1、2014 年 12 月无老师优秀范例：“To spend, or not to spend: that is the question.” When it comes to government expenditure on space project, the debate in both the community and the common world has come to a vogue. Should government spend a considerable amount of money on exploration of the universe, as asserte
2、d by scientists, scholars, and government officials; or should these money go to more pressing issues of the day, as the poor and the miserable maintains? As for me I commit to the notion that space technology, though impractical at first glance, is of vital importance to humankind, and is therefore
3、 worthy of our taxes.无老师优秀翻译：“剁手，还是不剁，这是个问题”当涉及到政府对于空间探索的投资，坊间关于这一点的争论已经甚嚣尘上。政府应该把很多钱花到空间探索上么，就像科学家，学者和政府官员所宣扬的那样；亦或者应该把钱花在今天更迫切的事情上，比如说穷人救济和低保户的救济？对我来说，我赞成空间科技，虽然乍看上去不是很实际，但是其实对于人类来说很重要，我们的纳税花在这上也更值得。无老师平庸范例：”To spend, or not to spend, that is a question” When we talk about spending money on space
4、travelling, there are a lot of questions on this. Should the government spend money on space travelling, just as scientiests, scholars, and governments said; or should they spend the money on others important things, just like giving money to the poor people and disabled people? For me, I will suppo
5、rt the space travelling, although they are not real, but they are important for people, our taxes should invest in them.无老师精析：本文的作者，应该特别符合广大中国考生的口味。原因有 3 点：第一，思路正统，完全按照我们书写的套路来写，首先引入出题，然后列出两方意见，最后给出自己的意见。第二，写得好模仿。开头就是万能的 To be, or not to be 的变体，容易磨坊。第三，有用，好模仿。come to a vogue， comes to 这样的固定搭配。好了，话不多
6、说，亮家伙！第一句，优秀范例“To spend, or not to spend: that is the question.” When it comes to government expenditure on space project, the debate in both the community and the common world has come to a vogue.对比平庸范例”To spend, or not to spend, that is a question” When we talk about spending money on space travel
7、ling, there are a lot of questions on this.首先优秀范例能想到用 To be, or not to be 这样的表达方式本来就很赞，而且想一想，这个貌似是可以作为万能开头的。就是把be，spend 换做主题词，就可以作为任何一篇作文的开头。很漂亮！接下来，有时我们的老朋友，固定搭配“it comes to”拿出来替代土土的 when we talk about 真是太赞了！而且本文的作者，一大优点就是词汇量够凶悍！“expenditure”“space project”“debate in”用词都还蛮书面化的，加分！而且接下来的“the communi
8、ty and the common world”虽然直译过来，中文没有很大差别，但是稍有一点出师表之中的“宫中府中俱为一体”的感觉，又是显示出自己的词汇量的强大。而且优秀范例最后的 come to a vogue，赞()/！不仅因为优秀范例没有落入俗套的用 popular，而且作者在用 vogue 这个词的时候，也没有用他的形容词词性，而是用了它的名词词性，这个是很漂亮的。第二句，优秀范例 Should government spend a considerable amount of money on exploration of the universe, as asserted by s
9、cientists, scholars, and government officials; or should these money go to more pressing issues of the day, as the poor and the miserable maintains?对比平庸范例 Should the government spend money on space travelling, just as scientists, scholars, and governments said; or should they spend the money on othe
10、rs important things, just like giving money to the poor people and disabled people?在本句之中优秀范例的优点在于两点，第一点：是在于句型结构的多样性，第二点是在于词汇量的丰富。结构的多样性在于 2 点，should这样的疑问句，而不是我们平时常用的陈述句，第二点 as asserted by 也是我们平时不常用到的句型。接下来再说词汇，当说到空间探索，写的是 exploration of the universe，而不是前文中用到的 space project，赞！然后接下来，某人说，没有用平庸范例的 scien
