1、Dont worry! (It makes you ill) Robert MatthewsDont worry! (It makes you ill) By Robert Matthews How to stop worrying, rumination and procrastination in order to regain health and happiness Medical Disclaimer I do not claim to have any medical qualifications, nor intend to advise anyone to disregard
2、advice given by medical practitioners. This book contains my personal beliefs, experiences and opinions. It is not intended in any way to be accepted as scientific fact or to replace medical advice or treatment. No guarantees of recovery are offered and anyone carry out any instructions given in thi
3、s book does so at their own risk. Copyright Notice This book is for personal use only. No part may be copied (except for personal use) or distributed by electronic, photocopying, printing or any other method unless permission granted. Breaching this worldwide copyright is illegal and attracts severe
4、 legal penalties. Anyone found to have made infringements will be prosecuted. This edition published October 2008 Robert Matthews Dont worry! (It makes you ill) Chapter one - give your brain a break! Do you spend a lot of time worrying? Do you suffer from serious or chronic illness? Are you someone
5、who thinks things over a lot of the time? If you are, then read onbecause worrying is a useless pastime, and not only that, it can make you seriously unhappy, it can make you ill, and it can stop you from recovering from illness. If you are a worrier you need to give your brain a break if you want t
6、o avoid or escape from illness. (There, thats something new for you to worry about!). You need to become a person of action rather than thought. No, not like James Bond! I am not referring simply to physical action, I am referring to doing rather than thinking about doing. This may be a very tall or
7、der if you are already crippled by procrastination but do not let this prevent you from taking as many steps as you can to move in this direction as far as you possibly can. Good examples of people who “do more and think less” are very young children and primitive people. They naturally opt for acti
8、on rather than thought. Children tend to experience stress in short term bursts because they are focused, decisive and do not dwell on stressful thoughts. Short term stress, like excitement, is beneficial. Although the mind may be active during excitement, it is more relaxed, focused and the accompa
9、nying emotions are positive (as for example, in sport). What you must avoid at all costs is a chronically over active thinking mind. The tendency to think everything over dozens of time before making a choice, decision or taking action is often referred to as procrastination or indecisiveness. This
10、stems much more from fear, caution or perfectionism than idleness. Some people habitually live in their thoughts all day long, thinking everything over, taking care before taking action, thinking things through and through, looking for solutions and answers by mulling things over. This can be quite
11、satisfying and addictive. If ever this constant thinking pays dividends it can create an even stronger conviction that this is a good way to approach all decisions, problems, situations, in fact life in general. In fact, it isnt a good way. You are more likely to make a good decision if you trust to
12、 your initial judgement or intuition than if you ponder over something for weeks on end. If you feel uncomfortable, or cant trust yourself to make any move without extensive thought, you are going to put a huge unnecessary burden on the mind. These habits are even more likely in intense, ambitious p
13、eople who are driven and determined to get on. Quite often a regular dose of self criticism is thrown in! There is a temptation to whip the brain even more relentlessly in a kind of frantic attempt to get answers, solutions, insights and to overcome hurdles, achieve expectations, and avoid repeating
14、 mistakes. A far cry from the relaxed mind of the tiny child. The desire to get on and achieve can be accompanied by a state of almost perpetual self awareness, monitoring progress, thinking about yourself, your situation and relating everything to yourself. This perpetual thinking isnt a good way t
15、o go through life because I believe for some there is a risk to health. The danger is that this kind of overactive mind can result in an inability to relax as deeply or as often as others, resulting in a constant low level anxiety, worry or stress. Is your mind resting enough? By saying “avoid an ov
16、eractive mind” I am not saying you should avoid concentration or focusing quite the opposite. It is not at all unhealthy to have an active, enquiring mind, after all, do not small children so often seem to have them? They have wonderful, natural powers of concentration. They do not spend hours each
17、day self consciously ruminating, reflecting, planning and pushing their minds for answers! It is myth that concentration requires “effort” or “strain.” In pure focused concentration the mind begins to relax. Meditation is a good illustration of how pure focus and concentration relax the mind. The mo
