1、英语 3bAfter much thought, I came up with a brilliant plan for Rich to meet my mother and win her over. In fact, I arranged it so my mother would want to cook a meal especially for him. One day, my mother called me, to invite me to a birthday dinner for my father. My brother Vincent was bringing his g
2、irlfriend, Lisa Lum. I could bring a friend, too. I knew she would do this, because cooking was how my mother expressed her love, her pride, her power, and her proof that she knew more than anyone else. “Just be sure to tell her later that her cooking was the best you ever tasted,“ I told Rich. “Bel
3、ieve me.“ The eve of the dinner, I sat in the kitchen watching her cook, waiting for the right moment to tell her about our marriage plans, that we had decided to get married next July, about seven months away. She was cubing garlic and slicing cabbage into small pieces and chatting at the same time
4、 about Auntie Suyuan:“She can only cook looking at directions. My instructions are in my fingers. I know what secret ingredients to put in just by using my nose!“ And she was slicing so quickly, seemingly not paying attention to her sharp chopping knife, that I was afraid the tips of her fingers wou
5、ld become one of the ingredients of the purple vegetable and pork dish. I was hoping she would say something first concerning Rich. I had seen her expression when she opened the door, her forced smile as she surveyed him from head to toe, checking her judgment of him against that already given to he
6、r by Auntie Suyuan. I tried to anticipate what criticisms she would have. Rich was not only not Chinese, he was also my junior, a few years younger than I was. And unfortunately, he looked much younger with his curly red hair, smooth pale skin, and the splash of orange freckles across his nose. He w
7、as a bit on the short side, compactly built. In his dark business suits, he looked nice but easily forgettable, like somebodys nephew at a funeral. This was why I didnt notice him the first year we worked together at the firm. But, my mother noticed everything. “So what do you think of Rich?“ I fina
8、lly asked, holding my breath. She tossed the garlic in the hot oil, which bubbled in a loud, angry sound. “So many spots on his face,“ she said. I could feel the goose bumps rise on my back. “Theyre freckles. Freckles are good luck, you know,“ I felt compelled to defend on his behalf, a bit too heat
9、edly as I raised my voice above the noise of the kitchen. “Oh?“ She said innocently. “Yes, the more spots the better. Everybody knows that.“ She considered this a moment and then smiled and spoke in a Chinese dialect:“Maybe this is true. When you were young, you got the chicken pox. So many spots, y