11、tiests, scholars, and governments said 这种表达方式，而是用了比较少见的过去分词的表达形式，再加一分。后半句 pressing issues 这个表达方法用的地道！赞！充分显示了作者平时阅读量的丰富！至于最后的 miserable maintains 这就厉害了，虽然不是特别的地道，但是能用到 miserable 这个词，这就厉害了！这可是悲惨世界名字之中所用的词汇。每一个词拿出来都是加分点。这么多加分点，不拿高分都难！最后一句，优秀范例 As for me I commit to the notion that space technology, tho
12、ugh impractical at first glance, is of vital importance to humankind, and is therefore worthy of our taxes.对比平庸范例 For me, I will support the space travelling, although they are not real, but they are important for people, our taxes should invest in them.其实在这里对比平庸范例就能看出来，当表示“我支持 XXX”的时候，我们总是在用 I supp
13、ort 或者 I agree with，但是在本文之中作者用到了地道的 As for me I commit to the notion that，加分！而且更漂亮的是后面，though impractical at first glance 这个从句不仅用在句中，而不是句首，而且还用到了 at first glance 这样精细打磨的表达方式，这已经不仅是词汇量丰富了，这里还体现出作者论理的精如发丝，先退一步，然后进而击之！漂亮！而且本句话最后的表达方式也非常的灵活！is of vital importance，想一想，我们平时最常用的也就是 very important，在这里坐着不仅用到
14、了 be of vital，而且还把我们常用的形容词 important 用到了名词形式 importance，加分！至于最后一部分，其实最大的亮点是在于作者已经跳出了英翻中限制，已经开始直接用英文的表达方式来表达，因为按照中文的语序，翻译过来的表达方式应该像是平庸范例的 our taxes should invest in them.但是优秀范例用的是 is worthy of 进行连接，结果 our taxes 做的是宾语，这就是每一种语言都有自己的表达方式，想写的好的话，都要慢慢的记住对应的英文的表达方式，而不是做生硬的词对词的翻译，这是要通过多阅读多思考，来积累的。敲下这最后一行的时候
15、，2015 年新年钟声即将敲响，小伙伴们，新年快乐！么么哒！2014 年 11 月无老师优秀范例：While most people take vacations as an opportunity to relax, I like to take them as opportunity to discover myself and challenge myself. Good food and good friends are great for relaxing, but they are not priorities if Im seeking to push my individual
16、 boundaries. A good location, however, can provide a worthwhile challenge that food and friends alone will notmy one month in North Europe thoroughly convinced me of that. Learning a new language, meeting new people, learning to live with only what I could fit into a backpackthese were the challenge
17、s that this new location threw at me. Even today, I still consider the experience an important part of my coming of age (成年).无老师优秀翻译：当大多数人把假期当做是一个放松的机会，我则是把假期当做是一个发现自我和挑战自我的机会。美食和伙伴纵然会让我们放松，但是如果我想提升自己的话，他们就不是第一选择了。但是，一个新的目的地【想想无老师为什么会这么翻译】，可以提供一个有益的挑战，这都是食物和朋友无法提供的，我的一个月在北欧的旅行让我知道这一切。学习一门新的语言，结交新的人，
18、学者作一名背包客【想想无老师为什么会这么翻译】，这些挑战都是一个新的目的地让我一定会学到的【想想无老师为什么会这么翻译】。即使是在今天，我仍然认为这样的经验作为成年礼的重要一部分无老师平庸范例：When every people take the holiday as an opportunity of relaxing, I take the holiday as an opportunity of finding myself and challenging myself. Although good food and food friends will make me relax, th
19、ey are not the first choice if we want to improve myself. But a new place will give me a good challenge, and foods and friends can not offer, one months North Europe holiday let me know. Learning a new language, meeting new people, learning how to be a tourist they are the challenges that a new plac
20、e will let me know. In present days, I still think that these experiences are important parts of adult.无老师精析：又是一篇以表达多样取胜优秀作文，读起来有一种读书人的如沐春风的感觉。第一句，优秀范例 While most people take vacations as an opportunity to relax, I like to take them as opportunity to discover myself and challenge myself.对比平庸范例When e
