1、Scene:Chandler and Monicas apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Could this be right?Monica: I know.God. I havent seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all
2、 our money?Chandler: Im not sure what they did.but Im inclined to blame xxx?.Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, were spending more than were bringing in.Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.Monica: Oh.But youre finally doing something that you love! I cant ask you to giv
3、e that up. Though itd be nice if the thing that you love was.yknow.finding gold.Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think were making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month. And maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of
4、 Joeys refridgerator for a change. Youre a chef.what can you make out of baking soda and beer?Monica: Ok worse case scenario is.we borrow some money from my parents.Chandler: No! Were not borrowing money.Monica: Why not?Chandler: Because we dont do that. We are Bings! And if theres one thing my fath
5、er taught me was.well to always knock before going into the poolhouse.But the other thing was.never borrow money.Monica: Wow! I had no idea you had this much pride.Chandler: Thats right! I do! And Im your man. And im going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.O
6、pening CreditsScene:Phoebes apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.Mike: Im gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek.)Phoebe: Why?Mike: I havent been home in a couple of days and I need to get somemore clothes.Phoebe: Oh.you dont have to go.I have something t
7、hat will fit you.Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.Phoebe: I want you to stay.Mike: I want to stay too but Ive got about as much out of these boxers as I can.Phoebe: Why dont you turn them inside out?Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued.) Ill be back in a couple of hours.Phoebe:
8、 Ill miss you.Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.)Mike: You know what? I just realized something. I dont wanna go home.Phoebe: Great! Ok.Ill go get the tube top.Mike: No, no! What I mean is.I hate going back to my apartment now.And partly because I live above a known crac
9、k den but.mostly because when Im there.Its just.i really miss you. So.Do you want to move in together?Phoebe: Wow.Mike Hannigan.You sure know how to make a girl say “Hell yeah!“.Mike: So were doing it?Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do it! Lets live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe.)Phoebe: Oh god.
10、Were really going to move in together!Mike: Yeah!Phoebe: Ive always wanted to live with a guy.“Pick up your socks!“ “Put down the toilet seat!“ “No! Were not having sex anymore!“ Its gonna be fun!Scene:Joeys apartment. Monica enters.Monica: Hey Joey!Joey: Hey!Monica: Listen.I need to know that what
11、Im about to ask you will never get back to Chandler.(Joey frowns.then looks as if he understands.)Joey: Id be lying if I said I havent thought about it myself.Chandler is my best friend.It would be wrong. Good.(He winks.) .But wrong.Monica: :(Looks exasperated.) Ok first of all.It would be great. Bu
12、t thats not what Im here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.Joey: Awww.I dont know Monica.You know.erm.lending friends money is always a mistake.Monica: But Chandler lent you money!Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.Monica: Come on.I just need it for some rent and.an
13、d some other bills.Joey: Oh.how much?Monica: Two thousand dollars?Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?Monica: Yeah.Joey: Thats right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters.)Rachel: Hi you guys!Joey Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the c
14、ouch. Ross walks in.Ross: Hey guys.Chandler and Monica: Hey.Ross: What?s up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)Chandler: You know?Oh My God.Monica: What happened to your teeth.Ross: I whitened them.Chandler: (Sarcastically) Really.Ross: Yeah. What do you think.Monica: Well, I think I shoul
15、dn?t look directly at them.Ross: Come on, seriously.Monica: Ross they?re really, really, really white.Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old?human teeth.Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.Monica: How much longer?Ross: A-A day.Monica: Ross you know that tonight
16、is your date with Hillary?Ross: I know. That?s why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?Chandler: No, no no no. You?ll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillary?s bind, right?Monica: She will be after tonight.Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)Ross: Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you noti
17、ce anythingahh?Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.Chandler: What?Monica: Oh my god.Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just?made out. And the cra
18、ziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she?d heard all year.Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.Monica: My God, Rachel, I can?t believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I?m so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)Chandler: Hi,
19、 I?m Chandler. Your live-in boyMonica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, who?s
20、the silver fox?Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Don?t you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.Phoebe: That?s not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.Rachel: What?Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesn?t look anything like th
21、at guy. He?s-he?s young and he?s got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, that?s not Ralph Lauren. That?s Kenny the copy guy.Phoebe: What?Rachel: OhGoOhand I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate m
22、e even more. Phoebe!Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?Rachel: To get you to make out with him!Phoebe: Ohhh.Scene: Ross?s Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.