10、ou had to stay home for ten days.So lucky, you thought.“ I couldnt save Rich in the kitchen. And I couldnt save him later at the dinner table either. He had brought a bottle of French wine, something he did not know my parents could not appreciate. My parents did not even own appropriate glasses for
11、 wine. And then he also made the mistake of drinking not one but two frosted glasses full, while everybody else had a half-inch “just for taste“. But the worst happened when Rich criticized my mothers cooking, and he didnt even have a clue about what he had done. As is the Chinese cooks custom, my m
12、other always made negative remarks about her own cooking. That night she chose to direct it toward her famous steamed pork and preserved vegetable dish, which she always served with special pride. “Ai! This dish not salty enough, no flavor,“ she complained, after tasting a small bite. “It is too bad
13、 to eat.“ This was our familys cue to eat some and proclaim it the best she had ever made. But before we could be so diplomatic, Rich said, “You know, all it needs is a little soy sauce.“ And he proceeded to pour a riverful of the salty black stuff on the china plate, right before my mothers shocked
14、 eyes. And even though I was hopeful throughout the dinner that my mother would somehow see Richs kindness, his sense of humor and charm, I knew he had failed miserably in her eyes. Rich obviously had had a different opinion on how the evening had gone. When we got home that night, after we put Shos
15、hana to bed, he said modestly, “Well, I think we hit it off A-OK.“ 经过反复思考，我终于想出了一个绝妙的计划：让里奇与我妈妈见面，并把她争取过来。事实上，让我妈妈特地为他掌勺烧饭是我做的安排。一天，妈妈打电话给我，要我参加爸爸的生日宴。我弟弟文森特将带上他的女友莉萨卢姆。我也可以带一个朋友去。我知道妈妈会亲自下厨的，因为烧菜做饭是表达她的爱、她的自豪和她在家中权力的方式，也可用以证明她比其他任何人都懂得多。“千万记住在饭后告诉我妈妈，说她做的饭菜是你吃过的饭菜中最可口的， ”我对里奇说。 “相信我的话。 ”爸爸生日宴的前夜，我坐
16、在厨房里看着妈妈忙乎，等待合适的时机来告诉她我们的结婚计划。我们已决定在 7月结婚，大约还有 7个月的时间。她正在把大蒜切成小方块，把卷心菜切成小片，同时闲聊着有关素媛姨妈的事：“她只会看着烹饪指南烧菜，而我对烹饪了如指掌。我只要用鼻子闻闻就知道该放什么佐料了！”她切得很快，好像一点也不注意她手中那把锋利的切菜刀，我真害怕她的手指尖也会成为紫色蔬菜烧猪肉的佐料。我希望她会先提起里奇。我注意到了她开门时的面部表情，她当时勉强地笑了笑，从头到脚地打量着里奇，以验证素媛阿姨对里奇的评价。我尽力设想她会有哪些不满意的地方。里奇不仅不是华人，而且他还比我小几岁。更糟的是，由于他那头红色的卷发、光洁白晰的
17、皮肤以及鼻子两边一片桔黄色的雀斑，他看上去比我年轻了很多。他稍微矮了一点，长得很结实。他身穿深色套装，看上去讨人喜欢，但让人过眼就忘，就像追悼会上遇见的某个人的侄子。这就是为什么我们在公司里一起工作的第一年里我没有注意到他的原因。但是我妈妈却把一切都看在了眼里。“你认为里奇怎么样？”终于，我屏住呼吸问道。她把大蒜扔进了烧热的油锅里，发出了刺耳的响声。“他脸上那么多斑点， ”她说。我听后感到背上起了鸡皮疙瘩。 “那是雀斑，你知道雀斑象征着好运。”我感到我得为他辩解。我提高嗓门压倒厨房里的噪声，我自己也感到我太激动了点。“哦，是吗？” 她不经意地说。“是的，雀斑越多越好。人人都知道这一点。 ”她想
18、了一会儿，然后笑了，接着用汉语方言说：“也许是这样。你小时候得过水痘。长了许多小痘痘，你只好在家里呆了 10天。可真走运啊，你想想！” 我在厨房里救不了里奇，后来在餐桌上我也救不了他。他买了瓶法国葡萄酒，并不知道我父母不喜欢这玩意儿，我父母甚至连像样的红酒杯也没有。接着他又犯了个错误：他喝了不是一杯，而是满满两大毛玻璃杯的葡萄酒，而其他人的杯子里都只有半英寸高的酒，大家只是“尝尝而已” 。最糟糕的是他批评了我妈妈的烹饪手艺，而他竟然没意识到自己做了什么。我妈妈总是要对她自己的烹饪发表一些评论，说一些自己的菜烧得不好之类的话，这是中国厨师的习惯。那晚她原打算说说自己的拿手菜梅干菜蒸肉，上这个菜时她总是特别得意。“唉，这个菜不够咸，没味道， ”尝了一小口后，她抱怨道。 “太难吃了。 ”这句话在我们家意味着让大家来尝一点，并且还要说这道菜是妈妈做得最好的一次。但是我们还没能来得及说一些这样圆滑得体的话，里奇就说：“嗯，这菜只需要加一点点酱油。 ”接着他无视我母亲惊诧的眼光，把许多咸乎乎、黑溜溜的东西倒进了瓷盘里。虽然吃饭时，我一直希望我妈妈能从某种角度看到里奇的善良、幽默感和魅力，但是我清楚里奇在她的眼里已经是一败涂地了。很显然，里奇对那晚有完全不同的看法。那晚我们回到家里，安置肖莎娜上床睡觉后，他谦虚地说：“嗯，我觉得我们相处得很不错。 ”