21、very people take the holiday as an opportunity of relaxing, I take the holiday as an opportunity of finding myself and challenging myself.其实在这里，优秀范例第一个亮点在于用 take them 的这个 them 来替代前文出现的vacations，虽然是很小的事情，但是既避免了相同词汇反复出现，又增强了句子的逻辑连接性，可以说写的还不错。接下来 discover 和 challenge 就写得还好，只要能想到，自然会写出来。导师平庸范例的 find 写的很
22、烂，因为 find应该是已经找到的意思，所以放在这里词不达意。第二句，优秀范例 Good food and good friends are great for relaxing, but they are not priorities if Im seeking to push my individual boundaries.对比平庸范例 Although good food and food friends will make me relax, they are not the first choice if we want to improve myself.其实优秀范例的开头，两个
23、 good 写的还好，不算很漂亮，但是后半句开始发力，首先 priority 这个词用的很好！相比于平庸范例的 the first choice 书面了很多！优秀范例尤其漂亮的是最后的 push my individual boundaries 直译过来是“推我的边界”，但是实际上的意思是让自己的能力慢慢增加，也就是提升自己的意思，写的很赞！快拿小本记下来！第三句，优秀范例，不错哦！A good location, however, can provide a worthwhile challenge that food and friends alone will notmy one mon
24、ths in North Europe thoroughly convinced me of that.对比平庸范例 But a new place will give me a good challenge, and foods and friends can not offer, one months North Europe holiday let me know.说实话，优秀范例的这个开头，也不是很好，因为这里的location，乍一看上去没头没脑，跟前文无法产生联系，也不知道作者到底想表达什么，如果能加上 compared of that，或者 compared of Good fo
25、od and good friends，就让人跟前文产生逻辑连接了，就容易懂了。接下来，优秀范例第一个亮点在于 worthwhile 这个词的使用，显示出作者还不错的词汇量，而不是像平庸范例一样简单的重复good，而且接下来的一个 that 从句也用的很妙，没有像平庸范例一样用 and 进行单纯的连接，而是用 that 从句本身的 not 转折，把这种冲突表现出来，是本句最大的亮点！当然，最后一个亮点就在于句末的 convinced me of that，有使用一个代词 that 替代了前文所描述的自己所获得了什么，点题！就是这么有才，任性！反观平庸范例的 let me know一是显得口语化
26、，二是显得啰嗦了。第四句话，有趣了！优秀范例 Learning a new language, meeting new people, learning to live with only what I could fit into a backpackthese were the challenges that this new location threw at me.平庸范例 Learning a new language, meeting new people, learing how to be a tourist they are the challenges that a new
27、 place will let me know.优秀范例的开头依旧没什么亮点 Learning a new language, meeting new people 只能算是中规中矩，但是很快亮点来啦！首先 live with 一个固定搭配，漂亮！而且还配上了only，进行程度的限定，显的更细致，接下来马上又甩出一发 fit into，固定搭配，加分！至于最后的 backpack，想到中文就能写到，但是能顺畅的写出 live with only what I could fit into a backpack，这是功夫！而且最后的 threw at写的特形象！硬抛过来，也就是自己必须接受，没有
28、其他选择，因此无老师的中文翻译是“让我一定会学到的”，因为你必须接受，所以你不可能不学到！最后这里写的太精彩了！画面感都出来了！最后一句凤尾，优秀范例 Even today, I still consider the experience an important part of my coming of age (成年).对比平庸范例 In present days, I still think that these experiences are importants parts of adult.优秀范例的 Even today 简洁，凌厉！中间的 I still consider th
29、e experience an important part of 依旧是中规中矩，但是最后的固定搭配coming of age 漂亮！固定搭配，表示“成年，成年礼”用在这里跟前面的 experience 前后呼应，恰到好处！几乎已经做到了毫厘之准！精彩！这篇优秀作文，显示出的就是阅读量的胜利，人家就是阅读量大，表达方式就是比你丰富，实力上不是一个级别！2014 年 10 月无老师优秀范例：Besides, young people right now are all excellent supporters, but never activists. Along with the sprea
30、d of Facebook and Twitter, you can quickly advocate a claim or support each other with Like or tweets. It is a high-return investment: with just a single click, you can represent your support to reform, care about the environment and love for minorities and at the same time, relieve your own guilt f
