dreams as the one person who truly understands. Such illusions are stuff of which the twenties are made.今天，如同当时，思考一下年轻男子是如何虚构出他那浪漫化了的热恋女子，也很启人深思。她可以被看作是具有魔力的变色龙般的人物，在他需要母爱时便是一位母亲，下一个瞬间又成为需要他保护的孩子，既是能证明他性能力的风情万种的女子，又是忧虑时能抚慰他的女性（她自己则全无忧虑） ，而且还能通过为他传宗接代以保存他的不朽。那么年轻女子在多大程度上虚构出她将来的伴
37、侣呢？她经常在他身上看到其他人所未发现的能力，并把自己幻想成他梦中那位唯一了解他的知心人。这些幻想就是二十多岁的人所产生出来的。“Illusions” is usually thought of as a pejorative, something we should get rid of if we suspect we have it. The illusions of the twenties, however, may be essential to infuse our first commitments with excitement and intensity, and to s
38、ustain us in those commitments long enough to gain us some experience in living.“幻想”通常被视为贬义词，是我们一旦察觉自己有此念头就应排除的东西。然而，二十年岁时的幻想，对于激发和强化我们的最初承诺，对于支撑我们去履行承诺以获取生活经验来说，都可能是十分重要的。The tasks before us are exciting, conflicting, and sometimes overwhelming, but of one thing most of us are certain in our twenti
39、es.展现在我们面前的任务是令人兴奋、充满矛盾、有时又是势不可挡的，但有一件事对我们中大多数人来说是很确定的。Will power will overcome all.意志力将克服一切。Money may be scare, the loans and laundry endless. The evil bait of selling out may tempt the would-be doctor, writer, social worker. But clearly or so it seems, we have only to apply our strong minds and st
40、urdy wills to the wheel of life, and sooner or later our destiny will bend under our control.我们可能囊中羞涩。有考虑不完的金钱问题和处理不完的生活琐事。那些会让我们背弃理想的邪恶诱饵可能引诱着未来的医生、作家和社会工作者。但是很明显地，或看来如此，我们只有把我们坚强不屈的意志力运用到生活中去， 这样迟早我们的命运将掌握在自己的手中。A self-deception? Yes, in large part. But also a most useful modus operandi at this st
41、age. For if we didnt believe in the omnipotent force of our intelligence, if we were not convinced that we could will ourselves into being whatever kind of persons we wish to be, it wouldnt make much sense to try. Doubts immobilize. Believing that we are independent and competent enough to master th
42、e external tasks constantly fortifies us in our attempts to become so.这难道是自欺欺人么？是的，很大程度上是如此。但也是在这阶段的一种非常有益的做法。因为如果我们不相信我们的才智具有无所不能的力量，如果我们不是深信我们能凭意志使自己成为任何理想中的人物，那么尝试便没有什么意义了。疑虑会使你裹足不前。相信我们的独立性和才干足以让我们去驾驭外部世界的各种事务，这种信念在我们尝试着去这样做时不断地给予我们力量。One True Course in Life一条正确的人生道路If and when we feel we have m
43、ade a friend of the real world and are about to fix our course, a tone of optimism and vitality propels us forward in giant steps. We are most brimming with aliveness when we are just about to gain a solid form. This applies throughout life and to the different forms we may take. But upon discoverin
44、g our very first independent form, we may assume it is the forever one and cling to it obstinately.如果并且当我们感到能够与现实世界达成融洽并且即将确定我们的人生道路的时候，乐观精神和勃勃生机会推动我们大步前进。在我们即将形成自己的生活模式的时候，我们总是洋溢着生机。这种情况适用于整个人生，也适用于我们所选择的不同的生活模式。但是一旦我们第一次找到自己独立的生活模式时，我们可能认为这个模式将一成不变并将执着地固守着这一模式。That is why people in their twenties
45、commonly insist what they are doing is the one true course in life. Any suggestion that we are like our parents raises our hackles. What if we were to find out the truth? That the parental figures, unknowingly internalized as our guardians, provoke the very feeling of safety that allow us to dare al
46、l these great firsts of the twenties. They are also the inner dictators that hold us back.这就是为什么人们在他们二十多岁时普遍地坚信他们所选择的是一条唯一正确的人生道路。任何说我们像父母亲的暗示都会激怒我们。如果我们发现了事实真相会怎么样呢？父母的形象，潜移默化中已成为我们生活的向导，使我们产生安全感，使我们敢于在二十多岁时尝试所有那些了不起的第一次。父母的形象同时也是在我们内心深处告诫我们不要去冒险的发号施令者。To tell such a thing to most 25-year-old will
47、call forth howls of denial. This is precisely the interior reality from which each of us at this stage is trying to make a break. We are utterly convinced that all our notions spring full blown, as if by magic, from our own unique selves.对大多数 25 岁的人说这些将会招来他们的大声否认。这正是我们内心世界的真实反映，我们中每一个人在这个阶段都试图与之决裂。我
48、们深信，我们所有的观念都是一蹴而就般形成的，仿佛具有魔力一样，源于我们独一无二的自我。At all costs, any parts of our personality that might interfere with our chosen “one true course in life” must for the time being be buried. We cannot, will not, dare not know how strongly we are influenced by the deep tugs of the past: by identifications w
49、ith our parents and the defense mechanisms we learned in childhood. Indeed, if there is a blemish on our behavior or something annoying about the one we love, this is the age when we are certain all thats needed is to have it pointed out.不管怎么样，我们个性中任何可能影响我们选择“一条正确人生道路”的方面都将暂时被抹杀。我们不能、不愿而且也不敢去弄清我们多大程度上受到过去的影响：即与父母的同一性以及我们在童年时代所学会的防御机制。事实上，如果我们行为有什么瑕疵或者我们所爱的人有什么令人烦恼的地方，这个年纪我们确信所需要做的一切就是把那一点指出来。“If theres something about me you dont like, just tell me,” says the newlywed anxious to please. “Ill change it.” If he or she is not forthcoming with such an offer,