23、) Nope. Okay, colors that don?t work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.Ross: I don?t know what I?m going to do. That date starts in like an hour.Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn?t look so bright.Ross: Oh great. So all I need to do is ge
24、t some new skin. Thank you.Monica: I?m just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.Ross: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We?re not 13 anymore.Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.Ross: But, won?t she notice I have makeup on?Monica: Please. Half the guys out there have
25、makeup on.Ross: What?Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH! Demon! Demon!Scene: Chandler?s and Monica?s
26、 apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.Monica: Now are drawers will smell nice and we didn?t waste these pantyhose.Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? I?m going to go over to Joey?s.Monica: Wait, we?re supposed t
27、o organize the wrapping paper drawer.Chandler: Yes, but I feel like I?ve really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think we?re two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. You?re right, I?m sorry.Chand
28、ler: Nah, Nah, it?s okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joey?s. Go over to Joey?s and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.Chandler: You know when guys hang out they don?t just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?Monica:
29、 When girls hang out, we don?t have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) I?m sorry. We do. We do. I don?t know why I said that.Scene: Joey and Janine?s apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in
30、. We?re knitting pot holders.Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.Scene: Ross?s apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if? Oh my God! Where are all the men?Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kim?s waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is ins
31、ide.Rachel: Ohh, hi, Kim.Kim: Hi Rachel.Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didn?t happen.Kim: You didn?t cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?Rachel: Okay, two things didn?t happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room
32、? Well, it turns out that?s not true.Kim: That?s not true?Rachel: No.Kim: Oh that?s interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.Kim
33、: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.Rachel: I-I don?t want your job. I-I don?t. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I don?t even know how to use my keyca
34、rd. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)Kim: Hi Ralph.Ralph Lauren: Hi Kim. (Dead silence until Ralph gets off the elevator.)Kim: Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.Scene: Hillary?s apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mo
35、uth.Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.Ross: Mmm-Hmm.Hillary: And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.Ross: Mmm.Hillary: You know, you?re a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.Ross: Mm-Hmm.Hillary: After a while it?s like, shu
36、t your mouth, you know?Ross: (Chuckling) Hmm-Hmm.Hillary: I?ve probably been talking too much. Why don?t we talk about you a little bit?Ross: Mmm-Unmm.Hillary: Come on. I want to know.Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city
37、for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, let?s talk more about you. Hmm.Scene: Joey and Janine?s apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.Joey: So what?s really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first
38、in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because I?m going to teach you to make a bird fee
39、der out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?Joey: What?Chandler: You?re arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a b
40、aby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers they?re just, you know, they?re nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.Chandler: You?re turning into a women.Joey: No I?m not. Why would you say that? That?s
41、just mean.Chandler: Now I?ve upset you? What did I say?Joey: It?s not what you said. It?s the way you said it?.Oh My God, I?m a women!Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there.Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.Phoebe: But why didn?t you just tell her
42、 the truth.Rachel: I did but she doesn?t think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ev
43、er think of that?Rachel: You were with Kenny today, weren?t you?Phoebe: Just for a second.Rachel: Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do?Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.Rachel: I?m not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn?t.Phoebe: Ohh, sleep w
44、ith Kenny.Rachel: That wouldn?t help me.Phoebe: Ohh, yes it would.Scene: Hillary?s apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.Hillary: I?ve had a really good time tonight.Ross: Mmm.Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.Ross: (Giggling) Hmm-Hmm-Hmm.
45、 (Picking up a piece of bread and covering his mouth.) Me, neither. I?ve had a really good time too, you know. (Putting the bread down.)Hillary: Are you going to eat that bread?Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.Hillary: (Laughing) You make me l
46、augh.Ross: Hmm-Hmm.Hillary: Would you like to move over to the couch?Ross: Mmm-Hmm. (Picking up their wine glasses.)Hillary: Maybe I?ll just turn the lights down a little.Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.Hillary: Okay. (She goes to turn the lights off and Ross sits on
47、 the couch. She has some black light posters on the wall.)Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?Hillary: Are those your teeth?Ross: Ohh, you can see t
48、hem, huh?Hillary: Yes. They?re insanely white.Ross: I-I, did that for you.Hillary: What?s a matter with you?Ross: What?s a matter with me? You?ve got a black light. It?s 1999!Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.Rachel: Kim, hi.Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, I?ve been mea
49、ning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.Rachel: OkayOkay Look. I?m sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.Kim: Oh, really?Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, “Rachel, I can?t do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I can?t do this. I?m married and I?m sorry.“ And then I don?t know why but he said, “and you will never get promoted. Especially not abo