31、or not doing anything. “Ive already done my best.” You can comfort yourself like this. However, even though the minorities are flattered with your support, they are still fighting alone. Support is important, but what we value the most is action. Sometimes we miss old times teenagers, those built ba
32、rricades in the streets of Paris in French Revolution or took off his own coat and gave it to you in a cold winter night, 1940s Beijing. They couldnt learn others difficulties quickly and comprehensively like we do today. However, once they met a person in need, they would lead a helping hand.无老师优秀翻
33、译：除此之外，年轻人现在是很好的支持者，但是并不是行动者。随着 Facebook 和 Twitter 的出现，你可以很快发表自己的观点、或者支持其中的一方通过点赞或者发推。这是一个高回报的投资：只需要轻点鼠标，你就可以发表你对改革的支持，对环境的关心，以及对少数族裔的爱，与此同时，还能抚平你因为没有做任何事情而应该有的愧疚。“我已经尽了全力了。”你可以用这样的方式来安慰自己。但是，哪怕少数族裔收到了你拍的马屁，他们仍然需要独自迎战。支持固然有价值，但是我们最珍视的还是行动。有时，我们怀想以前的青年人，那些在法国大革命时期，在巴黎街头设置路障的青年人，亦或者是在十九世纪 50 年代的北京，脱下自
34、己的外套，在寒冷的冬天把外套给你的青年人。他们不能像我们当代年轻人一样快速并且全面地了解他人的困难。但是，一旦当他们遇到一个需要帮助的人，他们会第一个伸出援手。无老师平庸范例：Except, Young people are good supporters, but they are not good activitists. With the start of the Facebook and the twitter, you can quickly say your opinion, or support one side of the battle by “Support” or twe
35、et. This is a good money investment: you just point your mouse, then you can say your support for the reform, say the worry for the environment, say the love to the minorities, and at the same time, it can release the guilty for not doing anything. “I have done everything.” You can use this way to r
36、elease yourself. But even though the the minorities have heard these words, they have to face everything by themselves. Support have their value, but we need the action. Sometimes, we will miss the old young people, they are the people who build barricades in the streets of Paris in French Revolutio
37、n or in the 1940s winter of Beijing took off their own coat to give it to you. They would not understand other peoples difficulties, and take all the todays action. But, when they face a person who need help, they would be the first to give their help.无老师精析：当我们在评价戏曲的时候，我们会说唱念做打俱佳，但是当我们评价一篇文章的时候该按照什么
38、标准呢？这个角度就很多了。本篇优秀托福作文的亮点与其他的又有差别，有的作文是思想深刻，有的作文是文思优美，有的文章是用词精巧，往往都是单点突破，但是本段文章在思想深刻、遣词造句地道上都做得非常好，这是很难得的！低调高冷的第一句，优秀范例 Besides, young people right now are all excellent supporters, but never activists.对比平庸范例的第一句 Except, Young people are good supporters, but they are not good activitists.其实优秀范例的第一句，刚
39、看上去的时候，不会有什么感觉的，第一没有惊艳的词汇，第二没有华丽的句式。但是当我们再对比平庸范例的时候，就发现优秀范例的 right now 和 never 用的非常好！首先是 right now 写出这样一个时间点，这是一静，接下来 never，这是一个很长的时间段，这是一动。这里的一静一动的配合本身，十分的漂亮！第二句，深刻的来了！优秀范例 Along with the spread of Facebook and Twitter, you can quickly advocate a claim or support each other with Like or tweets.平庸范例
40、 With the start of the Facebook and the twitter, you can quickly say your opinion, or support one side of the battle by “Support” or tweet.在这里，请小伙伴们注意无老师翻译的方式，这里没有翻译成 Facebook and Twitter 的传播，而是翻译成了“Facebook 和 Twitter 的出现”，其实主要是为了迎合中国人的表达方式和美国人表达方式的差别，相应的，反过来小伙伴们再写随着 XXX 的出现，其实就可以考虑with the spread o
