1、1The Absent-minded academicAt times I like to abandon my ability to speak and write in an academic way, which my friends call an abuse of language. When I am about to go aboard a plane to go abroad, I often still think about this. At these times I am so absent-minded that I almost miss the call for
2、“all aboard“. In another every word. Instead, I aim for clear and simple communication to help others absorb what I am saying. This is not easy since I like to abuse language and always try to use the full range of language to the best of my ability. However, I think that one can abandon oneself to
3、new experiences when overseas without treating ones training with abandon. It has also been suggested that I get rid of my strong accent, and my absence from my country might accelerate this change. In the meantime, Ill think of ways to use Band 4 words, in concrete ways, rather than in the abstract
4、. Readers can then abstract what suits them best, from the book, towards developing absolute faith in their ability to master English.Mrs. Black in the RedMrs. Black has a savings account with a nearby bank, and recently she started to receive statements not in accordance with her books. According t
5、o one notice, it said that she owed the bank $200,200. “Are they really expecting my acceptance of this?“ she thought. So, accompanied by Mr. Black she marched into the bank the next morning. After hearing her story the accountant behind the counter explained that “there has been an accidental misco
6、unting.“ “But this is not the first time. The book keeping has never been in accord with reality!“ Mrs. Black argued, and she insisted on withdrawing all her money. However, she was told that “the computer is down“ and she couldnt even access her money! By this time there were quite a few people sta
7、nding in the access to the counter. They heard the conversation and of their own accord all took a stand in support of Mrs. Black. With one accord, they all accused the bank of not being accurate with their bookkeeping and insisted that measures be taken accordingly to achieve accuracy. As the numbe
8、r of customers accumulated, the Board members met and were in accordance that inaccuracy couldnt be accepted and sent for the manager from his office accommodation to account for the mistakes. Dissatisfied with the fact that the manager failed to accomplish his duty and achieve accuracy in his perfo
9、rmance, the Board reached an accord and fired the manager. They also accorded Mrs. Black “favored Customer“ of the month. 2A Little Lion TamerA young acquaintance of mine is not accustomed to achievement. In fact, in the administration of his duties as trainee lion tamer, he is not usually considere
10、d adequate and often has to acknowledge the acid remarks of his father, the head lion tamer, for his lack of action. His father often uses the adjective “sleepy“ to describe the lack of activity of both him and the lions. In addition, he has been told adjust his attitudes and acquire a greater sense
11、 of showmanship if he wishes to gain admission to the main ring in the circus tent. His need is acute, because acquisition of performing skills would be an addition to his natural ability to communicate with lions, and enable him to step into the main ring when his father is out of action. In additi
12、on to this, even though he is only 3 years old and gets very tired following the lions around their one acre park, he is already famous as a lion tamer because he appears in an ad for the circus, and is even being sought by a manufactruer to promote acid adapted specially for use in animal food. You
13、 Cant Teach an Old Dog New TricksJames walked out of the travel agency and looked very angry. He had decided to take a trip around the world and planned to take Jimmy, his dog, with him. But the travel agent refused to write a ticket for Jimmy, because pets were not allowed to board the aircraft. Al
14、though they called afterwards to say they were sorry-even using the adverb “terribly“-James was still very upset. He had adopted Jimmy before Jimmy was an adult, and the affection between them was very strong. Since seeking aid from the airline wasnt advisable, James advertised in the newspaper for
15、a nanny to take care of Jimmy during his absence. Many people replied to the advertisement, but James was very cautious because he didnt want to be taken advantage of. An aggressive young man caught James attention; he had graduated from an advanced nursing school, and called himself an advocate of
16、animal rights. “This is a big advantage“, thought James. He then dropped the agenda he was preparing for the next days meeting and took Jimmy to meet the young man. Jimmy was an old dog, and his hair was a mix of all colors: a bit gray, a bit brown and a bit black, and he was almost deaf too, so he
17、always wore his hearing aid. Luckily, it didnt affect Jimmys activity. You know what happened when the young man who advocated himself as an animal lover saw Jimmy? He refused to look after Jimmy and said a surgical operation would be to advantage for both of them! For Whom The Clock Ticks3Michael i
