英语 _写作 改编_教案_.doc

1、精锐教育学科教师辅导教案学员编号： 所属年级：小六 课 时 数：3学员姓名： 辅导科目：英语 学科教师：郭欢课程主题：写作 授课时间：2018-01-01 17:30-19:30学习目标1.掌握常见的作文写作体裁和写作套路。2.认识并避免常见的写作错误。3.掌握中考作文写作要求和技巧。教学内容1.回顾上次课内容一.（总）知识梳理【知识梳理】1.中考写作常见考查方式：作文专题一、语法问题1.主谓齐全作为一个句子，在一般情况下都应具备主语和谓语，但同学们写的句子经常出现主谓残缺不全的现象。V是有宾语补足语的及物动词。常带宾语补足语的词有形容词、副词、介词短语、名词、不定式、现在分词、过去分词。常见

2、的可接宾语补足语的动词很多，哪些动词可接哪几种形式作宾补，须根据动词的惯用法而定，不能统而概论。【例题精讲】1、found him out 缺少 主语 ,改为 I(He She.) found him out. 2、I saw him in 缺少 宾语 ,改为 I saw him at home.(in the school.) 【巩固练习】1、She in the school. 缺少 ,改为 2、Mr. Li from Beijing. 缺少 ,改为 Keys：谓语，She is in the school.谓语，Mr. Li comes/is from Beijing.2.关系一致这里包

3、括主谓关系的一致、代词指代关系的一致、句子前后时态关系的一致等等。例如：【例题精讲】（错误）In my eyes, we should do our best to achieve your goals.（正确）In my eyes, we should do our best to achieve our goals.我认为，为了实现目标，我们应该尽最大的努力。批注：人称的前后一致是作文中的重点，应避免因粗心所导致的错误，例如前面以 I 为叙述者，而后面又说 weshould。避免这类错误最好的方法就是写完作文以后一定要检查！【巩固练习】1、I usually swimming there.

4、 圈出句中错误，改为 2、There is many balloons. 圈出句中错误，改为 3、There are going to have a concert.圈出句中错误，改为 4、Alice gives me his books. 圈出句中错误，改为 Keys：1、I usually swim there. 2、 There are many balloons. 3、There are going to be a concert. 4、Alice gives me her books.3.词序恰当英语词的词序有些是有规则可循的，有些要根据作者强调的重点调整位置。4.前后连贯这是指一个

5、句子里的词语要衔接得当，关系清楚，合乎逻辑。5.简练不要堆砌修饰性词语。在没有把握的情况下，不要用从句，应该多用简单句。6.用词准确用词恰当，形容词副词，连词，介词等，位置和选词要注意，尽量用有把握的词。【例题精讲】1、Several hours after, he was surprised. 圈出句中错误，改为Several hours later, he was surprised.【巩固练习】1、He studies very hardly. 圈出句中错误，改为_2、W hen I was a small child. 圈出句中错误，改为_3、This film is very goo

6、d-looking. 圈出句中错误， 改为_Keys：1、He studies very hard. 2、 When I was a little child. 3、This film is very interesting.二、重点句子1.主旨句主题句一般位于段首，也可置于段尾或段中，考生最好放在段首，这样较易掌握和构思。位于段首：在英文中，大部分段落的第一句便是主题句。开门见山地提出问题，后面的扩展句围绕主题加以说明、支持、补充和解释;位于段尾：主题句位于段尾便于总结全段的内容，给读者以深刻的印象，是写作中的一种演绎方法;位于段中：位于段中的主题句起承上启下的作用，这类主题句多起转折作用，

7、一般由“but,however, yet, anyhow, nevertheless”等词连接，用于引起下文;无主题句：有的段落中无主题句，段落的主题思想通过文章内容来提示，这种方法能促使读者对文章内容进行思考和分析，但】考生一般不宜在考试中采用这种方法。批注：主题句要概括一定内容，不要空泛，否则扩展句将难以说明和支持它; 尽量使用简单句或简洁明了的句子; 主题句应该做到句子完整和表达的主题思想完整; 关键词是直接表达主题的词汇，它决定段落的内容和展开的方法，引导整个段落的发展【例题精讲】题目：请以 ” The importance of eyes” “眼睛的重要性”为题，写一篇不少于 60

8、单词的作文。主题句：Our eyes is very important. Without eyes the life will get dark. So we must protect our eyes.【巩固练习】题目：请以 ” My dream” “我的梦想”为题，写一篇不少于 60 单词的作文。主题句：_Keys: I like playing the piano and I good at it. So I want to become a piano player.(符合条件即可)2.扩展句围绕主题句展开，支持、说明和阐述主题句的句子便是扩展句。扩展句紧扣主题句中的关键词而展开，句

