1、Compiled by Scott Song, ,1,Welcome to Writing in the Academic World,Instructor: Scott Song,Compiled by Scott Song, ,2,Chapter 3 Effective Sentences (1),Unity Coherence Sentence variety Exercises,Compiled by Scott Song, ,3,1. Unity (P. 30),What is Unity? Every sentence should contain a central idea (
2、一致性原则). Examples Building could be constructed high to save land, and also some constructions are repetition. This sentence has two different ideas, so it is a poor sentence and confusing.,idea one,idea two,Compiled by Scott Song, ,4,Unity,Identify whether the following sentences are good ones or la
3、cking of unity. E.g. 1 English is difficult to learn and to become proficient we must use it often. Answer: lack of unity (exclusiveness of main idea, 主题思想的唯一性) (and 连接 “to learn” 和“to become proficient”, 两者表达的意思不一致, 违背了主题思想的唯一性),Compiled by Scott Song, ,5,Unity,How do you revise it? English is diff
4、icult to learn and no one can learn it without effort. E.g. 2: Giving birth to a child, I found another job. Answer: lack of unity (relativity of main idea, 主题思想的相关性) “Giving birth to a child” 和 “I found another job”不相关,违背了主题思想的相关性.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,6,Unity,How do you revise it? After giving
5、 birth to a child, I found another job. 加上了”after” 后,句子便有了时间的连贯和动作的顺承.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,7,2. Coherence,What is Coherence? Coherence means that parts of a sentence are arranged in such a way that they stick together for one central point(连贯性原则). How to achieve coherence? Use conjunction, repe
6、tition skills, and other transitional expressions.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,8,Coherence,Example: Whenever a neighbor dropped in, it was a joy. How do you revise it? Whenever a neighbor dropped in, I (we, our family) felt a joy. The drop in of a neighbor brought great joy to the family.,What does “it
7、” refer to? It is not clear.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,9,This two sentences have different ideas.,Coherence,Example: using transitional expressions such as conjunctions. The college campus is located in the center of the city, it is very easy for me to do my shopping. How do you revise it? Using coor
8、dinating conjunctions such as and, but , for, or, nor, so, yet to connect the two sentences.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,10,Coherence,The college campus is located in the center of the city, so it is very easy for me to do my shopping.,Now the relation of the two sentences become clear: it is a “cause
9、and effect” relation.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,11,“but” introduces a “contradiction” relation for the two clauses.,Coherence,Example: My writing is good, my mathematics is not satisfactory. How do you revise the sentence with two independent clause? My writing is good, but my mathematics is not sati
10、sfactory.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,12,Coherence- Parallelism,2.1 Parallelism Parallelism using the same grammatical structure for all the items in a sentence that have the same function (平行结构原则: 是把两个或两个以上意思并列的成分用同等语法形式表达，如果意思上并列的成分用不同等的语法形式来表达，就破坏了其平行结构).,Compiled by Scott Song, ,13,Coherence- Paral
11、lelism,平行的结构可以是单词、词组，也可以是从句甚至句子。 Examples: Honest, kind, helpful Keep us fit, make us energetic, protest us against illness I am from Shenzhen, I am a student, I want become a teacher after graduation,Compiled by Scott Song, ,14,Coherence-Parallelism,Examples: He is honest, kind, and helpful.Doing e
12、xercise can keep us fit, make us energetic, and protect us against illness.,“and”连接 三个结构相同的短语.,“and”连接 三个词性相同的单词,Compiled by Scott Song, ,15,“and”连接 三个that引导的宾语从句.,Coherence-Parallelism,Example: I want to tell you that I am from Shenzhen, that I am a student, and that I want become a teacher after g
13、raduation.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,16,Coherence - Parallelism,Exercise: find out the problem in the following sentences and correct the mistakes. 1. If a publisher rejects a novel, it is either because the story is unsaleable or the author is unknown. Answer: If a publisher rejects a novel, it is e
14、ither because the story is unsaleable or because the author is unknown.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,17,Coherence - Parallelism,2. Our new car not is only more user-friendly, but also it is more comfortable than our old one. Answer: Our new car is not only more user-friendly, but also more comfortable t
15、han our old one. eitheror, neithernor, not onlybut also, bothand 等关联并列连接词（correlative conjunction）用于连接意思并列的成分，所以每个连词后所跟的成分必须有相同的语法形式。,Compiled by Scott Song, ,18,Coherence -Reference,What is reference? Reference is the cross relation of different parts within a sentence (指称一致性原则:是指句中指代成分和指称对象要一致). 代
16、词包括: 人称代词(personal pronoun)和关系代词(relative pronoun) He, she, he, it, we, they, you Which, that ,Compiled by Scott Song, ,19,Coherence -Reference,Examples: A. Jane asked Mary if she could go to the party.How do you revise it? Jane asked Mary if Mary could go to the party.,What does “she” refer to? Its
17、 not clear.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,20,Coherence -Reference,Which modifies the Whole sentence before comma.,Examples: B. I threw his paper into the dustbin which annoyed him. C. I threw his paper into the dustbin, which annoyed him. What does “which” refer to in B and C, respectively?,Which modifie