18、re a meditator focuses the quicker and deeper the feeling of relaxation. It is very similar in hypnotic induction. “Effort” and “strain” may sometimes be temporarily required to get into the state of concentration, but the pure state itself induces calm, which can be easily demonstrated by EEG monit
19、oring. People who “think too much” sometimes find they have lost their natural ability to concentrate and focus easily, and this may lead to them employing other strategies to make up for this loss, i.e. more thinking! Eventually theyd sooner work something out for themselves than learn something ne
20、w! Passive input learning is not a strain on the mind. It requires concentrationthis is what to aim for. How I tried these techniques out on myself I was so used to living in the world of pipe dreams, plans and analytical thoughts, that I found it surprisingly hard to stay grounded in the now. I not
21、iced that right from when I woke up in the mornings my mind would start churning. It became super active in no time. I was far too “self aware”, far too conscious of myself and of my situation. Once I got underway everything changed. So I focused off thought and onto things. I faced the hard work of
22、 focusing onto things that did not relate to me directly or to my thoughts; things that did not relate to my plans or situation, in any way. What things did I focus on instead? Tasks that required my full attention like chores Id been putting off or making a low priority all the stuff Id always rese
23、nted because it meant leaving the comfort zone, the “me” zone, the “thoughts” zone. It was a hard change. I committed myself to spending much more time, whenever possible to being entertained by passive pastimes such as films, music and television. I watched more documentaries, read far more novels
24、and non fiction about things that interested me. I avoided anything that led my brain towards reflection, interpretation, plans or analysis. I focused on learning, i.e. the kind of learning where I needed to focus rather than analyse, interpret, question or struggle to learn. Just passive learning t
25、hat required calm and even concentration, like learning a language. Passive input learning is not a strain on the mind. It requires a kind of relaxed concentration. Remember, pure concentration does not involve strain. The effort or strain only occurs when you are trying too hard or when you have to
26、 force you force yourself to keep going or remain focused. If it becomes a strain then stop. Physically, I exercised more, going for short regular bursts. I avoided long stimulating discussions and debates. If you are addicted to regular analytical discussion with loved ones or friends then please t
27、ry to phase out this habit until you have got out of the habit of chronic worrying - even if it entertains you. It may be a big part of your life, and feel like a massive loss, but you can steer conversation more towards light hearted stuff, relating events and so on. Theres nothing wrong in being s
28、erious, but if being “serious” means being analytical and thoughtful.dont be serious! I modelled myself on young children and primitives! (with regard to how much time I spent dwelling in thought) This may seem crazy but using these extremes is the best way to give your mind a much needed rest. At f
29、irst I felt a bit bereaved of my old way of life when I did this. Bereaved of my former “cerebral” existence. I was afraid that if I put my thoughts, plans, and dreams to one side everything in my life would stop moving forward. I would be nothing but a passive, broken invalid with no hope, no direc
30、tion, no plans to perfect, no meaning to my life. I desperately wanted to revert back to indulging in my old thought centred existence, back to my old daylong habits that I missed so badly. I wanted to pick up where Id left off to return to hope, to dreams, to the comfort of perfectionism and endles
31、sly mulling everything over. It felt like Id been away on a long holiday which Id enjoyed to start with. A holiday where Id been grounded, living in the moment, where Id watched the sea for days, where Id been entertained constantlybut now I was longing to return to the old familiarity, to return ho
32、me to dwelling in thoughts, to myself, to plans, dreams and hopes. Then I realised it was simply because I didnt want to face reality. I didnt want to face my true situation or abilities - returning to a “now” that Id never been satisfied with. Id been in the habit of living in my head to escape a r
33、eality. The world of excessive thinking, plans and hopes of a better future had protected me from facing myself and my life head on for years! But I was convinced I had to achieve this if I was to find happiness and health. When I faced living in the present moment it felt depressing, a bit like Id
