1、Comment s1: However和 although不能连用，去掉 however。英语当中虽然和但是不能连用。Comment s2: 注意 it后的谓语动词要用单三形式，改为 preventsComment s3: 注意 limit的过去分词不用双写 t，改为 limitedComment s4: 注意单词拼写，捐赠者是 donator，并且要用复数形式，加 sComment s5: Priority一般不与stimulate搭配，可以换成 given，常用搭配为：give priority to sth.Many museums charge for admission while
2、others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum out weight the disadvantages?Museums can always attract great public attention for the significant role of protecting and spreading knowledge they play in the world. In order to better the maintenance of museum,
3、some people suggest that many should be requested for the entrance of museum. However, although I understand funds are crucial to improve exhibition quality and the protection of exhibits, I do not believe there are more advantages of charging for admission than disadvantages.The biggest shortage of
4、 charging entrance fee is that it prevent the visiting of some people especially the poor. Museum is a chest of human treasure. It plays an important role of education by collecting and displaying hundreds and thousands of items of different fields including arts, techniques, history, geography and
5、so on. They are the treasure of all humans, thus should be open to them all, especially for the poor who has limitted resource of learning. Moreover, museum is also an important place for research where plenty of students and researchers visiting almost every day. The entrance fee is highly probable
6、 to be unaffordable for them considering the frequency of their visiting.Although, there is no denying that charging for admission can gather a considerable amount of money, which is essential for the living of a museum. Museums will be overburden because they have to pay all the bills to maintain d
7、isplay items, organize educational activities and collect new items. However, these funds can be obtained from donatior, public organizations and the government.To sum up, the disadvantages of charging for museum is unaffordable, while public attention and government priority should be stimulated to guarantee the income of the museum.总点评：整体结构 文章按照开头、主题和结尾三部分展开，采用一边倒的写作结构，符合议论文的基本架构本文的两个分论点，后两个论证比较有力，Body1 最好能拆分成两段，显得更加充实，论证更加有力。文章逻辑body第二段让步后的 however可以再适当扩充。语言运用 参照本文的批注本篇文章得分：Fair