18、s “dustbin”.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,21,Coherence -Reference,Examples: D. People are strongly opposed to the deceptive(欺骗性的) practice in medicine, which will do harm to the medical profession. E. Li Ming put the earrings and a new necklace into a box, which he would give to his girl friend.,It is n
19、ot clear what the non-restrictive clause is modifying.,We dont know what Li Ming would give to his girl friend.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,22,3. Sentence Variety,What is sentence variety? Use different sentence structures to express different ideas (写作雖然句子以清晰為重，但是同時也要兼顧不同的句型，讓文章閱讀起來有所變化。) E.g. I got a
20、 part-time job last term. I taught English to a seven-year-old girl. This was my first time to work. I liked it. The work was not hard. I gave her lessons at her home once a week.,Problems: Monotonous, “I” appears too often.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,23,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,3.1 Varied B
21、eginnings - choose different subjects with different structures of the sentences. There are eight choices: 3.1.1 prepositional Phrase E.g. He made a phone call. He then went to the cinema. a. Before going to the cinema, he made a phone call.,Problem: Two subjects “he”.,Now the sentence is varied wit
22、h only one subject “he”.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,24,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. You will get the letter. You will get it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Revised: within a day or two you will get the letter. 3.1.2 Infinitive Phrase E.g. He wanted to find an answer, so he had consulte
23、d many books in the library. Revised: To find an answer, he had consulted many books in the library.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,25,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,3.1.3 Participle Phrase E.g. When he felt tired, he went to bed early. Revised: Feeling tired, he went to bed early. E.g. Because they w
24、orked this way, they completed the construction ahead of time. Revised: Working this way, they completed the construction ahead of time.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,26,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,3.1.4 Gerund E.g. People think that it is rather formal to use the family name. Revised: Using the f
25、amily name is regarded as being rather formal. E.g. People usually use casual English to write to friends. Revised: Writing to friends typically uses casual English.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,27,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,3.1.5 Adjective E.g. Because he was young and strong, he was the first
26、to reach the top of the mountain. Revised: Young and strong, he was the first to reach the top of the mountain.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,28,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. He wanted to please her, so he bought a bunch of flowers. Revised: Eager to please her, he bought a bunch of flowers. 3.
27、1.6 Adverb E.g. I personally think I should have the holiday next week. Revised: Personally, I prefer to have the holiday next week.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,29,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. He is really strange that he hasnt been here for some time. Revised: Strangely, he hasnt been here
28、for some time 3.1.7 Subjective Clause E.g. He said something to me, which terrified me. Revised: What he said terrified me.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,30,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. The reason for her to leave was still a mystery. Revised: Why she left remained a mystery. 3.1.8 Sentence St
29、aring with It E.g. Men enjoy more power and wealth than women is quite certain. Revised: It is quite certain that Men enjoy more power and wealth than women.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,31,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,3.2 Varied Structures See examples 3.22 Varied Style 1. Loose sentence (松散句) 意义
30、重心前移，开门见山传达句子主旨。因而，相对简单易懂，表达自然，直截了当。 Feature: the main idea comes first,Compiled by Scott Song, ,32,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. She decided to study English though she was interested in music. The following is not a loose sentence. Though she was interested in music, She decided to study
31、 English. E.g. He is unhappy because he has to work overtime tonight. Because he has to work overtime tonight, He is unhappy.,Main idea first,Main idea first,Compiled by Scott Song, ,33,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,2. Periodic sentence (掉尾句) 意义重心后移，掉尾句给读者一个悬念直到读完句子才知道其中心思想，因而，相对较复杂，具有强调性、文学性，正
32、式文体特点。 E.g. Though she was interested in music, she finally decided to study English.,Create suspense,Compiled by Scott Song, ,34,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. Because he has to work overtime tonight, He is unhappy. 3. Balanced sentence (平行句) 结构平行相似，意义相对。平行结构对照鲜明、节奏感强，因而印象深刻、悦耳动听。 E.g. The politician is concerned with successful elections, whereas the statesman is interested in the future of his people.,Emphasize the cause,Compiled by Scott Song, ,35,Sentence Variety Varied Beginnings,E.g. The more you write, the more you can write.,Compiled by Scott Song, ,36,Exercises,