18、s flying back to Australia after visiting his aunt in New York. He is an amateur clown and his ambition is to become a full-time performer. Before he boards the airplane, Michael goes into the airport store for a gift for his wife. With his small allowance, he has the two alternatives of a teddy bea
19、r or an alarm clock made of aluminum. He takes the clock, as he always needs to make allowances for her never being on time. Fifteen minutes later, Michael is sitting comfortably in his seat. He says hello to the man sitting alongside, asks for some alcohol, and dozes off. Suddenly, a tap on the sho
20、ulder awakens him. He looks around and finds that the plane hasnt gained any altitude; its still on the ground. What amazes him is that two policemen then force him to get off the plane and into a police car. Michael also notices that the police take a suitcase into an ambulance. The suitcase and hi
21、s own look very alike. This alerts Michael that something has happened. When they arrive at the police station, Michael is very surprised to see the Australian Ambassador there, talking to an officer from the office of Alliance of Allies against Terrorism, who keeps looking at Michael with alert eye
22、s. Michaels suitcase is lying on one of the tables, with everything thrown out: some clothes, a key ring with the alphabet on it, a bottle of sine and the clock. The policemen seem to be on the alert against something and their expressions alter when they see the clock-the crew thought it was a bomb
23、 and alerted the police! Weighing up the AnchorI once knew a woman who had a grandmother. Apart from that, she was always as busy as an ant, trying to angle for buyers to take her grandmothers unwanted goods for a large amount of money. Once, when I was reading a college annual, she came to my apart
24、ment to pay a visit because she wanted me to buy an anchor as a wedding anniversary gift for my wife! She said it was an antique that her grandmother got from her ancestors. I took a quick look at it; it was old, even ancient, perhaps. Anyhow, it was certainly no more antique than her grandmother, s
25、o I said no. She was that sort of person, anyway; what you said amounted to nothing. She then tried to show me the ugly thing from different angles while we stood apart. At that point, her behavior reminded me of someone who might be anchoring a shopping program on television trying to angle the exh
26、ibit towards the camera. However, it fell over, hurting my ankle badly, What annoyed me most was that she was so amused, and burst into laughter. So I refused to invite her to my annual Valentines Day party, and anticipated that I wouldnt see her again. She must have wondered with anxiety and starte
27、d to analyze the whole thing. I wasnt surprised when she announced that according to her analyses I owed her an apology. Applying for a Job4To appeal to an employer, the applicant decided to apply in person, rather than wait to be offered an appointment. She didnt appreciate that her sudden appearan
28、ce might not be appreciated. The employer was in the appliance industry. He didnt approve of her approach and said that if he was going to appoint anybody, there must be a written application. He said he needed to decied whether an interview would be applicable and if so, he could then make an appro
29、ximate time to see her. He added that she could not expect to appropriate his time or approximate his staff in the way she did . The staff immediately broke into loud applause. They thought this would be a way to gain his approval, because the employer had a huge appetite for new experiences. They d
30、idnt expect that he also had na apparent dislike of not being in control. To all appearances it seemed that no appeal would be possible now, to have the employer approach this situation in her favor. However, he then said that because she had appropriate experience, he would give her a job on approv
31、al for 2 weeks. The Big Draw The most popular TV talk show in town arranged for two architects to talk about architecture on screen. But as soon as they saw each other, an argument arise as both men insisted on being called the greatest artist. Each attacked the other person from different aspect. O
32、ne said, “Theres nothing artistic in your works, they look so artificial.“ “What about you?“, the other replied. “You cant even do arithmetic, and the best thing youve ever made is an ash tray.“ Soon they engaged in a fight. Security guards rushed in and took them aside. Police came and arrested the
33、m, and arrangements were made to take them to court. The judge was an arbitrary person, who had no interests aside from food. He was annoyed at beingaroused from hes afternoon nap, and sent the two to jail without listening to the case. While they were under arrest, families of both men sold their a
