1、ANGER“Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everyones power and that is not easy.“ AristotleARE YOU SOMETIMES ANGRY?1. Fill in the questionnaire: Anger QuestionnairePlease a
2、nswer the following questions true or false.I dont show my anger about everything that makes me mad, but when I do look out. T FI still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past. T FWaiting in line, or waiting for other people, really annoys me. T FI fly off the handle ea
3、sily. T FI often find myself having heated arguments with the people who are closest to me T FI sometimes lie awake at night and think about the things that upset me during the day. T FWhen someone says or does something that upsets me, I dont usually say anything at the time, but later spend a lot
4、of time thinking up cutting replies I could and should have made.T FI find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong. T FI get angry with myself when I lost control of my emotions. T FPeople really irritate me when they dont behave the way they should, or when they act like they dont hav
5、e the good sense God gave lettuce.T FIf I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later, either with a weak spell, headache, upset stomach, or diarrhea.T FPeople Ive trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed. T FWhen things dont go my way, I get de
6、pressed. T FI am apt to take frustration so badly that I cannot put it out of my mind. T FIve been so angry at times I couldnt remember things I said or did. T FAfter arguing with someone, I have myself. T FIve had trouble on the job because of my temper. T FWhen riled up, I often blurt out things I
7、 later regret saying. T FSome people are afraid of my bad temper. T FWhen I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs.T FWhen someone hurts or frustrates me, I want to get even. T FIve gotten so angry at times that Ive become physically violent, hittin
8、g other people or breaking things.T FAt times, Ive felt angry enough to kill. T FSometimes I feel so hurt and alone I feel like committing suicide. T FIm a really angry person, and I know I need help learning to control my temper and angry feelings because it has already caused me a lot of problems.
9、T FIf you answered true to ten or more of these statements, you are seriously prone to anger problems. Its time for a change.If you answered true to five questions, you are about average in your angry feelings, but learning some anger management techniques can make you a happier person.If you answer
10、ed true to even one of the last four questions, then your anger has reached a danger level!2. Have a look at yet another questionnaire:http:/www4.semo.edu/snell/Research/study4.htm3. Have a look at ANGER BUSTERS: http:/www.pomounties.org/paths/anger_busters.htm4. LEARN new vocab:Main Entry: angryPar
11、t of Speech: adjectiveDefinition: madSynonyms: affronted, annoyed, antagonized, bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exacerbated, exasperated, ferocious, fierce, fiery, fuming, furious, galled, hateful, heated, hot, huffy, ill-tempered, impassioned, incensed, indignant, i
12、nflamed, infuriated, irascible, irate, ireful, irritable, irritated, maddened, nettled, offended, outraged, passionate, piqued, provoked, raging, resentful, riled, sore, splenetic, storming, sulky, sullen, tumultuous, turbulent, uptight, vexed, wrathfulAntonyms: calm, content, euphoric, gleeful, hap
13、py, joyful, joyous, pleased5. Watch some videos: http:/www.bbc.co.uk/videonation/category/anger/6. Find out which part of your brain produces feelings of rage and anger with our interactive brain map:http:/www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/interactives/organs/brainmap/7. READ about anger:Anger ma
14、nagementAmerican Psychological AssociationWe all know what anger is, and weve all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as a full-fledged rage.What is anger? Anger is a completely normal and usually healthy emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems
15、 at work, in your personal relationships and in the overall quality of your life. Anger can make you feel as though youre at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Its an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage, according to Charles Spielbe
16、rger, PhD, a psychologist who specialises in the study of anger. Like other emotions, its accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as does the level of your energy hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline. Anger can be caused by
17、 both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a co-worker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a cancelled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger
18、angry feelings. Expressing angerThe instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive feelings and behaviour, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when were attacked. A certain amo
19、unt of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.On the other hand, we cant physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious process
20、es to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing and calming.Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive - not aggressive - manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get
21、 them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesnt mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The a
22、im is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour. The danger in this type of response is that if the anger isnt allowed an outward expression, it can turn inward - on yourself. This may cause hypertension (high blood pressure) or depression.Unexpressed anger ca
23、n create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly p
24、utting others down, criticising everything and making cynical comments havent learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they arent likely to have many successful relationships.Finally, you can calm yourself down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behaviou
25、r but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside.As Dr Spielberger notes: “When none of these three techniques work, thats when someone - or something - is going to get hurt.“The goal of anger management is to redu
26、ce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You cant get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, h
27、ow prone to anger you are and how well you handle it. But its likely that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know about it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion. Why are some peop
28、le angrier than others? According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specialises in anger management, some people are really more hotheaded than others; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person. There are also those who dont show their anger in loud spectacul
29、ar ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people dont always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk or get physically ill. People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that the
30、y feel that they shouldnt have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience or annoyance. They cant take things in their stride, and theyre particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake. What makes these people this way? A number of
31、things. One cause may be genetic or physiological; theres evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; were taught that its all right to express an
32、xiety, depression or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we dont learn how to handle or channel it constructively. Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic and unskilled in
33、communicating emotionally. Is it good to let it all hang out? Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people take this theory as permission to hurt others. Research has found that letting it rip with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the
34、 person youre angry with) resolve the situation. Its best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from toppling you over the edge. If you fear that your feelings of anger might suddenly spiral out of control, there are ways in which you
35、can help yourself to manage and dissipate the feelings of anxiety and tension that are brought on by anger.Strategies to keep anger at baySimple relaxation tools such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation t
36、echniques, and once you learn them you can call upon them in any situation. If youre involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques. Some simple steps you can try: Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from
37、your chest wont relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your stomach. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax“ and “take it easy“. Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery; visualise a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. Non-strenuous,
38、slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when youre in a tense situation. This simply means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear or speak in highly colourful terms that ref
39、lect their inner thoughts. When youre angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “Everythings ruined,“ think “its frustrating, and its understandable that Im upset about it, but i
40、ts not the end of the world and getting angry wont fix it.“Be careful of words like never or always when talking about yourself or someone else. “This machine never works,“ or “Youre always forgetting things“ arent just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and th
41、at theres no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.For example, you have a friend whos constantly late when you make plans to meet. Dont go on the attack; think instead about the goal you want to accomplish (th
42、at is, getting you and your friend there at about the same time). So avoid saying things like, “Youre always late! Youre the most irresponsible, inconsiderate person Ive ever met!“ The only goal that this accomplishes is hurting and angering your friend.State what the problem is, and try to find a s
43、olution that works for both of you; or take matters into your own hands by, for instance, setting your meeting time half an hour earlier so that your friend will, in fact, get there on time, even if you have to trick him or her into doing it! Either way, the problem is solved and the friendship isnt
44、 damaged.Remind yourself that getting angry isnt going to fix anything, and that it wont make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). Logic defeats anger, because even when its justified, it can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic - remind yourself that the world isnt o
45、ut to get you - youre just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the better of you, and itll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement and willingness to do things their way.
46、Everyone wants these things, and were all hurt and disappointed when we dont get them. But angry people demand them, and when their demands arent met their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translat
47、e their expectations into desires.In other words, saying “Id like something“ is healthier than saying “I must have something“. When youre unable to get what you want, youll experience the normal reactions - frustration, disappointment, hurt - but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way
48、to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesnt mean the hurt goes away.Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often its a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. Theres also a cultural belief that every pro
49、blem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isnt always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation is not to focus on finding the solution but rather on how you handle and face the problem.Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. (People who have trouble with planning might find a good guide to organising or time management helpful.) Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesnt come right away. If y