9、子与句子之间逻辑清楚，上下转承结合得当，简明扼要，重点突出。一般来说，每个自然段除了主题句与结尾句之外，还包含了 3-6 个扩展句。所以，写好了扩展句便基本上完成一个自然段落。做题时，一旦定下了主题和关键词，便按照自己的思路来组织段落中的句子，句子之间要具有连贯性，就必须由一系列的逻辑关系构成，例如：并列关系，因果关系，递进关系，转折关系，解释关系，概括关系，顺序关系，让步关系，对照、比较关系，转换关系等等，这些逻辑关系可由一系列的过渡词来体现。3.结尾句结尾句是对主旨句的呼应，它通常导出扩展句所陈述的结果。文章结尾的形式也是多种多样的，常见的有以下几种：1）首尾呼应，画龙点睛在文章的结尾，把

10、含义较深的话放在末尾，以点明主题，深化主题，起到画龙点睛的效果。如“I Cannot Forget Her” （我忘不了她）的结尾：After her death， I felt as if something were missing in my life. I was sad over her passing away， but I knew she would not have had any regrets at having given her life for the benefit of the people.2）重复主题句结尾回到文章开头阐明的中心思想或主题句上，达到强调的效果

11、。如“I Love My Home Town”（我爱家乡）的结尾：I love my home town, and I love its people. They too have changed. They are going all outto do more for the good of our motherland.3）自然结尾随着文章的结束，文章自然而然地结尾。如“Fishing”的结尾：I caught as many as twenty fish in two hours， but my brother caught many more. Tired from fishing，

12、 we lay down on the river bank， bathing in the sun. We returned home very late.4）含蓄性的结尾用比喻或含蓄的手法不直接点明作者的看法，而是让读者自己去领会和思考。如“A Day of Harvesting”（收割的日子）的结尾：Evening came before we realized it. We put down our sickles and looked at each other. Our clothes were wet with sweat， but on every face there was

13、 a smile.5）用反问结尾虽然形式是问句，但意义却是肯定的，并具有特别的强调作用，引起读者深思。如“Should We Learn to Do Housework？”（我们要不要学做家务？） 的结尾。Everyone should learn to do housework. Dont you agree， boys and girls？6）指明方向，激励读者结尾表示对将来的展望，或期待读者投入行动。如“Lets Go in for Sports”（让我们参加体育运动）的结尾：As we have said above, sports can be of great value. The

14、y not only make people live happily but also help people to learn virtues and do their work better. A sound mind is in a sound body. Lets go in for sports.批注：文章的结尾没有一定的模式，可以根据表达主题的需要灵活创造。一般的习惯是，一些记叙文和描写文经常采用自然结尾的方法；但说理性和逻辑性较强的说明文和议论文则往往都有结束语，以便使文章首尾呼应，结构完整。2.中考学生作文水平分析根据历年中考阅卷老师总结，总体上来说，中考学生作文分为五类：（

15、1）优秀学生作文：结构清晰、开头语与结尾语短小精悍、能使用精彩句或词语,这是平时训练有素之结果，即为 A 类作文。（2）中等偏上学生作文：结构蛮清晰，但是句子中出现少许语法错误，即为 B 类作文。（3）中等学生作文：结构上稍有欠缺，句中有少许语法错误，即为 C 类作文。（4）中等偏下学生作文：从结构上来说，阅卷者能看到学生所要表述的内容，但是语法错误铺天盖地，此类作文为 D 类作文。（5）学困生作文：这些学生对于作文来说，一是看不懂，则无从下手，所以只能抄个题目，然后或是空着，或是写个拼音等等敷衍了事；二是有一部分学生纯粹是抄阅读理解中的句子，结果可想而知，只能以 0 分收场。此类 0 到 4

16、 分作文为 E 类作文。3.写作体裁及写作套路记叙文记叙文是以叙述为主要表达方法，按照一定的时间或者空间顺序记录生活中的经历和事物的发展过程。记叙文通常有两大类：侧重于写人的称为人物记叙文；侧重于叙事的称为叙事记叙文。 记叙文要求抓住主题，然后使用相关细节加以说明。记叙文一般有六大要素：时间、地点、人物、事件、原因和结果。写人时要交代清楚人物、时间、地点和事件；叙事时要讲清楚事情的前因后果和发展过程。记叙文常用来叙述往事，因此谓语动词常使用过去时态。记叙文中还可以适当地进行描写，使得人物、场景生动活泼，增加文章的感染力。（1）写人写人要写出个性，所谓的个性是指人的脾气性格、兴趣爱好和思想品质等

