1、希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅1Friends 剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！Joey: Cmon, youre going out with the guy! There
2、s gotta be something wrong with him!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?打住，乔伊，最下留德。他驼背？即驼背又戴假发？Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went th
3、rough with Carl- oh!我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.各位别急，这不算是约会。我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐，而不是做爱。Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是说我的约会。Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in t
4、he middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.记得中学时代的梦， 我站在自助餐厅， 突然发现自己全身赤裸。All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.我做过那样的梦。Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there. 我低头一看， 看见有一支电话在那儿。Joey: Instead of.?而不是？Chandler: Thats right.没错。Joey: Never had that dream.我没做过那样的梦Phoebe
5、: No.没有Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. 那支电话突然响起， 而我不知道怎么办， 每个人都开始望着我。Monica: And they werent looking at you before?!他们以前不看你吗？希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅2Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my m
6、other, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!结果是我妈打来， 我感到很奇怪， 因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?你还好吧？Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbe
7、d my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙 抓起我的肠子， 从我的口中取出， 然后绑在我脖子上Chandler: Cookie?要 饼干吗？Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.我帮你泡杯咖啡， 谢了。Ross: Thanks.Pho
8、ebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?不要别清理我的灵气。可是别碰我的灵气就是了。Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!好,继续痛苦吧Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.没有！行了吧？！真的，各位，我希望她开心Monica:
9、No you dont.不，你并不希望Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!是的，我不希望！去她的，她离开了我！Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian.而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know?不知道！行了吧！为什么每个人都提它？她都不知道，我怎么会知道？Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was
10、a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?有时候我希望自己是个同性恋我大声说出来了？Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.我昨天晚上给我父母说了，他们好像没有什么Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., “Ill never have grandchildren, Ill ne
11、ver have grandchildren.“ was what? A wrong number?希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅3真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话， 一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉， “我不能抱孙子了， 我不能抱孙子了。” 那是什么？打错了Ross: Sorry.对不起Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?没事的，罗斯，瞧，你现在感到很痛苦。你很生气，你很伤心，
12、我告诉你答案是什么？(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!脱衣舞酒店。 你单身，有性需求。Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!我不想单身的。 我只想再结婚。(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just
13、 want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)我只想要一百万！Monica: Rachel?!瑞秋？Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地。我到过你的住处，你不在。 有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿， 结果你
14、真的在这儿。Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?想来杯咖啡吗？Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? 想来杯咖啡吗？ 无咖啡因的。 各位，她叫瑞秋， 另一位从林肯高中生存
15、下来的人。这位叫钱德勒， 菲比，乔伊。 还记得我哥罗斯吗？Rachel: Hi, sure!当然。 Ross: Hi. 嗨(They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?你想现在告
16、诉我们， 还是等伴娘来再说？Rachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet n Lo?- I
17、realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doi
18、ng this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just 希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅4didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city.婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。 我在堆放礼物的房间里， 看着船形卤肉盘， 非常漂后的船形卤肉盘，突然间 有没有代糖？ 我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性
19、趣” 我自己都吓了一跳， 巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。 我一直都认为他很眼熟。 总之,我必须离开。 我开始想， 我为何这么做？ 我为谁这样做？ 于是我不知该走往何处， 我知道你我日渐疏远。 但是你是我在这个城市， 认识的唯一一个人。Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap o
20、n TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.这件事就甭提啦。Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. 我猜他送她一台管风琴， 她肯定不喜欢。Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！Ross: (in a deep voice) Ill have whatever Chri
21、stine is having.克里斯吃什么我就吃什么Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! 爸，我不能嫁给他 对不起，我只是不爱他。 对，是我的问题！(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.如果我没了头发，
22、还不如去死。Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.她不该穿那条裤子Joey: I say push her down the stairs. 我建议推她下楼Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!推她下楼！ 推她下楼！ 推她下楼！(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
23、Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I w
24、ant you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy!爸，你听我说 大家这样评价我这一辈子： 你是一只鞋 今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。 我说如果我想当皮包呢？ 或是帽子呢？ 不，我不需你帮我买帽子。 我说我是一顶帽子。 爸，这是一种比喻。Ross: You can see where hed have trouble.希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅5你看他有些问题Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with
25、Monica. 爸，这是我的人生。 或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.我想我们已经决定好谁将和莫妮卡住在这儿Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!或许那是我的决定。 或许我不希罕你的钱。 等一下，等一下我说的是或许！Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper ba
26、g.Monica: Just breathe, breathe thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. 深呼吸，就这样。 试着想着美好的事物Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string
27、. These are a few.玫瑰上的雨滴， 猫嘴上的胡须， 门铃和雪橇之类的。 啦 啦 啦 还有手套Rachel: Im all better now.我现在好多了Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!我帮上忙了Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.或许这样最好
28、，独立了，把握自己的生活，就像你说的帽子的事情Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.有任何需要找乔伊准没错。 我和钱德勒就住在对面， 而且他经常不在家。Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!乔伊，少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子Joey: What, like theres a rule o
29、r something?什么？有规定不能吗？(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.请不要在这样，声音很刺耳Paul: (over the intercom) Its, uh, its Paul.我是保罗Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!天啊，6:30 了吗？让他进来！Joey: Whos Paul?谁是保罗？Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?调酒的保罗？M
30、onica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?或许吧。 等等，你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧？希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅6Ross: He finally asked you out?他终于开口了。Monica: Yes!是的Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.终于被你等到了Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel.瑞秋，等等，我可以取消Rachel: Please, no, go,
31、thatd be fine!不用了，你去吧，我不会有事的Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?真的没事吗？你要我留下来吗？Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be good.那样最好Monica: (horrified) Really?真的吗?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!假的，去吧，是保罗，调酒师啊Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink
32、it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesnt know.)什么意思？他是卖酒的， 喝酒的，还是评酒的？(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is (They are all lined up next to the door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul.请进！ 保罗，这位是各位，各位，他就是保罗。All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!保罗调酒大师。Chand
33、ler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?抱歉，我没听清楚你名字。 保罗，是吗？Monica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.我马上就好，我去，去Ross: A wandering?神魂恍惚啦？Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.换衣服！请坐，两秒钟。Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes.