34、ssets, offered the warden the money, and soon both men were set free, But the Assembly discovered this and its members were assmbled to hear the case. The TV station televised and assessed the whole process. Its viewing rate took off like an arrow. A Brief EncounterA male athletenamed Bruce was anno
35、yed by an atomic plant near his house, because it polluted the area by its waste. Bruce decided to take the plant to court and hired an attractive female attorney named Brenda to represent him. However, she was busy with some other assignment as an associate partner, and sent her associate to assist
36、 him instead. Bruce was unhappy about it as he thought such an association between himself and his lawyer was not going to help him attain his goal. He insisted Brenda assign his case 5back to herself. His attitude created an atmosphere of tension. When the case came to court, Brenda assumed that he
37、 would attach himself to her for assistance. But to her surprise, he did a good job on his own. She started to feel an attraction towards Bruce and assured him that he would have her assist, and that she wanted to associate with him personally. Both were astonished that their love for each other exp
38、loded like a split atom. In the end, Bruce won both the case and the woman he loved. A Right way to Rob?The author carefully parked his automobile in an available space along the avenue heading to the lecture hall. He was on auto-pilot as he was still preparing his speech. He was going to receive th
39、e award of the “golden axe“ and was to speak in front of the audience. As far as he was aware, this prize was usually given in an awful hurry, followed by some awkward event, the main attribute of the Academy. However, he decided they might not attribute his absence to some type of authority shyness
40、, and that they might even award the prize to his rival, a member of the non-writing group, who only published his work by audio cassette. So he hurried towards the hall, opened the door and was amazed at what he saw: a man had an automatic gun in one hand, the trophy in the other, and was robbing t
41、he members of the Ladies Auxiliary! Barber Shop MusicA barber who was also a music lover organized a band to play background music at a small bar. But soon, neighbors accused them of playing some banned music. The sheriff issued a ban. It said that they were not allowed to play music anymore, otherw
42、ise theyd be kept behind bars. So they packed their baggage and moved to another city. However, as they had no jobs and were bankrupt, they could barely exist, and had great trouble just to keep a balance in their account. They could only afford bare necessities. To make things worse, one of them ha
43、d bacon with bacteria in 6it and his life was in the balance. All these troubles would not make them stop playing music or take a backward move, though. They threw off their shirts and bared their chests, as it got hootter. The patients were very excited about it too, and a man with an arm banded wi
44、th plaster even danced to their music, but when he moved backwards, he threw himself off balance. The band then became a big success and were even invited to perform in a concert to raise funds for bankrupts and homeless people. Barking up the Wrong TreeA man tried to sell hes neighbor a new dog for
45、 five dollars. “This is a talking dog.“ He said. “Stop behaving stupidly,“ the neighbor replied, “how can a beast like that talk? Or you mean bark?“ Suddenly, the dog looked up and said with tears in his eyes, “Please buy me, Sir. This man is mean. He keeps me in a barn and I have to sleep in a barr
46、el. He feeds me only beans and never walks me to the bay, and the only toy I have is a waste battery. Basically speaking, he treats me like a beggar. On the basis of his behavior, Im sure hell abuse me with his baseball bat one day. And mind you, I hate his ugly beard. I used to be the richest trick
47、 dog in the country, and have the best bearing, too. I can jump over the highest barrierand barrel ovey any high beam. I attended the Animals Olympice on behalf of the country. I had so many fans who loved me so much that my body guards had brouble keeping thim at bay.“ The dog beamed with pride. “H
48、ey,“ said the neighbor, “he can talk! How come you want to sell him for just five dollars?“ “Im selling him om my own behalf. Im getting tired of his lies, which have a bearing on my kids, too, and wish he would only talk with a bark.“ the seller said. The Cold Blooded Killer7A man was arrested for
49、killing a beloved old lady just because he had a bet with another man. The policeman described it as the bloodiest murder ever and said that the cruelty of the killer was beyond belief. It would be beneficial to society to punish such a cruel being, he concluded. At this, the attorney for the accused rose and said to the judge:“Your Honor, if you compare this murder with my clients last murder of his uncle, who died in a terrible blast, I bet you wont think that this murder with a blade was done in cold blood. Besides, the old lady was in her late nineties an