17、方面的特点。脾气性格涉及：热心的( warm-hearted)、大方的(generous)、耐心的(patient)、热情的(enthusiastic)、淘气的(naughty)、没耐心的(impatient)等；兴趣爱好涉及：足球迷(a football fan)、影迷(a movie fan)、喜欢吃意大利食品(a fanof Italian food)、喜欢跳舞(like dancing)、喜欢打篮球(like playing basketball)等；思想品质涉及：善良的( kind)、诚实的(honest)、忘我的(selfless)、不诚实的(dishonest)、狡猾的(cunn

18、ing) 、自私的(selfish)等。人物的个性不能一两句话泛泛而谈，必须通过具体的事情反映出来，这样内容就会充实，才令人信服。常用的方法是通过一件事情反映一个人的特点；也可以列举几个事例反映一个人的一个或者几个特点。通过一件事反映一个人的特点，以作文题“Our Monitor”为例：(1) Our monitors name is Linda. (2) She is very kind and helpful. (3)1 0nce caught a bad cold and got a high fever. (4) The doctor told me to stay in bed fo

19、r several days before I fully recovered. (5)I missed the lessons on Chinese, math and English, and l was having a lot of trouble. (6) When l was worried about my studies, Linda came to see me and brought her lesson notes to me. (7) She helped me to deal with the missed lessons.(8) With her help,I ma

20、naged to catch up. (9) Linda is really a good monitor!该短文通过作者由于生病缺课，得到班长帮助一事，反映了班长乐于助人的良好品质。短文由三个部分组成。第一部分(PI)介绍人物，确定主题；第二部分(P)具体描写人物，交代事件的过程；第三部分(P)重复第一部分的主题思想，起到强调作用。写作套路 1：PI S(1)介绍人物S(2)确定主题，表明作者对人物的看法P S(3)事件的背景S(4)细节说明 1S(5)细节说明 2S(6)人物的行为S(7)细节说明 1S(8)细节说明 2P S(9)重复作者对人物的看法列举几个事例反映一个人的特点，以作文题

21、“My Mother”为例：(1) My mother is a teacher at a secondary school. (2) She is a kind woman and busy with her work. (3) As a teacher, she loves her students. (4) If they have any difficulty with their studies, she will help them patiently. (5) She is never tired of answering their questions. (6) As a mo

22、ther, she takes good care of me. (7) Every morning she is always the first to get up and prepares breakfast for me. (8) When I am in trouble, she tries to cheer me up and says its not the end of the world. (9) My mother seems to be busy all the year round. (10) She goes to work in the morning and co

23、mes home late in the afternoon. (11) Then she does all the housework and puts everything in order. (12) She is praised and respected by everyone.文章由三部分组成。第一、二句为第一部分，介绍人物并且确定主题思想。第二部分列举了三个事例说明妈妈的特点(She is a kind woman and busy with her work.)：作为教师热爱学生，作为母亲关心我，以及一年到头忙忙碌碌。最后部分是作者对妈妈的评价，与主题思想首尾相顾。这种方法也可

24、用来描写一个人身上的多种特点，每个事例针对一个特点加以说明，给读者留下一个比较鲜明、有血有肉的形象。写作套路 2：PI S(1)介绍人物S(2)确定主题，表明作者对人物的看法P S(3)事例 IS(4)细节说明 1S(5)细节说明 2S(6)事例S(7)细节说明 lS(8)细节说明 2S(9)事例S(10)细节说明 1S(11)细节说明 2P S(12)作者的评价在写人的时候可以采用以上两种套路。它们的最大特点是结构严密、安排合理、层次清楚，内容丰富、语句连贯、容易操作。（2）写物写物的作文一般按照空间顺序展开。按照空间顺序就是按照物体、景观和场所的空间关系展开。写作时首先选择一个着眼点，然后

25、从下到上或从上到下，从内到外或从外到内，从东到西或从南到北，从近到远或从远到近拓展。在文章中还需要使用表示方位的词语，使文章的脉络有条不紊。使用空间顺序法写物，以作文题“Our Classroom Building”为例：，(1) Our classroom building is in the north of our school. (2) It has four floors, with five classrooms on each floor. (3) On the first floor, there is a gym. (4) In the gym, we do physical

26、 exercises and play sports together. (5) On the second floor, we have science labs. (6) We study physics and chemistry in the labs. (7) The language lab is on the third floor. (8) We have English lessons there and have opportunities for English films and television programs. (9) On the top floor, th