34、lost a huge part of what made up “me.” It was like stepping off a “thought roller coaster” that Id lived on since about the age of eight or nine. To be honest it was more like a persistent, slowly grinding machine than a roller coaster, but one that invariably kept repeating the same old circuits. T
35、he hardest part The hardest part for me was cutting out the habit of thinking things over almost all of the time. I began spending almost no time thinking things over. This was by far the most difficult bit of my campaign, it was like swallowing a very bitter pill; one I knew I had to swallow to get
36、 better. I had no idea Id been spending so much time in thought, so much time stewing on things, monitoring what I did, avoiding mistakes and being aware of myself. No idea that is, until I tried to put a stop to it. I kept using the way a young child approaches life as a rough model to help me, kno
37、wing that young children spend almost no time analysing, reflecting, thinking and planning. They just aim to get what they can out of each moment they find themselves in. Calming down was hard too. I hadnt realised how hyper all that complex mental activity had made me. So I tried to deliberately re
38、lax mind and body whenever I remembered. I realised I was much more tense even just walking along than Id realised. From time to time when walking, Id deliberately relax my face, hands, stomach, shouldersanywhere I noted tension. Id imagine inanimate objects I was walking past had the magical power
39、to relax me. I did the same thing with objects indoors and when people were around me. Id imagine a cosy warm glow was beginning to fill me. It started working immediately and soon became a habit. I became much happier and more relaxed. In my spare time alone Id deliberately pick up a novel, do chor
40、es, watch a relaxing film. I started to “do” more and soon noticed that a new foundation of calm was beginning to form beneath everything. This was quite exciting! Even when excited, the foundation of calm remained. I decided I was never going to let a stressful thought or episode get to me ever aga
41、in Above all, I decided I was going to do everything in my power to diffuse stress. Emotional pain is unavoidable pain sometimes, for example due to bereavement, a failed relationship, or even an argument. I was convinced I had no option but to revolutionise my ways of handling setbacks, worries and
42、 emotions. Either cope with those things 100% better than I had been doing in my life up till then, or face more chronic worry, tensionand ultimately stress related illness. simple choice Emotional wounds are very like physical wounds in some respects. Some people give too much unneeded attention to
43、 physical wounds, fussing over them, staring at them, feeling excessive anger towards the perpetrator and feeling sorry for themselves. Even when the wounds are healing, they still look at them or interfere by picking at them. The best thing to do with all wounds is too look away as soon as you poss
44、ible and get on with life as best as you can. Its the looking away bit that takes strength and courage when the wounds are emotional. I had to dig much deeper than ever before to find that strength. Emotional pain often cannot be ignored, and when no amount of action can be taken to remove it, the b
45、est thing to do is accept it fully. The trouble is that full acceptance then often transmutes into other emotions like anger or depression. These too must be accepted by finding the best strength you can muster to get on with life. I was now using a lot more additional effort and strength into shrug
46、ging things off and getting on with life as best I could after setbacks.as a result I was convinced that I was becoming much happier and healthier. I dont claim to have all the answers but I am certain that many of us need to learn how to cope with stress and worry far more in order to live happy, f
47、ulfilled lives and reach our full potential. Coping with stress and avoiding worrying are often as important as conventional medical in the treatment of illness. In my view it is absolutely paramount you learn how to deal with worry if you are to overcome many serious illnesses. If you are illstep b
48、ack In fact I believe that if you are afflicted with a serious illness you have no choice but to let go of all things stressful, whenever possible, because of how badly any stress affects the illness. This means not letting yourself get upset over social or environmental decline, injustice, politics
49、 and other big issues. The moment anything upsets or angers you, try to shrug it off or step back as if you were not involved like a small child or someone who is detached or “amoral”. You may find this idea distasteful, extremely difficult or near impossible. If that is the case try to spend as little time dwelling on these matters as possible. Dont feel guilty about stepping back; you are doing it for the sake of your own health. I believe you have a choice, step back and let others take the pressure, do the worrying,