34、 That cant be good.我刚拔掉四根睫毛，不妙。(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul!嗨，保罗Paul: Yeah?有何指教？Joey: Heres a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅7一个小秘密，莫妮卡其实就喜欢这样， 你摩擦她脖子的同一个地方， 反反复复，直到
35、那里开始有点发红。Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!乔伊你给我闭嘴！Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight?瑞秋，你打算如何渡过今晚？Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!我应该在前往阿鲁巴渡蜜月的途中，因此没了！Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God
36、No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.我懂，你没去渡蜜月。 虽然阿鲁巴在此时 有很多大蜥蜴 如果你今晚不想独处， 乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家俱，Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and were
37、 very excited about it. 对，我们都相当兴奋。Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day.谢谢，但我今晚想待在这儿， 我折磨了一天。Ross: Okay, sure.好吧，当然Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?菲此，想帮忙吗？Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.我可以去， 但我不去。Commercial BreakSce
38、ne: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la
39、-la-la.ohhh!Scene: Rosss Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美，爱情是无与伦比的艺术品，但是，你的爱呀，你的爱，你的爱就像一只巨大的鸽子在我心里排泄。啦-啦- 啦 -啦-啦- 啦-啦，Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I ha
40、ve no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.我应该用蜗杆将托架装在侧面， 但我没看见托架和蜗杆，而且， 我的脚好麻。(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: Im thinking weve got a bookcase here.我想我们做好书架了。Chandler: Its a beautiful thing.真漂亮。Joey: (picking up a leftover part) Wha
41、ts this?这是什么？Chandler: I would have to say that is an L-shaped bracket.希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅8我只能说这是个“L”型托架。Joey: Which goes where?是哪的？Chandler: I have no idea.我不知道(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase!书架做好了！Chandler: All finished!终于做好了Ross: (clutch
42、ing a beer can and sniffing) This was Carols favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.这是卡罗最爱喝的啤酒。 她总是不用杯子喝，我早应该看出蛛丝马迹。Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if youre gonna start with that stuff were outta here.嗨 如果你再这样，我们就走了。Chandler: Yes, please dont spoil all this fun.对啊，请不要破坏这里的乐趣。J
43、oey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?罗斯，我问你一个问题。 她分得家俱，音响和好电视。 你分得什么？Ross: You guys.你们Chandler: Oh, God.嗯，天哪Joey: You got screwed.你昏头了啊Chandler: Oh my God!恩，天啊Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Monica: Oh my God!Paul: I k
44、now, I know, Im such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?我知道我是个白痴。他每周看四五次牙医师我就应该了解，我指牙齿能有多干净？Monica: My brothers going through that right now, hes such a mess. How did you get through it?我哥正承受着这种痛
45、苦， 一副失魂落魄的样子。 你是怎么熬过来的？Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-你可以不小心砸烂她贵着的东西，如她的Monica: -leg?她的 腿？Paul: (laughing) Thats one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.这样也不赖！我我砸烂了她的表。Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shr
46、edded by boyfriends favorite bath towel.你真的砸烂过她的表？ 哇！我做过的最坏的事情是， 我撕碎了男朋友最喜欢的浴希望对大家学校有帮助，如有错误，请见谅9巾。Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.嗯，机智脱身。 Monica: Thats right. Scene: Monicas Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.对啊。Rachel: Barry, Im sorry. I am so sorry. I know you probably think that
47、this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isnt. it isnt, its about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again. anyway.look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Fin
48、kel, but it isnt me, its not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too. (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)巴瑞，真是对不起。 你一定认为此事与我那次说的话有关， 关于你做爱时， 穿着袜子， 其实不是， 问题出在我身上，我 答录机又把我挂断了。 不管怎样瞧瞧，瞧瞧， 我知道某个女孩会不可思议的， 成为凡可?巴瑞太太，但那不是我，不是我。 而我现在连我自己是
49、谁都不知道， 但你还应该给我一个机会向你Scene: Rosss Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.Ross: Im divorced! Im only 26 and Im divorced!我离婚啦！我才 26 岁就离婚啦！Joey: Shut up!闭嘴！Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)你还是停下来吧！Ross: That only took me an hour.我才花了一小时Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta und