27、ere is a library and a reading room. (10) The library opens only in the afternoons. (11) We can borrow books from it.(12) The reading room is open to us from Monday to Friday. (13) We like to get together there and discuss about everything, from important plans, movie stars, the latest news to comme

28、nts on our teachers. (14) In short, the classroom building is a total activity and fun zone of our school.文章第一句表明教学楼所在的位置。第二句确定描写内容，即教学楼内部的情况。从第三句开始介绍各个楼层的情况，每个层面都有细节描述。写作套路 3：PI S(1)介绍景物方位S(2)确定描写范围P S(3)位置 lS(4)细节S(5)位置 2S(6)细节S(7)位置 3S(8)细节S(9)位置 4S(10)细节 1S(11)细节 2S(12)细节 3S(13)细节 4P S(14)作者的评价（

29、3）叙事这类作文要求考生叙述生活中有意义的或者印象深刻的一件事情。写作应以空间顺序或者时间顺序为基本线索展开。这些表示空间或者时间的词语都是理顺文章条理的信号词，要特别注意。使用空间顺序法叙事，以作文题“A Visit to Nanpu Bridge” 为例；(1) Last week we visited Nanpu Bridge over the Huangpu River. (2) Its a great destination for visitors because of all the attractions. (3) In the blue sky above the bridg

30、e,I saw little white clouds and flying birds. (4) They enjoyed freedom high up in the sky. (5) On the bridge,I saw a lot of cars and trucks. (6) The traffic was moving steadily and without difficulty. (7) The highlight of the trip came when we walked across the bridge and looked down at the Huangpu

31、River. (8) From there we got a wonderful view of Shanghai along the river. (9) The river ran through the city and was sparkling in the sun. (10) Many ships were passing under the bridge. (11) This visit was really impressive!这篇文章按照从上到下的空间顺序进行叙述。方位词语“above the bridge, on the bridge, across the bridge

32、, under the bridge”的运用，使得文章的条理十分清晰。文章从第 7 句开始叙述游览最精彩的部分，所以相关细节就更加充实。写作套路 4：PI S(1)介绍人物、时间和地点S(2)确走主题，表明作者对事件的态度P S(3)位置 IS(4)细节S(5)位置S(6)细节S(7)位置S(8)细节 1S(9)细节 2S(10)细节 3P S(ll)作者的评价使用时间顺序法叙事，以作文题“What a Day!”为例：(1) Yesterday we had a math exam and I had the worst sort of luck. (2)I had prepared my

33、lessons well the night before and didnt go to bed until 12 oclock. (3)I didnt forget to set the alarm clock and hoped it would call me at half past six m the morning. (4) But when l woke up the next morning, it was already seven. (5)I immediately put on my clothes and rushed to the bus stop. (6)Luck

34、ily,it didnt take me long to get on the bus. (7)Shortly after l got on the bus,I found I got on the wrong one. (8) So I got off and took a taxi to the school. (9) It never rains but it pours. (10) When I hurried into the classroom, to my surprise,I found I had left my schoolbag on the taxi. (11) Wha

35、t a day!文章按照时间顺序展开。第一句交代了事件背景和文章主题(I had the worst sort of luck.)。叙述从考试前一天晚上开始，一直到作者冲进教室后发现忘了拿书包时结束，生动描写了作者运气坏透了的一天。时间词语的运用，使得文章的时间节点非常清晰，叙述非常流畅。写作套路 5：PI S(1)介绍背景和主题P S(2)时间节点 IS(3)细节S(4)时间节点S(5)细节 1S(6)细节 2S(7)时间节点S(8)细节 1S(9)细节 2S(10)时间节点P S(ll)作者的评价4.中考作文常见错误分析5.作文常见错误标题书写错误文章标题（title）应写在纸的第一行的中

36、间，和正文之间应隔一至四行。文章标题的第一个单词的第一个字母必须大写。标题中每一个实词的第一个字母也要大写。错误标题：a good Friend of mine正确标题：A Good Friend of Mine文章标题一般由名词、名词词组、介词短语、动名词、动名词短语或句子来充当。当陈述句作为文章标题，末尾不用句号。但如果是问句，末尾应用问号；如果标题是感叹句或祈使句，句尾用感叹号。错误标题：Make Our Country Green正确标题：Make Our Country Green！6.作文常见错误审题失误有些考生在审题时不够仔细，往往还没有看清题意就急于下笔，偏离了主题。例如，某省

37、中考作文要求考生写一项自己最喜欢的课外活动。有些考生却将作文的主题定位为“我最喜欢的活动” ，偏离了“自己最喜欢的课外活动”的主题。根据中考作文的评分原则，若作文不切题，则不管语言如何规范、用词如何准确，都会被判为零分。请看下面的失误文章：Im a middle school student. I learn many subjects at school. At school, my classmates and I often take part in different school activities. Im interested in computer science and I