41、f，而不是像平庸范例一样 With the start of，因为美国人会想 Facebook and the twitter 的“ 开发”跟你有什么关系呢？你只是个使用者啊！真不知道你们中国人想表达什么。然后优秀范例的 advocate a claim 单纯的就是写的地道，记下来就好了。不过优秀范例接下来的 with Like or tweets 其实很有意思，无老师之前讲过，这里再说一遍，就是美国人表达“用”的时候，很少写 when we use XXX to，在这里很少用动词 use，而是想这里的优秀范例一样，用 with 来解决问题。这也是表达方式的差异，要知道，只有你意识到这种差别，
42、你才能写出来地道的作文，否则当你都不知道的地道的英语怎么写的时候，又怎能写出漂亮的文章呢。顺带提一句，这其实也就是为什么很多英文翻译过来的书，很难读，也就是这个原因，也就是因为翻译的人英语功底不够好，因此出现了很多词不达意的情况，所以你就读不懂了。第三句就是很漂亮且深刻的并列长句，优秀范例 It is a high-return investment: with just a single click, you can represent your support to reform, care about the environment and love for minorities and
43、 at the same time, relieve your own guilt for not doing anything.对比平庸范例This is a good money investment: you just point your mouse, then you can say your support for the reform, say the worry for the environment, say the love to the minorities, and at the same time, it can release the guilty for not
44、doing anything.首先优秀范例 with just a single click，对比平庸范例 you just point your mouse，我们就会发现优秀范例颇有四两拨千金的感觉，单纯一个 single click 到底 click 什么了呢？人家不说，但是通过前后文我们知道，这里是在说用互联网，因此我们知道这里一定是在说点击鼠标，说的很抽象，但是很准确，而且一个 single还表达出了这件事情的轻巧！相比于平庸范例的 point your mouse， “点老鼠“难道你在拿着魔杖变东西么？！然后再接下来优秀范例做了一件很有趣的事，不知道小伙伴们有没有发现，就是 3 个名
45、词 support、care 和 love 都是动词作名词来做 represent 的宾语，写的赞那！而且改革也没有写revolution 而是用了 reform，也很赞啊！词汇量丰富啊！至于最后的 relieve your own guilt for not doing anything，只能感叹作者笔锋的辛辣，这不是英语的问题，而是思想深刻，是 critical thinking，学不来的。当然必须提一句就是配guilty，优秀范例的 relieve 比平庸范例的 release 稍微准确一点点！精悍的第五句和第六句，优秀范例“Ive already done my best.” You
46、can comfort yourself like this.对比平庸范例的“I have done everything.” You can use this way to release yourself.优秀范例 have done my best，稍微地道一点点。其后的 comfort yourself like this 非常的精炼，其实 comfort yourself 也够了，但是平庸范例不仅写的很啰嗦，写得很不地道，而且重复用了 comfort 这个词，用词没有多样性，减分减分减分！辛辣的第七句，优秀范例 However, even though the minorities
47、are flattered with your support, they are still fighting alone.对比平庸范例 But even though the the minorities have heard these words, they have to face everything by themselves.本句话句式没有亮点，唯一的亮点是 flatter，显得作者词汇量很大，而且用的还准确！是个加分点。不像很多人，用了很多很生涩的词，结果用的驴唇不对马嘴，反倒使得自己的作文被人厌烦不已。破题的第八句，优秀范例 Support is important, bu
48、t what we value the most is action.对比平庸范例 Support have their value, but we need the action.本句优秀范例只能算是中等偏上，但还是有两个亮点。其一是 what 的从句用的很纯熟，有加分！其二是名词 value 在这里用的动词的词性，表达“珍视 ”的意思，用的很漂亮！掉书袋的第九句，优秀范例 Sometimes we miss old times teenagers, those built barricades in the streets of Paris in French Revolution or
49、took off his own coat and gave it to you in a cold winter night, 1940s Beijing.对比平庸范例 Sometimes, we will miss the old young people, they are the people who build barricades in the streets of Paris in French Revolution or in the 1940s winter of Beijing took off their own coat to give it to you.在这里优秀范例告诉你，老娘思想深刻不是白来的！而是因为看了很多书，随手拿两个例子出来，你就得佩服我看书多！首先对比平庸范例蹩脚的 old young people（老年轻人），就会发现优秀范例的 old times teenagers 写的准确啊！准确的表达出了“ 以前的年轻人”这个概念。然后再接下来，一个霸气的同位语（those 对于 old times teenagers 的解释说明）+定语从句省略 that（those后面省略了 that）+ 从句里两句并列（ built barricades in the streets of P
