1、The first time your toddler throws a tantrum maybe a real surprise. You may be stunned intoembarrassed silenceespecially if the tantrumoccurs in public. It is best to deal with tantrums assoon as they start. This tip sheet gives somesuggestions to help you manage tantrums andteach your toddler to ca
2、lm down quickly.Tantrums may start at about 12 months of age, whentoddlers are learning to be more independent. At thisstage they may appear to be demanding, stubborn anduncooperative. Tantrums are common in two year olds,but if managed well are less common in three and fouryear olds. As children le
3、arn to solve problems in otherways they throw fewer tantrums. Children may notgrow out of tantrums without help from their parents.Part of your task as a parent is to teach your child tomanage frustration and express anger in appropriateways.What Are Tantrums?Tantrums in children can be short (20 to
4、 30 seconds) orgo on for hours. They can include: Crying (without being hurt). Screaming and yelling. Stamping feet. Rolling around on the floor. Holding breath (this can be frightening but allchildren eventually take a gasp of air).Why Do Toddlers Have Tantrums?Tantrums occur when children feel ang
5、ry or frustrated.Toddlers often get frustrated when: They are told No. Things dont go the way they expect. They are unable to manage difficult tasks. They do not know the words to say what they want. They are overtired. There is no obvious reason.Children have different temperaments. Some childrenar
6、e quiet and easygoing and rarely throw tantrums.Others have quick tempers and often have tantrums.Children also learn to continue throwing tantrums ifthey get what they want. They learn to turn up orescalate their behaviour to make other people give in totheir demands. For example, imagine your chil
7、d picksup a small toy in the supermarket and says I want it.You calmly say No and put it back. Your child whines,grabs the toy and starts shouting Mine! Mine! If you tryto avoid a tantrum by saying Okay have it. But just thisonce . . . your child will learn that No means try harderand protest louder
8、 until you get what you want. Iftantrums work they are likely to happen again.How To Help Prevent Tantrums Where practical, put away special things you do notwant your child to touch, to avoid having to say Noand Dont touch too often. Have a few necessary and realistic rules. Try to keep to your chi
9、lds usual routine for mealsand sleep times. Keep your child up to date on things you are doingthrough the day by telling them what is going tohappen. Keep your child busy with activities in situationswhere they might otherwise be bored and disruptive. Watch for your child being good and praise goodb
10、ehaviour. Decide if your childs requests are reasonable beforeyou say Yes or No, and stick to your decision.How To Manage TantrumsUse Planned IgnoringIgnoring tantrums can be effective for toddlers undertwo years old. For this to work, your childs tantrummust be completely ignored. If it is safe, wa
11、lk away andpay no attention to your child until the tantrum stops.Positive Parenting of ToddlersTantrumsPARENT TIP SHEETIgnoring can be difficult when other children or visitorsare there. At these times you may prefer to use thefollowing suggestions instead.Tell Your Child What To DoFor tantrums in
12、older toddlers, stop what you are doingand move within an arms length of your child. Calmlybut firmly tell your child to stop the tantrum and whatto do insteadChristopher, stop screaming right nowand speak in a nice voice. Praise your child if they doas you ask.If the Tantrum Continues, Tell Your Ch
13、ildthe Problem and the ConsequenceIf the tantrum does not stop, sayYou have not done asI asked. Now go to time-out. Right now.Use Time-OutAct. Dont threaten to act. Take your child to a safe butuninteresting room or space (or cot for youngertoddlers under two years). Tell your child they must bequie
14、t before they can come out of time-out. Give thisreminder even though your child might be upset orangry. When your child has been quiet for two minutesreturn them to the activity or find them something todo. Praise your child as soon as they behave well again.How To Manage Tantrums in PublicIf a tan
15、trum occurs when you are out, you will need touse quiet time. Quiet time involves finding a safe placeto sit with your child such as a park bench or your car.Wait beside them (without talking) until they have beenquiet for 30 seconds, before going on. If your childdoes not quieten down, as a last re
16、sort pick them up,go home and take them straight to time-out. Try againnext time.General TipsBe Consistent If you have started to ignore a tantrum, continue toignore your child until they become quiet. If you use time-out, do not let your child out untilthey have been quiet for a short time. It may
17、takeyour child 20 minutes or more to be calm and quiet. Do not cuddle or comfort when your child throws atantrum. Do not talk to your child in time-out as this can makethe tantrum worse. Your child will learn an importantmessagewhen you have yourself under control youare welcome to rejoin us. Toddle
18、rs who throw lots of tantrums may need to goto time-out several times on the first day.Forgive and ForgetDo not mention the incident after time-out. As soon asyour child is busy in an activity, praise them.Keep TrackYou may find it helpful to write down each time youuse time-out and how long it take
19、s. By the end of thefirst week tantrums should be less frequent, and time-out should be shorter and needed less often.See the booklet Positive Parenting for moreinformation. If you have any questions or havetried these strategies and there has been noprogress after two weeks, contact the centre wher
20、eyou were given this tip sheet.Key Steps Plan ahead to prevent tantrums. Give your child attention and praise when theyare behaving well. If a tantrum occurs, use planned ignoring foryounger toddlers. For older toddlers, tell your child what you wantthem to do, and use time-out if the tantrumcontinu
21、es. Return your child to an activity and do notmention the incident after the tantrum stops.Written by the Parenting and Family Support Centre (Triple P), The University of Queensland, Brisbane. Published by the Victorian Parenting Centre 2005. Victorian Government Department of Human Services 2000.Permission is granted for this material to be printed, copied anddistributed for non-commercial purposes within the State of Victoria.Code: PPT2009