38、often take part in the computer activities in my school. At school, many of my school friends enjoys ball games, racing, music, dancing, art and so on. I learn to get useful things from the Internet. I think it is important to learn to use computers because they are used everywhere in our modern lif

39、e. There is no doubt that computers will be more and more useful.这篇文章通篇没有涉及课外活动这个主题，犯了审题不清的错误。需要指出的是，有些学生虽然审题成功了，但又犯了扣题不紧的错误。文章中的一些句子与主题思想无关，违反了单一性的原则。中考英语书面表达题的篇幅非常有限，因此，考生在写作时务必要精心组织教材，紧扣主题。下面这篇文章就有扣题不紧的问题。7.作文常见错误用词不当书面表达题除了要注意结构严谨、条理清楚和句子流畅之外，还有按照语法规则遣词造句。这是写作最基本的要求，否则就无法准确地传情达意。请看以下文章：要求：李华平时总是

40、忙于功课，很少做家务。母亲节这一天，她想帮妈妈做饭，却不小心切了手指，本想让妈妈在节日期间好好休息，却未能如愿。以“On Mothers Day”为题写一篇词数为 80 词左右的短文。要求条理清晰、意思连贯、语句通顺、标点正确。原文：Im usually busy with my studies and do few housework when I come back from school. It was Mothers Day yesterday. I wanted Mum to have a good rest and I did all instead her. I got up e

41、arly yesterday morning and bought a lot of vegetables, fish and meat in the market. I washed them and then began to cook. I was sure I could do as well like Mum. Bad luck! I cut one of my fingers and cried out. Mum and Dad rushed into and Mum asked Dad to take me to the hospital. When we came back,

42、dinner ready. I felt sorry and said, ”Mum had a busy Mothers Day again!”点评：1.第一句中的“housework”是不可数名词，应用 little 来修饰。2.第三句中的“instead” 是副词，后不能接宾语，这儿应该用 instead of。3.第六句中的“like”虽然可用作介词，意为 “像”，但这儿是 asas结构，因此此处应改为 as well as。4.第九句中的“into”是介词，其后要接宾语。但是该句中并无宾语，所以改为副词 in。5.第十句中的“ready”是形容词，不能单独作谓语，所以要使用动词 be，

43、组成一个句子。修改后的文章：Im usually busy with my studies and do little housework when I come back from school. It was Mothers Day yesterday. I wanted Mum to have a good rest and I did all instead of her. I got up early in the morning and bought a lot of vegetables, fish and meat in the market. I washed them an

44、d then began to cook. I was sure I could do as well as Mum. Bad luck! I cut one of my fingers and cried out. Mum and Dad rushed into and Mum asked Dad to take me to the hospital. When we came back, dinner was ready. I felt sorry and said, ”Mum has a busy Mothers Day again!”下面的文章也存在同样的问题。要求：请你写一篇介绍上海

45、东方明珠电视塔（Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower）的文章，词数 70 词左右。原文：Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower stands on the east side of the Huangpu River. It is visited by thousands of people everyday. Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower is 468 meters. Its the tallest TV tower in Asia. We can see the whole city easily f

46、rom the top of the tower. The building began in 1991 and was completed in 1994. And soon it was opened to public. Now everyday a lot of people visit it. It has become the centre of culture, entertainment and tourism in Shanghai.点评：1.第二句“It is visited by thousands of people everyday.”与第八句“Now everyda

47、y a lot of people visit it.”同义重复，没有必要。另外，everyday 是形容词，表示“每天发生或使用的”，例如：everyday English。用作状语时，应该分开，写成 every day。2.第三句“Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower is 468 meters.”当中少了 high，应该补上。意思是：“上海东方明珠电视塔的标高是 468 米。”3.第五句中的“easily” 用词不确切。可以改成 clearly，意思是“ 清晰地”，或者用其他表达方式。4.第七句中的“public”一词前应加上定冠词。 be open to t

48、he public 意思是“向公众开放” 。修改后的文章：Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower stands on the east side of the Huangpu River. This TV Tower is 468 meters high, and its the tallest one in Asia. Within seconds, a lift can take us to the top. From there we can see the whole city of Shanghai. On a clear day, we can even see the Yangtze River. The building began in 1991 and was completed in 1994. And soon it was open to public. Now, a lot of people visit it every day. It has become one of the tourist attractions in Shanghai.8.作文常见错误中式英语不同的民族具有不同的语言表达习惯。中国学生在用英语写作时经常会受